Find the Peace Within Yourself – Retrospection

“It might seem very simplistic, and perhaps a little clichéd to say: we create a peaceful world once we find peace within ourselves. Even so, what if this were true?”

What exactly do we have to lose through seeking this peace from within? If our world becomes peaceful as a result, we’ll all be grateful for the effort and if nothing happens, there’s nothing’s lost.

If we were to follow some eastern teachings about finding peace within, we’d be told that using the word effort, is wrong. We’d be led into a world of symbolism, metaphor and double speak, sufficient to confuse the hell out of us, and into throwing the book away. We’d sink back into our funk, confusion and depression, before we could even say the word taofuck. So let’s establish some facts to begin with. If you want to find peace, wellbeing and happiness, you will need to put some effort in.

We certainly don’t advocate the worlds belief: no pain no gain, as this would tie us up, with employing the methods used by the majority. You know the kind of thing: Keep busy, stiff-upper-lip, pills, alcohol, sex, doctors, money, consumerism, you name it, all the western world solutions, to tie us up in knots.

“So when we talk of effort, we’re referring to the effort involved, with being retrospective. The effort it takes to examine the root to our discomfort and unease”

My background is Analytical Hypnotherapy. As a result, I’ve come to understand, it’s the examination of memories from early experiences, that enable us to take charge of any negative influence they may still hold over us.

There’s no denying it’s only the courageous who’re prepared to undergo this kind of analysis. Over the years spent as an analyst, I met many courageous souls, who’d reached a point in their lives, where time in my chair had become a necessity. I’m by no means suggesting we all do that, what I am suggesting though, is we should all take a leaf out of their book. Retrospection is the way and means to break free from the negative influences of the past.

As example let’s look again at depression. We read about the early demise of celebrities who’ve spent a lifetime struggling with depression. It’s my view, and that of my colleagues, that this kind of depression is borne from a fruitless search. As you will have experienced this yourself, think back to searching for a lost item; perhaps it’s keys, purse or wallet. When we’re unable to find a desperately needed item, we become frustrated, and eventually downhearted.

Now imagine when this search is for something metaphysical. Imagine when this search is for love. Potentially, it could be a love we’ve never experienced, but longed for all our lives. Through whatever means we just can’t find it. There’s no satisfaction. We’ve tried everything: dozens of relationships, sex, drugs, consumerism. . . yep you’ve guessed it, all the things we’re told to believe make us happy, complete and well.

“When the search is for a love we’ve never know, all we find, is frustration leading to depression. Until the next time that is. The pattern and process just begins again. And we wonder why depression comes and goes”

The solution is to cease the external search. We must stop looking to find some kind of satisfaction through external means. The answer really does lie within. What if the presenters, actors, actresses or pop stars, stopped seeking love, through the adoration fame brings? Would this mean we’d have less artistic excellence? I doubt it. Potentially our artistic excellence would be recognised for having a very different nature. Not through the work of tortured souls, but from peaceful souls who’ve found what the answer is. A true acceptance of a self created through retrospection.

The cure to loneliness will never be recognition from others, just as the search for love outside of ourselves, will always prove fruitless. Those things you love about others are within you too. Retrospection might just help you know.

Listen and I Hear You

“What qualities do we need in order to really listen?”

What is it that makes a good listener? Is it the case, that it’s only those who actually want to be heard, that are? Is it not so much about people listening, but more about our ability, to command the ear?

We’ve all had times when we’ve been talking and known we’re not being heard. I can tell you from experience, being heard, for what we’re really saying, is an absolute rarity. It’s those who’re able to hear the underlying, unconscious messages in our language, who’re the true listeners.

“Perhaps what needs to happen, is the words being spoken, must be considered by the listener to have value”

If we don’t rate the person speaking, as having anything of value to add to our lives, will we ever listen? Do we value ourselves enough to listen? Sometimes, when our self-esteem is low, we feel threatened by those who have something valuable to say. On these occasions we simply block out what’s being said.

It is of course important we have good rapport with those we want to get a message to. Talking about those things that are of a common interest, to both talker and listener, is one of those key ingredients for good conversation. In fact, not saying much at all, and simply allowing others to talk about what interests them, can be sufficient.

Pacing and leading is the method we must use to get our own message across. We listen intently and match the speed, cadence and tonality (even accent) of the other voices. We then look to gently lead the conversation onto topics that relate to our message and our interests.

One very useful consideration at this point, is to be aware of how the filtering systems of our beliefs, effect the listener and what they actually hear. Perhaps you can relate to how sometimes you’ve said something and the listener has completely misconstrued what you’ve said. This is the filtering mechanism of the mind and its beliefs at work.

