Promiscuity

Promiscuity

And so the bank of England needs to ‘take its foot of the accelerator’ and, in the not too distant future, raise interest rates. Phrases like ‘reckless household spending’ are current, and once again, we don’t wonder why. The controllers just increase interest rates to try and stem the epidemic.

We never question whether or not our happiness is something well rooted or just superficial. We say things like: ‘Oh yes, even though the Greeks are a poorer nation than us, they live longer; must be something to do with their diet.’ Blind fools we are.

If we take the time to read books such as: Huxley’s Brave New world, or  Orwell’s Animal Farm, or Golding’s Lord of the Flies, we clearly see the warnings no one has bothered to take heed of. Do we think these authors wrote what they did simply to amuse themselves and make some money? Do we think the great philosophers of our past said what they did simply because they had nothing better to do?

To think of a romantic past for a moment, it used to be the case, that if you wanted a girl, you’d take her out on a date; you’d play the beautiful (if frustrating) dating game. Now all you need do is buy her a few drinks and once you’re both pissed enough sex is guaranteed. Before marriage, it’s not unusual for a girl to have had sex with five or even ten men. It is possible this is a naive estimate. 

Furthermore the TV projects the existence of such things as ‘Angry Sex’ and the papers devote double page spreads as to whether this is healthy or not. What can anger possibly have to do with sex? How could you ever want sex when angry? Perhaps a sadist could? I’m confused by this, have we all become sadists?

“We know sex has very little to do with love, yet, it is the most intimate sharing of the only thing we own. Surely time spent considering with whom, when and how this is done, is important?”

I once knew a man who considered himself a romantic. He met a beautiful girl, who seemed confident and kind natured. He dated her; wooed her and fell in love. Some months later, before they had sex, she demonstrated the courage (perhaps out of necessity) to tell him all about her previous, promiscuous nature, and the resultant chlamydia. He was devastated. The word chlamydia is derived from the Greek khlamus, khlamud- ‘cloak.’

“Confident girls with high self-esteem and high regard of themselves are rarely promiscuous. Promiscuity is the result of childhood abuse or using sex to validate oneself. The advice is: if you want to break from the past and find a good man, seek a healthy resolution to your abuse, build your self-esteem and never, never fuck about.”

Are ‘old fashioned values’ of any benefit? It’s certain some will never find out.

The social order is disorder. We’re kept guilty and confused only to be calmed with drugs (yes alcohol is a drug and because we’re guilty and conditioned to drink we’re likely saying at this moment: ‘yeah fuck it, let’s get wankered!’).

There’s nothing wrong with glass of wine to accompany a meal, however, only those conditioned with the belief: wine is something to be savoured and not quaffed, are able to drink sensibly. What with wine, and drink generally, being considered an ‘acquired taste,’ we can know that to the ‘untrained’ palate, it will always taste horrible. First impressions and all that. Stick with something long enough and you’ll get used to it regardless of whether it’s love or just bad habit.

“When it comes to hope, well, we can hope to learn something from the Greeks and their love of: family, food, socialising, each other and life in general, and yet it would seem that this hope, is only meant for the few, not the many.”

Think of this story. Whilst travelling from Athens to London one of the Greek passengers (one of a group) fell ill. Such a fuss was made over the unfortunate lady that a doctor was found, oxygen administered, water dribbled, seats given up, the potential of a flight diverted, and it seemed all pandemonium was let loose. In the end she was fine, and to the tutting English people – who failed to understand – thankfully their flight wasn’t diverted.    

It’s a certainty that what comes with age, if we’re lucky, is a little more wisdom. And the irony of the common retrospection of: ‘Oh, if only I’d known then, what I know now.’ How sad that we seem so insistent on maintaining our ignorance, by ignoring the wisdom of our elders. Time for change? I doubt it.

Get Yourself on Stage

anxiety

Stepping out into the unknown is something we may be nervous or anxious about. A certain amount of nerves is inevitable when under pressure. We may be nervous about an exam or test for example. Perhaps you’re about to perform on stage and you’re experiencing slight stage nerves. Perhaps it goes beyond nerves, and you feel absolutely terrified, and yet we get through it, don’t we?  After the first few words on stage, or bars of music in a piece, or those first few questions in an exam, we overcome our nerves.

