The Self-Help Phenomenon


The self-help phenomenon was kicked off by a gentleman called Samuel Smiles, and it still stands to reason today; if you want to change your world (the world), it starts with you.

“It’s a tangled web that we humans weave”

In the struggle for power and dominance we’re told what to do, when to do it and how. The power of the individual is even being questioned by some intellectuals (never trust a man in a bow tie). Individuality is being blamed for the breakdown of society. Those who think this are victims to their fear of being alone. They fear their loss of power over others.

When we really consider the power of individuality we clearly see that this is in no way to blame for society’s problems. Indeed taking responsibility for oneself, and then living by this example, helps us all and repairs the broken bonds of society. It all depends on how you look at it.

If, for example, we mix up individuality with self-centeredness, confusion starts. When we teach the importance of being an individual, along with the togetherness of our humanity, all is well. Individuality is not at the expense of others and society, in its true sense, when you’re okay, everyone is okay.  Living by the example, of taking full responsibility for ourselves, especially when the driver for this is compassion and love, a beautiful bond is created.

“Self-help achieves this, not through being self-centered – which is the concern only for the self – but through consideration and concern for the world and everything in it”

We can’t have true self-help if we somehow think we’re better or superior to anyone else. In fact our need to improve our-selves is a reflection of concern for the wellbeing of everyone else. More human than human is when we see the inescapable bonds of our humanity and recognise our equalness.

Rich and famous or poor and unknown, we’re all equal. Royalty or factory worker we’re all equal. It’s only the beliefs that we’re better or worse that separate us. Being born into royalty no doubt creates a separateness. For example, Prince Harry believes the royal family is a “force for good.” Does this mean that many others are a force for bad?

What if you’re underprivileged and born into disadvantage? Does this make you a force for good or bad? Breaking from the bonds of the expectations, underprivileged and disadvantaged create, surely makes you neither. It just makes you wise.

If prince Harry were correct in his belief, we can only wonder why he, and the royal family as a whole, don’t take it upon themselves to step down off their royal pedestals. What stops them from dismantling the whole concept of royalty. For prince harry to be correct he’d need to recognise how the whole concept of royalty does more damage than good. We can’t escape how the word royalty is synonymous with ‘better.’

Religious leaders are no different. They hold delusional beliefs that suit their need for higher status in life (can you get any higher than working for God?). The only status we really need is that of recognition of our equalness. You and I are equal. If we all saw this through raising our awareness with self-help, well, what can I say?

“The tangled web is the need for power, control and dominance; most of which, are driven by fear”

Imagine being a King, Queen or Prince that suddenly decided to separate themselves from their warm cushion of royalty. That would take some courage now wouldn’t it? I don’t see that courage in royalty just yet, however, I do see it in those who wake everyday to disadvantage.

Remember: it’s those who break from being disadvantaged and underprivileged that are the true courageous. They don’t do this through fear or delusion, they do this through belief in their humanity, and concern for the self of everyone. You’ll not properly succeed at self-help without it.

Ultimately, once we have the ‘I’m okay you’re okay’ mentioned early, we’re able to be accepting; even of those who delude themselves into thinking they’re better than us. I’m okay you’re okay is the ability to accept the delusions of others. What this doesn’t do though, is make delusion correct. A delusion will always have been created as a form of escape from reality. The reality is, you and I are exactly equal in our humanity, and it’s the acceptance of the good and bad within us all, that makes it so.    

Untangle your web.