“If we have poor understanding of what’s being said, we may compensate for this, by responding through the filters of what we do understand or believe”

This goes some way to explaining why, a lot of the time, it’s pretty much a waste of time looking to change someones mind about an issue they resolutely believe in. Unless we begin, by explaining the value in questioning what they believe, we’ll have little chance of changing it.

Finally, listening is also about attention. Gaining a persons attention, so as we may pull them of the track of their own thoughts, if only for a moment, is key. Many people spend a great deal of time lost in their own thoughts. So lost in this way are some, that speaking their name, or even gently touching their arm, will be necessary to gain their attention. Gentleness is also often overlooked.

“It’s worth bearing in mind, if you want to be heard, you must be prepared to listen. If you’re not really listening, how can you expect others, to give you their attention?”

We’re all shouting at each other really, and often it’s those who speak in mild, gentle tones, who speak the loudest. The key, is gaining the listeners attention, in the first place. What needs to happen for someone to gain your full attention? What is your passion? What is really being said here? What are people really seeking when talking to you? Do you value yourself enough to give them your time and full attention?

Are you able to see and feel what someone is saying? Now you’ve cracked it. Rare is it not? Be cautious though, it’s very tiring.

Personal Development – The Rise of Emotional Maturity

“The majority of us have something specific we want to be good at. This, of course, is where the personal element of Personal Development comes into play”

Let’s say your goal was Emotional Maturity. It’s certainly a grand goal to have, and one that benefits not only the individual, but society as a whole. Becoming emotionally mature assists your life and the lives of many. Just being around someone who has this development in mind is a refreshing and beneficial place to be.

From our standpoint, emotional maturity, is based on wholeness. Wholeness is achieved through raised awareness of the self and drivings. Emotional maturity has been achieved, when our drivings become less self-centered, and more concerned with the greater good. This is a fabulous marker for recognising our own maturity. What are your true motivations?  

“Setting great examples to those around us is also an indication of our emotional maturity”

There is so much we can do, that sets great example, to demonstrate this. Take for example picking up rubbish from the streets. If we do this angrily, looking to shame the litter bugs, it defeats the objective. Alternatively, picking up after others, then calmly placing it in bins, sets good example. We’re able to do this when guided by a maturity that understands this kind of behaviour also gets noticed. And better still, it gets noticed, in a positive light. It’s setting this type of good example that makes the difference to those who are less mature than ourselves. They need our positive influence.

To continue with the emotion of anger, as example for a moment, we can know that becoming angry, through the inconsiderate and unthinking behaviour of others, is only useful when directed in a constructive way. It’s only when we direct our annoyance – away from the unthinking child – but at the root of the problem (immature parenting) will we effect change. Emotional maturity dictates we do this, not by shouting and blaming, but through understanding.

To explain further, let’s bring things down another level: What is at the root of immature parenting? Statistics give us a clue to this. Birth rates amongst the poorest in society are on the rise. Why is this? The belief that lack of money equals lack of opportunity may well have a bearing on this. An unthinking attitude to life – only barely self-aware, and as such subservient to our instinctive drivings – obviously limits our options and opportunities.

“It’s not the amount of money we have that dictates this, it’s whether or not we’re able to see the alternatives, through being shown good example”

It is possible to live a full, creative and happy life, without being wealthy? Indeed it is, and all we need now, are more people setting good example of how this is done. Emotional maturity is the start and a prerequisite to all of the above.   

The Only Game to Play

king and queen

The first thing we must understand is how we’re currently all being played. It really doesn’t matter what’s being presented to us through the media, all we need know, is its nature: Gameplay.

If we look at the big picture, in terms of migration and the displacement of millions of people from war torn countries, this picture helps us understand how leaders are playing on the world stage.

For example, if a chemical attack were staged, what would this kind of plant serve? Would staging chemical attacks, give world leaders reason enough to get involved with a civil war, that’s raging out of control?

Is world war – all be it a proxy war in Syria – something human minds crave for? Humans enjoy fighting. Gameplay leads to an inevitable scrap. In fact, gameplay, is often the precursor, to a full blown ‘gloves off’ fight, on any playground.

“With all this said, let’s bring it all back down to earth again and talk about the individual”

From recent experience I fully understand the power of the majority view. Even if this view is at opposite ends of the scale. This scale could range from lackadaisical to warmongering, or passionate to indifferent, and it would still infect us all, when expressed by a majority. The majority view is very powerful yet not necessarily correct.