So what purpose does anxiety serve? It could be said, anxiety is the means the mind uses to focus itself. When we’re experiencing anxiety, and the stress this creates, the mind is very focused on the task in hand. This focusing, through anxiety, is the fear that we may fail at the task. Does the fear of failure (anxiety) actually help or hinder us?

Perhaps, in terms of it being beneficial, anxiety gives us the advantage of showing others our humility. When others see us as nervous, they want us to do well, and they understand our need; others understand that we’re nervous about failing at doing our best. Once we realise this, we’re then often free of our nerves, and we relax into whatever the task may be.

“What about those times when we’ve allowed our anxiety to get the better of us? When this is the case we freeze. When frozen our fear has moved to another level and we can call this level: ‘Stage Fright.’ Stage fright is very different to just a few first night nerves.”   

Why not take this further and begin to view the whole of life as a stage? When we do this it opens up some rather interesting angles. That first job, first date, or perhaps that first big change we need to make, are the types of events – during this self-directed play called ‘life’ – that induce a certain level of stress. Now however, with our understanding of the power of focusing, we can see this stress as useful. We can now give this its proper description: Eustress (beneficial stress).

“During the times we’re experiencing eustress we’re focused, and due to the reasons mentioned, our slight fear helps us perform well.”

“It’s when we experience stage fright that we fail. We fail simply because we don’t act. We fail to actually do the thing.”

“Many of us experience stage fright during our play of life, and rather than recognising it as such, we simply ignore it. Instead of going on stage, and acting out our lives to the fullest, we stay in the wings.”

It’s comfortable here in the wings though, isn’t it? We can just watch the show unfold. We don’t need all those people looking at us, laughing at us, approving of us, disapproving of us, judging us, loving us, hating us, do we? No of course we don’t, we can stay safely in the wings and just watch, that way, we never need to experience the potential of anything?

“Hold on though, there is one rule we’re forgetting: if we don’t feel the fear we’re never going to feel the love, and love, is the most powerful drug in the world.”

To go further, I’m going to set one important example: Relationships. Is it possible to be in a relationship where both of you are happy being observers? Before answering that question, bear in mind, ‘happy,’ in this instance, may simply be the feeling we have when we’re free of fear. Here’s another question: Is it possible for just one of you to stay in the wings whilst the other preforms to their fullest? Somehow, I doubt this will ever work in the long term. Remember: the reality is, we’re talking about, life here.

“If it’s time for a relationship to end, it may well be, that it’s our first experience of an ending. As many understand, through experience, it is possible to fear endings as much as we fear beginnings, especially when this is likely to lead to the advent of stage nerves.”

Take yourself out of the wings, get on stage, get over the fear and act out your life to the fullest, NOW…

anxiety

99.9% Certain of High Self-esteem

certainty

It’s estimated 99.9% of everything that has ever lived, here on planet earth, has gone extinct. From meteor strikes to sun flares, everything, it would seem, is out to cause our demise. Evidence shows that mass extinctions are fairly commonplace here, and if we add our own self-destructive tendencies into the mix, then surely, our time is limited, and 99.9% certain, to end altogether.

With these statistics in mind, it’s all too easy, to just throw our hands in the air, and just carry on with the party regardless, not caring very much about improving the human condition. What’s the point? you might ask. If our species is certain to die, why must we look to improve? Why not just continue to allow the downward slide, into the grey, and confused?

“What the doomsayers forget, and conveniently overlook, is the fact we’re currently the only species on earth, to have gained the level of consciousness we currently own. We are actually aware of what’s going on around us. When it comes to our continued survival, this awareness, may actually help us.”

Being aware, of the dangers we’re constantly surrounded with here on earth, is not something to shy away from, it’s something to embrace. Learning more about how to protect ourselves from the dangers is key. For example, we know from recent experience, that it’s older buildings that crumble and collapse during earthquakes. How we respond to this small piece of hindsight is up to us.

We also know, that a sun flare, or meteor strike – if either were massive enough – would be sufficient to wipe out vast swathes of life on earth. Staying with these examples, quite simply, the key to our long term survival, is to learn more about the sun, the earth and the universe as a whole. We know a lot less than we might think.

