To Right The Wrong

He woke from the dream. A terrible night. In his dream people died, the oceans were full of plastic, and men shot rhino’s to cut off their horns. In his dreams people possessed each other. They owned each other. He saw it clearly: a woman wearing cloth over her face, as a man punched a fist into the air, the other hand holding a rifle. Just before waking, he’d been curled into a ball, hands protecting his face, as they’d beat and kicked him. He’d woken with a headache. Invalidated once again.

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The people didn’t want him to right the wrongs it would seem. He was on his own again in this battlefield of games. The love holding him down, never setting him free. Their denial and confusion so pervasive.

Each morning, after waking from his dreams, he’d enter a world much worse. The dreams were nightmares for sure, and yet the real world, was no relief at all.

‘You’re just being maudlin again’ he reminded himself as he prepared for the day ahead.

He knew not to turn on the news, he knew the ‘hearing devices’ weren’t working. They weren’t making it sound any better. The mad hysteria and manic behaviour of the children he noticed, didn’t get any clearer with his ‘ears in,’ it just made it all the more obvious how insane they’d all become.

Men in their thirties and women in their fifties acting like they were five. He’d had more stimulation from the mind of a five year old. A five year old that wasn’t afraid that is. He enjoyed the will of this child as he understood its need. With a handicap – as such – of being young, naive and small, children’s compensatory-will was a beauty to behold and encourage.

When the adults played the same way it made him want to weep.  

The fear comes later you see. The pressure to conform, to work, to pay bills, to spend their lives doing what they hate; drinking to numb the horror of their wasted lives. A lifetime as a child.

‘That’s better!’ they’ll say, with a smack of the lips.

We all know what to do though: consume, consume, consume. There’s no one to show us how to be grown anymore. Those in charge are as the child. Juvenile leaders of the world. Just remember:

“My buttons bigger than yours”

“You cannot have if you do not pray”

There were those who thought relief for this man would come in death.

Running into the thunderstorm, powder washed from his face. So many think suicide a painless release from this waking hell. Though suicide would only add to the confusion, pain and guilt, of those left behind. Trapped. Trapped for now.

Besides, he knew all this suffering and violence, couldn’t be real, could it? He knew the troubles of the world couldn’t be as his dreams showed him, could they? He knew that humans couldn’t be so unaware, are they? So unaware of punching and kicking him everyday. He’d curl up in a ball, protecting his face, and die one day he knew.  

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As night time comes around, the nightmares are here; headaches the following morning. Invalidating his illusions yet again.

The punches and kicks may be silent in dreams my friends, but they hurt, just the same.

Pegasus Brought Down By a Bird

“It true to say it’s often the little things that can defeat the mighty and powerful”

The elitist with their superior intellect, vast wealth and cunning ways, are often exposed by the detail. Small, simple understandings, shared by those with good intentions, will often bring down the exploitative takers.

Consider the inequality of sexism, still so prevalent, in the world today. So ingrained into society is this, that it seems an almost insurmountable task to change it. Although it may seem this way, steadily, over time, it is changing. Exposing the detail is key. Transparency paramount.

Take intellectual elitism. If we want our children to do well in life we send them to schools and academies. We seek out the best of these and hope for college or university later on. After all, the best jobs are reserved for those who’ve proved themselves worthy, through gaining good qualifications.

“Although we see the sense in further education, this doesn’t automatically mean, we must also gain a superior attitude.” 

Further to this, we might want to compare an educated man, to someone who has no academic qualifications at all. A man who lives in a beautiful part of the world, earning his living walking the streets, picking up rubbish all day. Is he happy? Well, he lives a very simple life, with expectations on life, relative to his income, so we could easily say yes, he’s happy. It’s all relative.

Could we say that this man is unintelligent? Or would it be better to say he’s the one who’s actually getting it right, having the full measure of elitism and the elitist intellectuals, with their fragile egos? When he retires, in eighteen months time, he’s going to buy and live on a boat. Will he be on his holidays and they doing their rounds?

“It’s all in the small, simple, detail you see. With all these people reaching for the top, by over-complicating an already over-complicated world, we can easily get lost. Keeping it simple means we keep an eye on the thing that really matters: Loving each other”

Finding a state of mind, where we’re no longer struggling for the top – playing the games of the fragile ego – means we easily find contentment and happiness. When we understand all the unnecessary nonsense, played out by our warring egos, we come to realise how we waste so much of our lives.