“Think about the majority view on alcohol. It was once believed, a small amount of piss was good for us, now we understand this to be bunkum”

The ability to set ourselves – above the game-view of the majority – is gained when we embrace our true individuality. In order to achieve this, it’s tempting to imagine this individuality, as superior in some way. All we’re likely to get through this attitude though, is membership to another majority group; and a very unpleasant one at that! Pointless. So no, separating ourselves from the majority, through believing in superiority, is counterproductive.

“We rise above the majority by embracing our individuality and changing the direction of our thinking” 

By being clear in our minds about what our purpose and direction is, and having this as our motivation, we raise our game; not through thinking we’re somehow superior, but through being led by cleverness. There’s no cleverness in thinking we’re superior. There is cleverness in believing our driving is one of compassion and love. With this understanding in place, the only game we need play, is one driven by the positive emotions they create.

It’s clearly stated in the rules of this game, if we want love for ourselves, the world and others, we must look to teach: – ‘those things we understand that others presently don’t.’ In other words, once we understand what the cleverness of love would do about war, we must then teach others about this.

And so:

What would love do about war? Would love find a peaceful resolution by making a smart move within the world-game? And if so, what can you, as the individual, do about this? Perhaps, all you’d need, is an understanding of the nature of the games we all play.

We can help you with that.        

When Poison is The Weapon of Choice

“We know the vast majority of people reading this blog are law abiding, loving citizens, and so the following thought experiment, is highly speculative and hypothetical”

Let’s say you wanted someone dead. That’s right, your mind is made up, and the only resolution to the issue is murder.

Oh yes, the ‘red mist’ has descended, and in our private thoughts we harbour murderous intentions. Thankfully these kind of thoughts rarely take the step from fantasy to reality. They’re usually very fleeting; not sustained enough to cause us, or the recipient of our thoughts, any harm at all.

So, hypothetically speaking, let’s say, on this occasion, the red mist hasn’t dissipated, and you’ve decided on murder. After some further thought you’ve also decided on the means: Poison. Yes indeed, poison is the weapon of choice.

There are many, many ways to take a life; dozens of ways we can inflict harm on another human being, and yet, poison has been chosen. Before we actually carry out our murderous intentions though, let’s just take a moment to examine exactly why this method.

It could simply be down to convenience, ease of use, or, as is most likely, it’s the delay before it takes effect that’s important. This time delay gives you, the perpetrator, time to escape after the trap has been laid. A bomb with a time delay would have the same effect, but this of course, would be extremely indiscriminate. Okay, if you’re a terrorist with indiscriminate killing, in mind. Our intention though, is to just kill one or two people.

“Also, let’s think about the nature of poison, and how it does its job. Once administered, what exactly are we thinking, and what does this say about us?”

In other words, what is the psychology, behind our choice of weapon? Everything we say and do to others is a clear indication of our true nature. If we stuck a knife in someone, for example, it’s potentially our anger that’s driven such a violent act. We’re more likely to be young and angry when using a knife.

The use of poison would suggest a more scheming, calmer, use of planning. Sure, anger may be at the seat of the driving, and yet we’re not so clouded by it, that we blindly lash out. We’re planning and scheming. We don’t want to get found out. We don’t want the weapon to be traced back to us in any way. Or if we do, it’s deliberate, and doubt can be cast on whether its origin, can really be authenticated.

“Perhaps we want to instil doubt and fear at the same time. The long game may be our intention. Disruption, of entire countries, might be our long term goal. We understand how to divide and conquer”

All things said, calculated acts of murder, are committed by those whose brains are unable to see peaceful paths. Revenge is driven by an inability to control emotions. We’re stuck with angry feelings that we believe can only be resolved through re-inflicting the hurt and harm we feel we’ve suffered.

When our power and control is threatened we commit murder. If someone is seen to have sold us out, so to speak, we must seek revenge or lose face. Those who give our secrets away are seen as traitors who must be destroyed. History is full of people who’ve been murdered simply because they’ve told the truth; revealed secrets. The secrets we all have. The lies we all hide behind.

“Words can be used as poison”

There are numerous cases of domestic abuse, where someone has taken their own life, as a result of being ground down, through years of verbal abuse from a partner. Tell someone they’re worthless, useless or hopeless for long enough, and eventually, they’ll believe it. Imagine the damage words of this nature do to the self-esteem of children. Either directly or when in earshot of parents arguing.

Poison has to be the most cruel and calculating way anyone can take another’s life. Those who use poison, be it through words or chemicals, are the worst kind of human. The worst kind, because this poison, is only an extension of what already exist within themselves: Hatred, cowardice and fear. Frightened, scheming cowards, use poison. We must be very wary.  Wary and aware of what does not exist within the mind of the poisoner too.