You might wonder – in a quiet moment away from the party – why is our future survival so important? If most of what has ever lived, has gone extinct, is that not just the way of things? If the dinosaurs hadn’t expired we wouldn’t be here anyway. Some say extinctions are a necessary part of evolution. It could well be that what replaces us, after our eventual demise, is the improvement some seek. But even though we might say these things, let us deal in certainties, for a moment.

“What is certain, in this moment in time, is that you’re alive. You’re breathing in and out. You have an opportunity, whilst alive and breathing, to make adjustments to your future. That is a certainty.”

Predicting extinction, based on the past, is of no real value in the present moment. One theory I recently heard, is the behaviour of the weather, the sun and all manner of natural events, is affected by the position we currently hold in the galaxy. This is to say, our relative position to the galactic centre, has great influence on natural events. Who’s to say what these events are likely to be? It may well be, that the relative calm – earth is currently experiencing – is likely to continue for eons. Plenty time enough for us to increase the odds of our survival.

“The upshot is we must never give up. Even when the odds, seem stacked against us, we humans go on. It’s this spirit of survival, in an unpredictable and violent universe, that has helped us make it this far.”

On a slightly less dramatic level, based on recent experience, the feeling is we’ll likely make tremendous headway, toward our future survival, by focusing our attention on one thing: Self-esteem. It’s self-esteem that holds the key to so many things, and yes, once again, it’s something so fundamentally simple, that we’re missing it.

“High self-esteem enables us to push aside prejudiced, preconceived ideas, that stop us from seeing the alternatives to our behaviour.”

Those who have high self-esteem are enabled – through their courage – to easily consider the opinions and points of view of others. High self-esteem enables us to remove assumptions. We know nothing of others motives and intentions, and high self-esteem helps us to remove any defensive, blocking stance we may have, when it comes to dealing with others. Everyone has something to teach us; high self-esteem helps us firstly see this, and secondly, it helps us acknowledge, and then act on, what others show us.

“If we continue to behave in the child-like manner – many of our leaders are currently exhibiting – it’s our ignorance, of each other, that will lead to our extinction.”

The will we have, to overpower each other, is driven by self-esteem. This is not what you may be thinking. It’s low self-esteem and lack of confidence that causes us to seek the power of others. Often, in the process of seeking others power, we cut ourselves off to advancement. Dismissing, what others have to teach us, in whatever manner, is as a consequence of lack. It’s the confident students with high self-esteem that do the advancement.

“Low self-esteem is exhibited by the student – with the knife in his pocket – who sites at the back of the class.”

The way to change this lack, is to simply be aware of the symptoms. If you find yourself dismissive, defensive, or indeed attacking of those who approach you, question why. The root, of course, lies in parenting, and how we were parented. The most effective mothers and fathers are those who hold high self-esteem. The way to gain 99.9% high self-esteem is to raise your awareness of this.

And so, just as our awareness will be our saving grace as a species, make this your personal goal, and pass it on. In the process of passing it on, you’ll recognise those who need your help, in raising their self-esteem. The first road we must all take to our future survival. Simple.

certainty

 

The Bookshop Bitch (a story shared)

Bookshop

Imagine the scenario: You’re a middle aged woman, you’ve had numerous disappointments in your life – mostly they’ve revolved around men. To you, men are unpleasant beings, that have been a constant disappointment to you all your life.

Your father wasn’t much of a man; he mistreated your mother. To add to this, all you’ve experienced, throughout the whole of your life, is more of the same. You’re friends think you’ve become neurotic and bitter; they see how your relationships have turned you into someone becoming increasingly cantankerous and defensive.

To earn your salt you manage a bookshop. It’s independent, quite new in the high street, and space on your shelves is at a premium. You’re at home here; this is your domain and you feel in charge. Whilst stood behind the counter, nothing and no one, can touch you.

Now, one quiet afternoon, a man walks in, holding a book. He seems genial enough, he smiles and introduces himself. You’re standing behind the counter with your young female assistant, who is also greeted in the same way, the man asks:

“Are you an independent bookshop?”

Your assistant takes up the initiative and answers: “Oh yes, in fact we’re one of three.”