Stepping out of the games enables us to see a better way to live. Simple, humble and unassuming, are the qualifications for a better life. Stop the war and enjoy your life.

Understanding Love is Empowerment

Understanding Love

Additional tools to help navigate our way through life, love and relationships

“When we truly understand love – following its simple rules – we will live life well”

It’s interesting because we immediately think, following the rules of love, throughout our lives, is likely to be the easiest path. It is, however, there is one important proviso: We must all have a clean and clear understanding of what it is.

We watch the news and it becomes very easy for us to jump on the same bandwagon, as journalist, and start aggressively pointing the finger of blame. In the past I’ve done this myself. I’ve ranted and become angry and frustrated. It doesn’t change things when we react in this way though, in fact, it just makes matters worse. Far better to understand why – the things that are wrong in our societies are prevalent – and then educate people into understanding the dangers and repercussions of failing to love and protect our children.

“For better to educate people into understanding the hows and whys of their behaviour and then teaching them how things could be better thought out; thinking skills are needed”

Now, we could say this is a loving response to neglect and abuse, for example. Abuse happens, keeps happening, and this will remain the case, as long as people are ignorant to the truth of how and why. Raising awareness is the name of the game here. Doing this in a gentle and effective manner is where love comes into play. Never be mistaken, this doesn’t mean that love is the gentle sentimentality it’s often mistaken for, no, when we properly love, we empower. This has nothing to do with sentimentality.

We might think there’s no changing the unsavoury aspects to humanity. We might think this because the people within – these darker aspects – aren’t interested. We might be right. It may well be that some people are lost to us; that some minds are just too broken and the repression of ignorance too great. If this is the case, then we must focus on the young. It’s this next generation, through being enlightened to the mistakes of their parents (us), that will change the world for the better. We never enlighten when we blame. All we do is create resistance from the stubborn ego.

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“When we realise and accept the full repercussions of physical and emotional abuse we change”

When we see that much of this abuse is due to ignorance we change. Some parents may be surprised to learn, their responsibility to our children is far greater, than they first realised. Yes society as a whole has a responsibility to our children, yet when there exists such divide, in terms of parental awareness of this, we have a problem. Society must be there to support parents but not take on too many of their responsibilities.

Children need to experience clean and clear love from those they’ve bonded to. Due to our current belief in family, children bond to specific people, and not society as a whole until later. Children obviously need society but their need for parental love is greater. Governments must come to understand this if they’re to improve mental health and the issues of physical and emotional abuse. Whether parents like it or not, we must find a way to lift them, from ignorance.

Something clearly stated is: We love our children when we empower them. For example, even though we may fear the dentist, we love our children by taking them to see the health professionals government has provided. Government provides the service, we love and care for our children, when we educate ourselves about their importance. If we want our children to live better lives than ourselves, we must educate ourselves into what it is, that’s held us back in the past.

“It can never be the job of governments to love our children”

There are parents, who don’t actually care what quality of life our children are likely to have, once grown. There are those parents who have no care for understanding cause and effect. Some of these children are the ones who go on to propagate the darker aspects of society. They will always exist. If it should happen, that individuals are woken by some random event or understanding, it will have been love that did this.

The benefits to loving our children are often missed. Parents that don’t care sufficiently have yet to see the benefit to fully understanding love. We can know, those who’ve not been shown empowering love in their own childhood, will find it challenging to show this to their offspring. It’s a cycle that can only be broken through increased awareness. We must be aware: when we empower others we empower ourselves.

Only last night, I found myself pondering, once again, on how it is so many shy away from understanding themselves better. In some respects, this must come down to what kind of things are instilled into our minds, as interests, when young. Is inquisitiveness not something we’re all born with? Perhaps this is yet to be sufficiently encouraged and nurtured? Is it not natural for the human mind to be inquisitive? How is it we’re not encouraging an inquisitiveness into the workings of our own minds?

As example, many people simply jump into their cars, not giving a hoot about how it actually works. How does the car do what it does? On a personal level I find it bewildering that so many are simply not interested in this. In the same light, I find it bewildering that so many of us simply don’t care, about how our minds work. Is it this, or have we been scared off, by the intellectuals?

“Psychology has been labelled a science, as such, its been over-complicated by those who have something to prove”

Too many people seeking new and better understandings of a subject that’s already awash with theories. Here guys, I’ll tell you why there’s so much mental illness in the world: TOO MUCH FEAR AND IGNORANCE – NOT ENOUGH LOVE. When we confuse and over-complicate things, we’re only adding to the problem. It’s not helping. How would it be if you had nothing to prove? How would it be if you stopped needing to prove your intelligence by owning a subject that belongs to all? There need be no qualification in understanding the mind. It ought to be something all children have.