The Company of Friends

“His name is Kelly, a young warrior for sure”

He’s sixteen, more mobile now he owns a moped. His girlfriend is called Vanessa, certainly a beautiful butterfly, in his eyes that is; he loves her dearly.

It’s mainly bravado with Kelly, but isn’t that how it is for most sixteen year olds. They know it all, and we know how much we don’t. He jumps right in and calls me ‘big fella.’

“And how are you this morning big fella?” he’ll say.

Kelly complains about his stepfather, who tells him not to spend his money, but to save for a bigger motorcycle instead. I asked him:

‘So what’s so wrong with that?”

“Sounds like a good idea to me” Stepfathers have their uses.

Kelly tells me he wants to pass his driving test and buy a car, “better job prospects” and all that. I read between the lines, of how a girlfriend he loves so dearly, feels about the whole affair.

The stepfather is quite canny because he knows Kelly won’t be told right out. He won’t be told:

“Stop spending your money on that little girl who has none of her own, it’s not your responsibility, her happiness you know.”

He’s sixteen and romantic you see, although there’s being romantic and there’s being foolhardy. Closely related perhaps.

On one level, it may well be, stepfather knows the job young Kelly took on when he wasn’t around. Young Kelly the warrior. Um… yes, that job of keeping mummy happy. The one so many young boys, with only their mummy’s to care for, take on.

He sees it within his stepson; how he cares for young, and moody Vanessa.

“She seems a bit moody and sullen that girl” he’d say to Kelly’s mum. “Nah she’s just young” she replies.

“Young or not, it’s what she is: A player with the warriors emotions”

A warrior cannot fight the game of life for long, or to the best of his ability, when taking responsibility for the happiness of two. Vanessa must learn, or find out the hard way, because her boyfriend is now in The Company of Friends.

The Company of Friends is an organisation with a mission to enlighten. They’re clandestine, all seeing, and wise. They understand the importance of being self-assured, as our young warrior would seem. The truth of self-assured though, is to be self-aware, something you can be, no matter the age. We wonder what would happen if someone said to Vanessa: “The reason you’re grumpy is because it gets you attention, and nothing other than that, my dear.” Would she learn to be happy, to make herself that way?

“An example of where age, or time served, does not equate to experience”

Also, they’re very clever at spotting bravado; as the young warrior must display. Very clever at spotting the takers in life too. Those looking for an easy ride. Ultimately, there is no such thing, but people will feed their nonsense illusions, will they not?

There is no confusion. Love sets you free. Kelly is not in love, he’s just found someone new (now mother is taken care of) to absorb the belief in his role: to make others happy. An impossible task that will in time bring him to his knees.

Take responsibility for yourselves peeps, there is no one else going to do it for you, least not a child. Least not our warrior, who’s now, in The Company of Friends.  

  

COMPANY OF FRIENDS

When I die, let them judge me by my company of friends
Let them know me as the footprints that I left upon the sand
Let them laugh for all the laughter
Let them cry for laughter’s end
But when I die, let them judge me by my company of friends

When I die, let them toast to all the things that I believe
Let them raise a glass to consciousness
And not spill a drop for grief
Let the bubbles rise at midnight
Let their tongues get light as thieves
And when I die, let them toast to all the things that I believe

I believe in restless hunger
I believe in red balloons
I believe in private thunder
In the end I do believe

I believe in inspiration
I believe in lightning bugs
I believe in slow creation
In the end I do believe

I believe in ink on paper
I believe in lips on ears
I believe what’s shared is savored
In the end I do believe

I believe in work on Sundays
I believe in raising barns
I believe in wasting Mondays
In the end I do believe

I believe in intuition
I believe in being wrong
I believe in contradiction
In the end I do believe

I believe in living smitten
I believe all hearts will mend
I believe our book is written
By our company of friends

Copyright 2007. Words and music by Danny Schmidt.

Mulligatawny Soup

“The Mulligatawny is now an endangered species”

During the alien war of 1789 the Mulligatawny were cruelly hunted down, quite literally, in their dozens. It was believed, eating a dose of Mulligatawny, would easily give you the strength and courage to fight off these alien invaders. This belief, as we well know, was to no avail. The aliens won.

“A warrior cast alien life form, that travelled an unimaginable distance across the universe, now living quite harmlessly, in the gut of the elite human animal”

Even though the aliens won the war of 1789 it is understood that on eating pigs arse (sausages) the alien gut dwellers were, until recently, being kept calm and well fed. With modern day working conditions being as they are though, the craft of ‘sausage-knotting’ (famously the late Ken Dodd worked as one in his youth) has become almost as extinct as the Mulligatawny itself. All of this has led to a marked reduction in the ingestion of pigs arse by the human elite. The knock on effect being, the alien gut dweller, has begun to change in form.