“Oh okay, only I called in today to ask if you sell self-published books?  – On a sale or return basis that is, I offer 40% commission” Confirms the man.

“Well we do, however the owner has told us not to take any self-published books until after Christmas” states your assistant.

During this exchange you’re eyeing up this strange visitor trying to work him out; you’re curiosity is getting the better of you, and your beginning to wonder what kind of book he’s selling.

Once again your assistant takes up the initiative: “You could always leave a copy and I could show it the owner.” she says.

“Yeah sure, that would be lovely, I could call back in a week or so. The contact details in the appendix are current” On this, the man hands you his book.

You look at it and notice the names on the cover, you state: “So you’re Philip are you?”

Yes that’s right, the book’s self help, all about relationships, how to get the most from them, that kind of thing, take a look, see what you think. It’s a lost leader really as my long term intention is to run workshops; Partnership Workshops” asserts the man.

You have of course by now taken a dislike to this man, and so just before he leaves, having now thanked you for your time, you say: “we’ll leave it for now.” A parting shot to the back of his head. A ‘fuck you’ to the man who knows, he knows nothing.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

 

Front cover

We can only wonder if either of these people have chosen to take a look at Philips work. I suspect the younger of them has, or soon will, as she sounded much more genial and open. Having said this, it is wise to remember, all visitors to the store in question are just as likely to transfer negative beliefs and prejudice onto the shop assistants, as they are likely to transfer them onto the customers. On balance though, it is fair to say we humans are often able to pick up on unconscious communication – simply through a person’s attitude – as to whether someone has taken to us or not.

“It’s worth remembering that during every exchange with another human being, this is exactly what we all do, all of the time: make assumptions. Very few people actually know anything about the friend who relayed this story to me.”

In fact, when it comes down to it, very few people take any real interest in others and know much about them at all. We’re often locked into our own script simply waiting for our cue to begin talking about ourselves. If we do take the time to truly listen, to the stories of others, (I know only a few who do this) we might learn some interesting things. A book for example, may well be the result of a journey through a life filled with pleasure and pain; joy and sadness.

“It never ceases to surprise how our intentions may be kind and loving and yet construed as malicious, devious or scheming. How wrong we can be.”

On the one hand we have a bitter middle aged lady, who has a history of abusive, broken relationships; she’s unlikely to offer any kindness to the author of a self-help book: A book about the very thing that has caused her so much pain. She might have been thinking: How dare this man claim to know my pain. And she would think this because she knows nothing of his. She is blind to the pain of others.

And then on the other hand, we have the young assistant – who may even have a close affinity with her work colleague – yet still be open to change. She has youth on her side; hence the warmer attitude.

“The long and the short of it is, when meeting someone new, we must work hard to stop the assumptions from forming in our minds.”

As such, if you should ever meet a strange man in a bookshop – or workshop for that matter – who then hands you a book, be cautious not to simply dismiss it as another self-published vanity book. One of its pages may offer you a small, yet beautiful insight, into how to make the best of something important: Your life.

You’ll never know until you look.

 

In Response

In response to:

Amanda,

I’ve never actually read the bible (although I have heard it spouted by others). Drawing our attention back to this nonsense is, no doubt, something you believe to be of value. Of course I did have the choice, of whether to read this or not, yet you very cleverly trapped me by using the word ‘Enjoy.’ Well done. Excellent in fact.

“I wonder, have you ever noticed how so many poor cooks also dupe us into eating their rotten food. They exclaim the ‘Enjoy!’ Perhaps we should all be allowed to make up our own minds on that one.”

None of us move away from the bible’s backward ignorance as long as we’re reminded (helped to feel guilty) of how billions are still been hoodwinked into its doctrine.

I wait – in the hope that what you write next (about the Qu’ran or Hadith) will help us all move forward away from guilt and backward teachings.

Is it possible to write about religion, and its backward nature, without shaming billions of ignorant people? Shame, will never enlighten, it restricts. Alternatively, to love is to say: “I know you are foolish yet no less than I myself am, and because I love you, we can learn to accept our guilt and foolishness, so we may leave the past behind us and be free.”