And so, love, is empowerment. We empower our children when we care enough to want them to have better lives than ourselves. We do this when we understand maturity and what it is to be grown. A mature love is when we take full responsibility for ourselves and our children. We may think, for example, that keeping a child quiet with a sugar-dummy is effective, however, the mature empowerment of love states: a child is kept happy and contented, not with sugar, but with our loving attention. If we can’t give this attention we must learn how. Simple. If this sounds like I’m pointing the finger of blame, you may want to read more. All the best, with love.

The Ego, Fragile Ego

Games of The Fragile Ego

The Ego, Fragile Ego

As a comfortable follow on from yesterday’s post, it’s most appropriate now, to talk more about how the ego seeks to boost and protect itself.

Defensiveness is potentially the most obvious method of protection. Being antagonistic, contradictory and generally argumentative, is a common form of defence. The ego must do this in order to protect what it holds dear. It’s only when we’re aware of this tendency, do we become aware of its limitations: the more we defend our position, opinion and beliefs, the less likely it is, we’ll advance and mature.

A fragile ego will be the most defensive. Low self-esteem is the symptom of a fragile ego. Those who live with such a mind are the most defensive of all. Once we become aware, of how our defensive nature, ultimately only adds to the fragility of our self-esteem, do we begin the process of change. Getting through to such person is a different matter entirely though. It’s okay for the likes of you and I to understand this, but getting this message across in a subtle and successful manner to others, takes dexterity and cleverness. Paradoxically a fragile ego is the hardest to accept change.

The reason it’s the hardest to influence is because of its fragility. Let me explain further. Imagine an animal trapped in a snare. It’s still alive. Perhaps it’s only trapped by one of its hind legs. If we were to approach such an animal, we’d be in danger of getting hurt ourselves. It would be frightened and fighting for its life. In fact, because an animal in such a position is unable to escape, it will be forced to resort to the fight part of the fight or flight principle. An animal that’s trapped, is in a fragile position, to say the least.

“It follows in the same light, that a human being that’s trapped – by its narrow and limited scope of thinking – will, in order to protect itself, fight in the only way it knows how.”

The way in which this is achieved is myriad. Defensiveness has already been mentioned. Let’s talk now, about games of the ego.

Once again, the purpose of the whole exercise, be it games or defensiveness, is to protect. The ego must protect what you are. The ego protects the very fabric of what you are: your beliefs. Individuals who are neither defensive or game players have established something very important: they’ve come to understand the unnecessary and limiting nature of defensiveness and gameplay. Their ego has grown.

“Because of this, they’ve matured to the point that their ego no longer needs to defend itself; it is no longer fragile; it’s the animal set free from the snare. This has been achieved through awareness and maturity.”

So, the alternative to a free individual, is a snared game player. I’m going to leave you with one example of this kind of gameplay. The game of: I’ll like, follow or comment on your blog, simply because my ego needs to boost itself, through your interest in return.

Potentially the player of this game doesn’t have any interest whatsoever in what you have to say, and is only interested in the potential rewards, from their pretence. This is the work of a fragile ego. Never be confused here. A big ego is more likely to acknowledge any positive change they might see or hear suggested. 

And so, the player of this game learns nothing, whilst they remain stuck within it. Social media is the platform, or playground, and it’s something to watch out for. Don’t get pulled into this game because you just might become infected. It’s a nasty game and a nasty habit. Like many bad habits, they can end up, in control of you.

The Ego, Fragile Ego

Understanding the Ego (a useful take)

Synergies of Passion

It will prove useful to fix your attention on this short post for a moment. If we’re to advance, it’s important we become aware, of what drives us. We must understand the usefulness of the ego and its limitations.

Our ego is what we are, or more specifically, what we believe we are. Put another way, the ego, is the vast collection of beliefs that form our sense of self. Reinforcing this sense of self is expressed when we talk of boosting ones ego.

So when we say: his ego needs a boost we’re referring to the minds need to bolster and reinforce the minds beliefs. The ego is responsible for our reality and the testing of this reality. Confirmation of beliefs is part of this process.

For example, let’s say you believe men treat you badly. In order for your ego to test this reality you may talk openly with friends about how badly boyfriends (past and present) have treated you. The subsequent reaction of your friends will often prove a boost to your ego. In addition to this, continued bad behaviour, of future boyfriends, acts as proof and sufficient testing of the your ego’s reality. The fact that your belief is erroneous, due to its generalised nature, (i.e not all men are arsholes) is of no interest to your ego, at all.