“As a result of sampling the effluent, in the sewers of large cities, it’s understood the aliens have started leaving their human hosts to become a much more social animal. These new evolved life forms can be found inhabiting the sewers in large communities we now call ‘fatbergs.’”

– Spokesman for Water and Sewerage Services London

“Fatbergs are large alien communities”

When left unchecked, these communities have grown so large, they’ve been found blocking the sewerage systems in affluent districts such as Chelsea, west London. Fairly recently, one of these fatberg-communities, was estimated to weigh in at over ten tons. It’s reported, in order to break up this newly evolved community, tools, such as spades and high pressure water jets have been utilised. Much of the fatberg breaking up and splashing back into the faces of vomiting council workers. Latest reports indicate many of the alien life forms are now evenly distributed throughout the English Channel. Crisis averted. 

We must now ask: will the Mulligatawny ever make it? It would seem the only negative outcome – from the alien invasion of 1789 – has been the near demise of this much maligned and misunderstood animal.

Small, with very short red hair, the Mulligatawny, when cooked, is said to have a fairly mild flavour to begin with, building to quite a spicy kick, with a strong bitter aftertaste. The natives, who originally trapped the animal, are said to have left it to ‘cure’ for so long, that when a soup was made of the meat, the maggots would have been included. All adding to the power and nutritional value of this unusual recipe.

“It’s little understood why or where the belief originated that eating Mulligatawny helps fight off alien invaders”

After all, the tiny spacecrafts they arrived in, looked no more threatening than the popular micro drones often gifted to children at Christmas time. That said, even the bath toys children of the elite in Chelsea play with, have been found to contain more bacteria, than the average splashback from a power washed fatberg. Perhaps we should never always assume a toy to be a harmless plaything?

It remains to say, no matter the privilege, money or favour, there’s no escaping the realities of life: The Mulligatawny is endangered and alien invaders – for the time being at least – are easily defeated. It’s also worth pointing out, no matter what you believe, the world will keep spinning, micro drones will keep flying, and rubber ducks will stay floating. Remember: Retain a sense of perspective, and keep a good measure of humour – in all aspects of life – no matter the news.

What If Reality Were Better Than Fiction?

“At the time of writing the Harry Potter books, if JK Rowling had thought her reality, better than fiction, she’d never have put pen to paper”

Rowling’s reality, at the time of writing Harry Potter, was, as we’re led to believe, horrible. As she put it herself: “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

We all, from time to time, feel the need to escape into a fictional world. It’s unfortunate we can’t all be like Rowling, and make a fortune from the fictional worlds we create, yet the escape we find, can be a useful rest from a horrible reality. At least for a while that is.

“It’s important to be aware of the methods we use to escape reality. You might think it’s only when we’re daydreaming or reading a book. It is not. We humans have developed many means of escape”

The problem with fiction is, we do eventually need to sober up and drag ourselves back, from that comfortable place. We can’t fully function in the real world if we don’t. Returning from fiction, can be a difficult transition though, especially if we’re addicted to its powerful allure.

This said, there are those individuals, who seem able to spend their entire lives dressing as fairies, talking childish nonsense and generally behaving, as if the world was some kind of magical wonderland. In fiction it is. When we’re under the influence it is. In reality, the world, whether we like it or not, is anything but.

On a personal level, I struggle to see the benefit of maintaining a fictional reality, when there are so many truly, meaningful things, that can be done in the real world today.

Yes, by all means write fiction for children – they need it to stimulate their imaginative minds – however, for the adults, our reality must be seen for what it is. Once we do this we desire improvement. We see the world for what it truly is.

“Now, there are those of you who say: the world is beautiful. I would agree. What isn’t so beautiful though, is how we’re treating it, and each other”

Harry Potter isn’t going to stop wars, prevent psychopaths becoming world leaders, or use his magic wand to clean up the oceans anytime soon. In the direct sense neither am I, yet it may well be, that somewhere along the line, others also wake to the true realities of the world, and begin to care. The domino effect dictates this. The connectedness of everything dictates this. It just needs to start somewhere.

Once empowered by love we become courageous. When we’re courageous, we stop escaping into fictional worlds. When strong we begin to see, if we remain in an imaginary world, created through denial and ignorance, we have no chance of improvement whatsoever. Wake and see what’s really going on.

Let’s grow and make our reality better than fiction. Contact us.