Maturity: Something people want or something they need?

Iron and vitamins or sugar? Your choice.

“It’s a bit like offering a child the choice between candy or sprouts. The adults know which one carries the iron and vitamins, and yet, if we were to ask the child, which one they want, we can all guess at the negative outcome.”

In the same light, if my intentions were incorrectly motivated, I could very easily tie my choices down here. When maintaining a blog, if the intention (unconscious or not) is to stroke the ego, through gaining more followers, I’m helping no one. At the same time as restricting myself,  through  looking to please people by stroking their ego’s (surely a kind of mutual masturbation) I’d also be restricting those I’m writing for. If you have something useful to say, stop pandering to the egos and/or your own loneliness. If you are you’ll be doing everyone a disservice.

When we think of the distinction between childhood and adulthood, the truly grown are those who have a mature sense of self. I’ve met adults who’ve never grown beyond a certain point in their maturation. This is simply because they’ve never been shown any advantage to becoming grown.

“When the child isn’t made aware of the reason, why sprouts must become their food of choice, they’ll continue choosing the sugar alternative into adulthood. They’ll potentially continue with this until diabetes catches up with them. It’s the same with alcohol and smoking, we’ll stick with the things of adolescence, as long as we remain there emotionally. For some, this will be the case, all their short lives.”

Of course there can be many other reasons why adults remain as children. Unconsciously hankering for care and attention – missing from childhood – is a major contributor to this phenomena. Extreme trauma is further example: The mind, in an attempt to defend and repair itself, can often be reluctant to move beyond extreme trauma and the associated emotions. Think PTSD.

“Headed in a slightly different direction, I also think the point about our level of independence, being a kind of marker for how mature we are, is very relevant. The level of independence we’ve achieved, clearly marks out our level of fearlessness, and courage.”

Something to consider, in this respect, is our hunter gatherer ancestors. As a result of the melting of glaciers, there’s now evidence to show, solo hunters existed and survived just as well as those who lived within tribes. Human remains, dated to be thousands of years old, have been found at the heads of receding glaciers. The shoes, mittens, clothes, weapons and walking sticks, found with these ancient finds, has been suggestive of people travelling alone. Is it perhaps the case, that solo hunter gatherers, were braver and stronger, than those in constant need of others? Was the solo hunter potentially more adaptable, more mature, and consequently less fearful?

“We can only speculate on these things, however, it’s a certain fact, those who have a high level of independence, along with a courageous and adventurous spirit, live freer more fulfilling lives. To suggest, this is something only modern man has achieved, is absurd.”

There’s no doubt, if whatever you’re doing is only done to gain more friends and followers, the content of your posts, or other creative work, will reflect this. Alternatively, if you’re writing from an adult perspective, you’ll be doing this with the intention to empower.

You might now ask what is the motivation? and the answer is of course, love. No adult will ever be empowered trough being spoken to as if they were a child. Why do you thing religious leaders are constantly tempted to call their followers children? Because they’re all children of God? Or is it more likely they need to keep them stuck in childhood (with all the disability this brings) by talking to them as if we still were?

“Whilst we remain as children – and they as the adults – we continue to give our power away. Stop talking to your audience as if they’re children and potentially you’ll gain the attention of adults followers. They’re the kind of friends I prefer.”

Those who have the courage to read something, that create thoughts directly opposed to the thoughts and opinions of the masses, are the ones who follow the solo hunter. Not because they want to be members of a tribe, they do it because they want to see and experience the freedom, maturity brings.