Now, as we can see, there are negative limitations to having an ego. It stands to reason, every negative has a positive, so when it comes to its usefulness we can easily sum this up: Without an ego we become a bit of a dullard.

Alternatively, people with big egos, are interesting people. A big ego is a facilitator to living a full life. All this testing and proving – the ego requires to constantly confirm its reality – drives individuals to constantly seek more. They’re seeking more of the feelings created when it receives confirmation of what it contains. We’re given a good feeling when ego receives confirmation of our reality.

“Confusion comes when this reality is a painful one”

On the one hand we have the ego’s need to confirm what it holds (beliefs) and yet on the other hand, we have the pain these beliefs may be creating. We obviously can’t feel pleasure and pain at the same time (unless we’re amongst the growing band of sadists in the world) so ego, will often defer the good feelings associated with confirmation, until later. Playing the victim when out with friends is the time for that.

Now we have a rudimentary understanding, we’re empowered to make some small, yet powerful changes. Know, all and every belief you hold, is very precious to your ego. Your ego will look to grasp on to what you are. You are your beliefs and the ego’s job is to protect their integrity.

The way in which we’re now empowered is through awareness. Once we’re aware of the job of our ego, we’re aware of its limitations. Its limitations are its unceasing need to protect the integrity of our beliefs. 

What you believe, is not necessarily, true.

Partnership Workshops introduce tools designed to help bypass, our often stubborn egos, and change our limiting beliefs.

Happiness

It comes when you stop. For crying out loud, just stop what you’re doing for a moment, and ponder. What are you doing to make happiness?

What we’re all potentially doing is reaching. We’re planning and we’re thinking about that next thing. When we have free time, the question forms: what shall I do today?

When we compare ourselves, to the other animals of the world, there’s one thing that pops up: Choice. Our consciousness (as it is so far) gives us choice. We’re aware of the possible alternatives. We’re able to plan ahead.

We have an awareness, amongst many other things, of self, time, environment and feelings. We have control (to varying degrees) over our emotions and are able to exert influence over them. Our imagination creates future scenarios and we imagine how we might feel whilst within these imagined situations.

There are times when we no longer need to plan or think very much at all. We unthinkingly act because we know what’s made us happy in the past. Our past has quite literally taught us what to believe makes us happy and what happiness is. We automatically follow routines by remembering previous events where we’ve felt happy. The human mind does like familiarity.

It’s often these familiarities that cause us to become stuck. Staying with the same happy-habits and activities, over extended periods of time, creates dissatisfaction. The effect happy-habits have on us, start to wane, and we may even start to feel slightly depressed or stuck. Once we realise what’s missing, we inject a little variety into our lives, and put ourselves back on the road to happy feelings again. All is well for a while longer.

“We’re coping. We have survival strategies and coping mechanisms. When we stop, ponder and reread these understandings, some of us will see the problem.”

As touched on, what we come to believe makes us happy, obviously stems from past events where we’ve experienced happy feelings. We remember happy and we also remember sad. As such, from day to day, we make a conscious effort to avoid what we believe makes us sad and seek out those things which make us feel happy.

Consider for a moment what made you feel happy as a child. There are those of us, who had happy – if not joyful – childhoods, where happy feelings were predominant. It is, believe it or not, easier for these fortunate individuals to find happiness now as adults; it follows as a natural consequence of living a happy childhood. And so what of the less fortunate? What of those whose childhood was mostly devoid of happiness? Lonely children make lonely adults.

Consider how we feel when alone. It is a rare individual indeed who doesn’t need the company of others to feel happy. From personal experience, I can tell you, time alone for me when young, wasn’t so much ‘happy time,’ but was often just time away from the stress and fear of my dysfunctional family. I wasn’t necessarily happy whilst alone, however, it was the closest approximation of happiness I could find. It was time free from stress and fear. It remains the same today: when alone I’m neither happy or sad, I just feel less stress and fear. I do experience fleeting happiness when in the company of others though.

To help us better understand the happiness conundrum, it’s important we stop, and take the time to think about the methods we employed then, and how they compare to now. Those methods we used, or were taught as children, may be tired and worn by the time we reach adulthood. They may not of even been true happiness, and just the avoidance of sadness, fear or stress.