Kindest regards,
Andrew Freedman א

Love is The Drug (most frightening of all)

 

Thankfully most of us stay well clear of the kind of drugs that’ll get us into trouble (either with the law or addiction and death). Most of us have been made sufficiently aware of the dangers, and so decline to play the game of Russian Roulette, with our lives. Thankfully most of us aren’t reckless enough to become addicts.

Although we may be fearful and wary of the dangers associated with drugs, we may step beyond this, and dabble from time to time. We may get drunk when out with friends, or perhaps overdo it a little at home alone, and because most of us are lucky and informed, we decline to go further. However, it’s not really about that though, is it?

Those of us who do go beyond a glass of wine with our meal, or a few pints out with our mates, tend to be of the damaged variety. In other words, those of us who have lots of guilt and unresolved issues, tend to use drugs as a form of escape. We need to change our consciousness so as to escape the guilt, shame and the pain. Of course, as is all too clear, all this does, is add to it; we know it, yet seem unable to stop.

Taking things to new heights is when the drink stops working and we need a new high, or low, as the case may be. Then we’re in real trouble. We’ve lost the fear completely and no longer care about how reckless we’re being with our lives. Nothing matters, except changing the consciousness we’ve grown to hate, into something much more preferable: oblivion.

It may seem a beautiful paradox (it terms of it being the most extreme example) that the greatest fear we may harbour is that of the most powerful drug of all. The drug that is life affirming. The drug that keeps the rest of us functioning. We have no fear of the drugs that will eventually kill us, or simply dumb down our lives, and yet we fear the drug that is free, and most plentiful of all. The drug of love.

The drug of love is not the feeling we get from infatuation. It’s not the feeling we get at the point of orgasm. Neither is it the feeling we get with that first kiss from someone we admired when a child. No, the feeling we get from the drug of love, is something entirely different. The thing is, many of us fear this feeling, and we fear it because we’ve never known it; we’ve never experimented with it. Because to allow ourselves to fall in love (with life) would mean we’d have to change what we’re currently doing. And that, is hard; very hard.  

“What most of us are currently doing is simply following a program. It’s a program that’s comfortable; that works, and is – most of the time – manageable; provided we have a few drugs that is.”

Now, what I’m suggesting, is we take a moment to really consider what love is. We know what recreational drugs (useful name?) do: they change how we feel; they change our consciousness. And so what about love, does that change our consciousness? Well, when we truly know what love is, it does. It changes our consciousness, in respect of it giving our lives, tremendous value. When you have love in your life there’s no way on earth you’d recklessly risk it.  

Fear, guilt and anger are the opposites of love and we use drugs in an attempt to rid ourselves of their unpleasantness. The only true antidote to these things is true love. It really is worth seriously considering if we’re getting it right – and getting the correct dosage – if we’re to make the most of our lives. I, for one, am hopelessly addicted.

workshops-logo

 

Cause and Effect (The Thinking Revolution)

Think
Think: Cause and Effect

It does seem a little strange, that my awareness at the moment, is drawn to people’s inability to consider cause and effect. The ability, to think before actions or words, by considering cause and effect, seems to be lacking.

“From youngsters experimenting with recreational drugs, to adults conversing with each other. Considered thought, in respect of cause and effect, would potentially either save a life, or a relationship, respectively.”

We might be tempted to say, considered thought, before taking an unknown drug at a festival for example, is to suggest we must be frightened of the potential effects. To this, I would say, yes, there are times when a little fear is of value. There are many people who would still be alive today, if a little fear over drugs, had been properly instilled into their minds when young.

On a personal level, if my authoritarian biological father, hadn’t instilled so much fear within me as a child, my ‘experimentation’ with recreational drugs, may well have put me in the graveyard with so many others. Never moving beyond mild drugs, because I was too frightened of the potential effects, was the result of a complex created by my father’s fear. Having said this though, authoritarian (fear) will never be the best method of helping our children live longer lives. We mustn’t fear for their lives as this can stifle them; authoritarian, can be extremely limiting.

And so cause-and-effect-thinking doesn’t always have to involve fear. The consideration: ‘if I do this I might fall and hurt myself’ is of course driven by the fear of imagined pain. However ‘if I do this I might experience something wonderful’ is how we overcome the fear. In this respect, it’s all about considering percentages and chance. In other words ‘If I do this what are the chances of success?’ If the chances of falling ill and dying from taking a recreational drug are high – because it’s unknown or from an uncertain source – then we must reject the potential of a pleasant experience.

