“Why do we reject the good souls? Do we feel threatened by them, and if so, why? What exactly do we have to fear?”
Many are very suspicious of people who wish us well; those who want the best for us. Many people who are in desperate need of assistance, or guidance of some sort, will reject that hand up; that gentle word of advice. They will reject the good souls.
In some respects, this must come down to our fear, of the unknown. If we’ve never been shown genuine compassion, love and concern, then how can we possibly accept it for what it is? People, who’ve spent their entire lives just surviving and getting by, will reject love. Those who’ve had to cope with the abuse and disdain, we humans inflict on one another, will obviously reject that hand up. If we do take that hand, who’s to know, what we’re likely to find? Something worse than we already know?
Often the used and abused will take assistance offered, only to find a worse horror, than the one they knew before. Better the devil you know and all that. So what is the answer? How can we get through to the damaged souls who reject genuine compassion and empowering love?
“The word that comes to mind is gently”
A gentle truth is what many of us require. The truth that someone, who might simply asks them how they are, or wish them good luck, is genuinely asking after their wellbeing. A good soul enquiring for some love. A love not many are able, or willing to give, an enquiring soul.
Pride is one thing that can stands in the way. Pride, standing there with its arms folded, defensive and cold. A young man will often see an older one as a threat, not as potential for guidance, and betterment. A damaged person may only have his pride left, after everything else, has been stripped from him. Dignity disappears when we’re abused as children, as does much of our power. We may find strength in pride. We may feel powerful when we reject all and everyone from our lives. It matters not, whether they’re good or bad, pride pushes them all away.
I’ve learnt, the only way to deal with this, is to actually see what their rejection is: fear. There is a fear that the last thing they have; that last thing that’s kept them alive, together and helped them make it through, will be taken from them: their pride. What must those in need of assistance do in order to swallow their pride and listen?
“They need to believe”
Yes, on this occasion, it can be that simple. When we’re able to instill the belief, that there is actually something available to lift a damaged person, we’re halfway there. The way we do this, is to educate the individual as to the true nature of that assistance. We need to make them aware, of the two way street they’re embarking on, by accepting our help.
You see, when we offer help to another human being, especially one whose likely to reject us, we must make them aware of how offering assistance is about a selfish empowerment. Offering help will always be a ‘you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’ situation. When we share this truth help is more likely accepted.
Help, is more likely accepted, when we realise we mustn’t threaten the survival of a damaged individual, through threatening to take their pride. The last remaining stronghold of defence: pride. In fact, when we offer the truth of our selfishness, we help people retain it.
“We never offer someone help when our unconscious intention is to take their power. This is so often the case”
When we offer advice, or help of any nature, it can often be spotted as a hidden means of empowering ourselves. This is when the damaged will reject us. Giving up a little of our power is when we truly help. We do this by offering the truth. We do this by showing humility.
Just the other day, I offered someone a good luck sentiment who was trying to give up smoking, and the response was this: “well yes, I’m just trying not to think about it.” A rejection of a good luck wish. Hindsight has offered me the realisation of what would have been a better strategy: to take a deep breath, look him the eyes, and say nothing. Simple, when you think of it.
So the next time you feel rejected, even when your intentions felt honourable, be sure to recognise what your unconscious intentions might have been. Those in need are used to being very, very perceptive, of the human condition, and its darker side.
“We uncover our unconscious intentions when we see the truth”
Here it is: There is no such thing as a selfless act. None at all. When we make it clear, that we understand the two way street, of any act, we discharge suspicion from the damaged soul.
We must ask: in what way do I empower myself through offering my time and attention? We must then offer this truth. Understand: when we humbly give a little of our power away – by expressing truth through our humility – we will ultimately regain it twofold. We always regain power given away. When we look to take another’s power, we must continue to do so, with all those we meet. A vicious cycle many people are engaged in. We only need look at what’s happening in the world today. People in power seeking to take it from others. Rejection all around.