I feel that interacting with people, of a like mind, is one of the most beautiful and lasting methods of experiencing happiness. Sometimes we must go out of our way and break from our ordinary routines in order to find these people. Creativeness, that is removed from being too self-absorbed, is also very powerful. In addition to these suggestions, I think we should all look to find a little more contentedness through being more comfortable, within ourselves.

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When we stop reaching out for happiness, and realise much of it is about internal contentedness – created when we’re loved by ourselves and others – the world will be a much brighter place. Lonely individuals struggle with this, simply because they have yet to really, deeply understand, how lonely they are from themselves. Understand who you are. Get to know, that deep within you, there is a beautiful child, longing to be loved by you.

Are You Hungry?

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“I don’t want to go, it’s cold and frosty outside, the dogs chase me” said the squirrel.

“We know” said God. “Have you not got food stored outside though?”

Before the squirrel’s sleepy mind had registered, how arguing any point with God was pointless, he’d already said “Yes but” out loud. Trying to change how things were – how things were arranged in the universe – was futile. His instincts reminded him of that again now.

Squirrel was hungry, he didn’t bother attempting any further argument with God, he simply uncurled his body and reluctantly shuffled out from his warm nest of straw and dried leaves. Crouching on hind legs, at the entrance to the hollowed out tree now, he sniffed the air. It smelt fresh and new. I must go and find my nuts, he thought.

Bounding down the tree, memories of where his nuts were stored, started to return. It was then that he heard it: the bark. He stopped and looked up. Sure enough, there was the dog, was it on a leash this time? Had it been restrained?

Squirrel understood, at times, even restrained dogs pulled hard enough to break free from their owners grip. He’d been chased so many times before. Cautiously, with a flick of his tail, he set off.

“Oh my God, look!” said the dog owner, “A red squirrel, look at him go!” The dog pulled hard, desperately trying to give chase, would the pet break free from her owners grip? Had the dogs response been anticipated?

Squirrel saw his chance, he was away; the cold hardly noticed now as his body warmed with the exertion of running. Seeking out his nuts was always such fun on a cold spring morning.

Some of the danger past now. He must remain vigilant though, the risk of disease from the greys, always present.

God said: “Be on your way my beautiful red squirrel.”

justice, forgiveness, information

The Only Form of Justice

justice, forgiveness, information

“Over time many of us come to the opinion that there is no such thing as justice. We’re reminded over and over again, not only about the injustice within our legal systems, but also the injustice within the wider scheme of things, world over.”

I’m going to make some subtle changes to this opinion though, and I can tell you, this is no easy thing to do. You might immediately think: oh yeah, here we go, he’s going to talk the usual rubbish, about forgiveness and self-love, being the only form of justice – and if I was, you’d be right to call me out on it.

For starters we can know that forgiveness is fundamentally flawed. Yep, that’s right, and I say this because forgiveness is a little like saying “I’m superior.” It’s saying: “as I’m superior, I’m sufficiently qualified to judge you, as being less of a person than I.” As we’re all equal, we can’t do that, and get away with it. Forgiveness is also another example of how we take on the responsibilities of others. I forgive you is also saying: “I’m responsible.”

For example, you could say that being raped, as a result of accepting drink, and being impressed by smooth talk and the sight of money, makes you partly responsible. What about the drugs put in the drink, that caused you to become intoxicated, in a way you didn’t expect? Does forgiving the rapist who drugged you, mean you accept the rape, as being partly your fault? If you knew you were being drugged, then yes, you would have been complicit. If not, forgiving such an act, is taking responsibility where none is due.

What about the parents who forgive the murderers of our children? Does this offer them closure and some kind of justice? When it comes to our legal systems, does seeing the murderer or the rapist punished, really give us a sense of justice? I struggle to see how any of it does. Forgiveness, punishment, or even the ability to love ourselves sufficiently, really doesn’t cut it for me.

As an extreme, further example, I also struggle to see how the death penalty can give us any kind of justice or closure, even if we’re the one who pulls the switch, or trigger. So no, when we look at things in this way, there is no such thing as justice.

“To believe suffering, is a form of justice, is to believe in guilt, and when we believe in this, we all suffer.”

To create a sense of justice the world teaches us we must have suffering. We suffer, as a result of being a victim, and so our form of justice, is to re-inflict this suffering onto the perpetrator. We must show them the error of their ways. We want revenge. Even when the victim of a murder, has no relatives or friends, society, as a whole, needs revenge. We believe we need to right this wrong because the whole of society is damaged by such a crime.