When it really comes down to it, it’s all about thinking skills. Thinking skills that we must instill into the minds of our children. From the above examples, we can clearly see, it’s a fine line between the fear of a negative outcome, and the potential of there being a high-chance of a pleasant, life enhancing one.

Teach children how to think, not, what to think.

Are you ready for a life enhancing experience?

A Fabulous Time to Be Alive (The Thinking Revolution)

Thinking

“At times you may not think it, yet if we just take a moment (the time it takes to read a short blog to be exact) we will clearly see, that it really is a fabulous time to be alive, provided, we THINK so”

Thinking. We live in an age of discovery; a time of enthusiasm, with a growing hunger for knowledge, and answers to the big questions in life. In direct opposition to this, we have overly protective governments and the ‘bad news’ hungry media and it’s all too easy to become bogged down by the dependence they create, and negatives they spout, respectively. It would seem, the powers that be, are often looking to upset the important balance between the poles, of negative and positive.

Keeping our minds in the positive, enables us to remain enthusiastic and upbeat about our lives, and the lives of others. This doesn’t mean we become blinkered to all we know is wrong with the world, what it does mean, is we cease the influence of negativity.

“We have no need to get into conspiracy theories to understand how the media only survive through morbid curiosity, and indeed their uncanny ability, to actively foster it. Dwelling on the negative brings us down and keeps us afraid”

In addition to this, an overly protective government, creates a dependency, that quiet literally shortens our lives. We might ask: How is it the peoples of poorer nations – such as the Greeks – live longer lives than us? Finding the answer to this question involves THINKING.

It could be, that for you, confusion, and the ‘bad news’ media, are having a lasting effect, and the powers that be, are getting their way. This lasting effect could be blinding you to all the positive and extraordinary things that are currently happening in the world today. If this is the case, you must stop allowing yourselves, to be sucked in.

“With this said, we must acknowledge, taking direct action and control over our lives, often involves making some difficult decisions”

I recently heard it said, Personal Development is very 20th century and what people want now days, is augmentation. It’s easy to believe this assertion, as we humans do have that tendency, to take the easy options. Why do you think the drugs industry (legal or not) are doing so well? We just want the quick fix. Of course we do. We want the painless option, however, those who choose the quick fix of drugs, denial, or the refusal to move beyond ignorance, will fail to survive long term.

In fact, suffering, is the ultimate outcome of those who continue to seek the easy options all their lives. We all have to face the music some day, and so choosing the option of developing ourselves – mentally and physically – over continually seeking the easy fixes, is more likely to ensure the music we face in later life, is sweet, harmonious and melodic.

Remaining in charge, and powerful all our lives; minimising dependence and the indignity this can eventually bring, involves making the decision to get involved with the Thinking Revolution. The Thinking Revolution is only available to a select few though. It’s these select few, who truly understand what a magical time, we really do live in.

The alternative – of augmentation – is looking to remove the thinking part necessary for improving lives. Without thinking; without cognitive development, none of us are going to survive long term. It seems that it’s quite okay for certain sections of society to become non-thinking automatons.

“The elite need us to remain unthinking, because when we fail to think, we become powerless.”

No drug, or any kind of augmentation, will empower you to think yourself better; to think yourself into freedom, all they’ll do, is continue to diminish your power and increase your dependence on the system.

Consider what you truly know about the workings of your own mind. Do you understand how it is you do the things you do? You may believe you have no interest in these matters, and yet, it’s freeing yourself of this very belief, that will enable you to take control over your life and destiny.

Believe it or not, freeing yourself of negative beliefs, is a lot easier than you might expect. You may have been told differently. You may have been told not to dabble in matters of the mind, however, we can tell you: at this moment in time, it’s those who understand how their minds work, that have power over you, right now. The Thinking Revolution will hand this power back.

Ask yourself this question: Do you want augmentation or a better brain? Augmentation won’t get you comfortably through the entirety of your life, but a smarter brain, with improved cognition will.