“As long as we stay angry, about being a victim, we suffer and need our assailants to suffer also.”

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Consider the adult who was sexually abused as a girl. Now consider how it is for this person who then continues to remain guilty and angry – at the unconscious level – and projects this guilt and anger onto most, if not all the men, she meets. Does she suffer all her life in this way? Does she ever truly find a good, honest and loving man? Not if she remains angry and guilty she doesn’t. What if society remains angry and guilty? Do we all suffer? Are we all finding less from life, whilst we continue to believe justice, is to inflict suffering?

And what about the issue of compensation? Will money bring our loved ones back? All the money in the world will never truly remove the indignity of being raped. It will never remove the invasive nature of rape or the memory of the powerlessness it created. Not in a million years will it.

Some believe religion has the answers to this. Some believe the teachings of the bible remain relevant in this respect. If so, let’s not forget, there are people in parts of the world – entrapped by religious beliefs and its barbarism – still stoning each other. And not for rape or murder either, but for the crime of falling in love with someone their peer group disapproved of. And so, as we’ve just seen, religion, forgiveness – and the analogy of an eye for an eye etc. – remain the barbaric nonsense they’ve always been.

So what is the answer? What is the only form of justice?

The only form of justice is information.

“When we truly understand why we’ve been harmed – why that child was murdered – will we find justice and closure.”

You might find this answer to simplistic. This will be because your mind is fighting against the worlds belief relating to suffering. The world believes: we suffer, so others must suffer, in return. All this does is perpetuate the anger and everything that comes with it. When we understand: they suffered, which is why we suffer, will we instigate change. Damaged people inflict damage in return. Our form of justice only perpetuates the problem.

forgiveness, justice
Think of all this energy we could put to better use

“When we improve ourselves, from the lessons perpetrators of crime have taught us, all the harm is undone. This is justice.”

Being informed is the only resolution. When we love our children sufficiently, so that none are ever placed in harm’s way, we find all the justice we will ever need. Is this an impossible task? Not when parents are informed it isn’t.

what's the plan, maturity, loneliness

Loneliness and The Pleasure of Being Motivated

Understanding Loneliness

“Understanding releases the energy ignorance suppresses. We feel this energy in the pleasure of becoming motivated. Once we do the thing, we gain the pleasure and power, of our motivation.”

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Some scientists, in their current, early attempts at creating AI, seem intent on giving them human characteristics. I suppose we’d potentially be more accepting of robots that looked like us, and yet, we must ask: why exactly would we ever need to make AI’s that looked like us? Furthermore, why would we need an AI to be mobile? So it could do the washing up?

Creating a machine in our image is unnecessary, very self-indulgent and only there to serve as example of our ability to create life. Surely we don’t need to keep proving our ability to do that! We know we can create life, but making robots in our image, may seem the obvious thing to do. In time though, we’ll come to understand, the true benefit to creating AI, is being overlooked.

what's the plan, maturity

We must be cautious in our attempts. Some level of dependency on machines is inevitable. To some, the dangers of an increasing dependency, are all to obvious. If we remain ignorant of our weaknesses, and the fear this brings, AI’s will inherit the earth 

“If we’re to make it as a species, we must gain better understanding of our weaknesses, instead of pandering to them.”

Many of us long to be cared for. Due to this we struggle to make the transition from childhood to adulthood. The examples we’re shown of life as an adult, are often example enough, for us to shy away from it. We’re shown that fear, pain and anguish, are part of adulthood. This can be the case but only when unprepared for it.

We’re not shielded from the beliefs and failings of the adults that raise us. We’re brought into adult stress and conflicts far too early. Because of this we look to avoid maturity through remaining dependent, either on the people around us, or society as a whole. That is, if society has provision for this dependency. That last statement makes you wonder: Is charity spreading the disease of that provision worldwide?

Is there a proportion of society allowing the ignorance of human weakness to grow. Is this giving them further power to open up the social divide. Why are our Psychologists, seemingly making matters worse, rather than better? Are they ALL fearful of the ‘career suicide’ telling the truth would potentially bring? Or are they happy to be part of the problem? Is their intellectualising and lust for recognition the very disease they’re supposedly healing?

The truth about loneliness remains the issue of us being lonely from the self. We don’t know ourselves enough to cure our loneliness. In this light, perhaps we feel creating AI’s in our image, with superior intelligence, will give us the answers we long for.

No doubt these answers will need to come from an intelligence, created by some other entity, before we actually start to take notice and listen. Ultimately, and whether we like it or not, the only way to cure loneliness, and all the associated limitations it brings, is to know the self.

“Just take a look at the people around you, and understand, this is all you are.”

If you’re dissatisfied with how things seem, release the suppressed energy of ignorance, by becoming informed. We set ourselves free, from those who need to believe they’re superior, by understanding their failings.

“ONCE WE FREE OURSELVES, OF THIS SAME FEAR, WE WILL COME TO UNDERSTAND HOW WE’RE BEING ENSLAVED.”

 

life, elitism, children

Life Riding on the Coattails of Others

elitism of the children

A new year beckons and with it we see the new year honours list of 2018. The British aristocracy keeping themselves at the top, by creating another elitist list, of human beings. Life riding on the coattails of others. With that in mind I’d like to create a new award:

THE AWARD FOR EVERY PERSON WHO HAS MADE IT INTO ADULTHOOD

There’s a fairly strict criteria, because if we we were to ask the average adult: Do you consider yourself to be a grown up? They’d no doubt say, yes. There is a finite number of awards available you see. There is a problem though, to what do we gauge our award? To what do we compare our maturity?. How do we set the criteria? How do we know what it actually is to be an adult in 2018?

Difficult questions. One persons take, on what it means to be an adult, can obviously differ greatly from another. We do need some kind of benchmark, and I think we can keep things simple, by listing a few important provisos here. Let’s start with just two:

To be an adult we must have a level of independence and we must also have a high degree of self awareness.

That said, I know of people who have a very high level of independence, and yet have very poor self-awareness. Their behaviour and gameplay is very manipulative, and  conversation/interpersonal skills, no further forward, than that of a ten year old child.

For example, recent experience, with trying to converse with a 57 year old woman, left me feeling very uncomfortable indeed. This was simply due to the fact it belonged in the mind of someone aged ten – or thereabouts. Even though this is the case, the lady in question is independent, and has carried many responsibilities. Raising a child on her own being just one of them.

Suffice to say, this lady, who has remained unaware of much of her behaviour during her life, has had a horrible time. Many of the events in her life have placed excessive demands on her. Excessive pain and confusion has been due to her ability to reject everyone, and everything good, from her life so far. To add to this, her list of past (and present) ailments would include: cervical cancer, crones disease, anorexia and chronic tooth decay. She deserves an award all of her own, just for making it through.

Snippets of conversation have led me to the understanding, her childhood was full of neglect, and other forms of abuse. Please note: It’s certainly not my place – beyond a therapeutic setting – to interfere, counsel or advise, in any capacity whatsoever, someone who has no wish to seek such things. As such I’m a very good silent-listener in her company. Now, the clue to my next award-proviso is in the word seek, because:

An adult must be a seeker.

What must they seek? Well, we could say, they must look to seek knowledge, awareness and truth. By seeking these things, we’re expressing our intention, to become adults.

For much of life, many people, are confused and bewildered by the behaviour of others. Many are left wondering: “What the hell is going on?” “What are these people doing?” “Why does this shit happen?” These people find relief when introduced to the value of seeking.

Shit does happen – as our beautiful American cousins are so keen on telling us – and yet shit really does happen around you, when you’re an adult amongst the children. Children keep-fucking-things-up simply because it’s in their nature to do so. As such, all this chaos, going on in the world around us, is instigated by the children who have yet to find the value in seeking.

In this vain, I’d like to think my style of writing, is suited to many people who don’t seek, purely because they’ve been put off in the past.  Many intellectuals and teachers in the world, are very possessive of their intellect and talent. To this end they deliberately confuse the buggery out of the average man. This must be another form of elitism yet to be fully recognised. So stop making things difficult for others to understand guys. There is no such thing as bad students only useless teachers. Here’s another proviso for my list:

An adult must never ride on the coattails of others.

Many adults are in the position they are, simply because they’re exploiting what they see, as the worlds children. The British aristocracy, for example, achieve this through their awards system. This system states: “We have sufficient high status to award you.” What they’re once again forgetting is, if you treat adults as children (we award you dear child) you only add to their confusion. Those who achieve greatness do this through being adults. Perhaps when the elite finally grow up themselves and find independence, instead of leeching off the rest of us, we’ll all be freed to move on to adulthood. Here’s my final proviso:

Once grown awards become obsolete

That’s right, give me a medal for picking up that rubber brick of the bottom of the swimming pool, but fuck you if you try and keep me down, by awarding me once I’m grown. We must all become sufficiently self-aware, so as to realise the gameplay of dependent adult-children, so we may then help them move on. Thankfully, now we know awards for maturity would be a paradox, I can put this one safely to bed.

Happy new year my grown up friends.

maturity

Maturity: Something people want or something they need?

maturity
Iron and vitamins or sugar? Your choice.

“It’s a bit like offering a child the choice between candy or sprouts. The adults know which one carries the iron and vitamins, and yet, if we were to ask the child, which one they want, we can all guess at the negative outcome.”

In the same light, if my intentions were incorrectly motivated, I could very easily tie my choices down here. When maintaining a blog, if the intention (unconscious or not) is to stroke the ego, through gaining more followers, I’m helping no one. At the same time as restricting myself,  through  looking to please people by stroking their ego’s (surely a kind of mutual masturbation) I’d also be restricting those I’m writing for. If you have something useful to say, stop pandering to the egos and/or your own loneliness. If you are you’ll be doing everyone a disservice.

When we think of the distinction between childhood and adulthood, the truly grown are those who have a mature sense of self. I’ve met adults who’ve never grown beyond a certain point in their maturation. This is simply because they’ve never been shown any advantage to becoming grown.

“When the child isn’t made aware of the reason, why sprouts must become their food of choice, they’ll continue choosing the sugar alternative into adulthood. They’ll potentially continue with this until diabetes catches up with them. It’s the same with alcohol and smoking, we’ll stick with the things of adolescence, as long as we remain there emotionally. For some, this will be the case, all their short lives.”

Of course there can be many other reasons why adults remain as children. Unconsciously hankering for care and attention – missing from childhood – is a major contributor to this phenomena. Extreme trauma is further example: The mind, in an attempt to defend and repair itself, can often be reluctant to move beyond extreme trauma and the associated emotions. Think PTSD.

“Headed in a slightly different direction, I also think the point about our level of independence, being a kind of marker for how mature we are, is very relevant. The level of independence we’ve achieved, clearly marks out our level of fearlessness, and courage.”

Something to consider, in this respect, is our hunter gatherer ancestors. As a result of the melting of glaciers, there’s now evidence to show, solo hunters existed and survived just as well as those who lived within tribes. Human remains, dated to be thousands of years old, have been found at the heads of receding glaciers. The shoes, mittens, clothes, weapons and walking sticks, found with these ancient finds, has been suggestive of people travelling alone. Is it perhaps the case, that solo hunter gatherers, were braver and stronger, than those in constant need of others? Was the solo hunter potentially more adaptable, more mature, and consequently less fearful?

“We can only speculate on these things, however, it’s a certain fact, those who have a high level of independence, along with a courageous and adventurous spirit, live freer more fulfilling lives. To suggest, this is something only modern man has achieved, is absurd.”

There’s no doubt, if whatever you’re doing is only done to gain more friends and followers, the content of your posts, or other creative work, will reflect this. Alternatively, if you’re writing from an adult perspective, you’ll be doing this with the intention to empower.

You might now ask what is the motivation? and the answer is of course, love. No adult will ever be empowered trough being spoken to as if they were a child. Why do you thing religious leaders are constantly tempted to call their followers children? Because they’re all children of God? Or is it more likely they need to keep them stuck in childhood (with all the disability this brings) by talking to them as if we still were?

“Whilst we remain as children – and they as the adults – we continue to give our power away. Stop talking to your audience as if they’re children and potentially you’ll gain the attention of adults followers. They’re the kind of friends I prefer.”

Those who have the courage to read something, that create thoughts directly opposed to the thoughts and opinions of the masses, are the ones who follow the solo hunter. Not because they want to be members of a tribe, they do it because they want to see and experience the freedom, maturity brings.

Jesus Christ! Just let him move on.

pain, human emotions

Imagine being reminded, year on year, about how the actions and behaviour of your past, are still troubling the people around you in the present. Imagine being guilted in this way. Imagine being reminded of your past mistakes over and over again.

To some extent we do this to ourselves. Our minds, in an attempt to resolve unfinished business, often remind us of our errors in the past. How we mistreated people. How we said or did the wrong things. Sometimes, either by our own memories or by turn of events, we’re reminded of the things we did when young and foolish.

It could be said, the benefit to this is, we don’t make the same errors over and over. As a general rule though, because of our painful, guilty mistakes in the past, we’re simply unconsciously aware of how we must behave now. We don’t need to be constantly reminded of them.   

And so, do we really think that if Christ were alive today, he’d actually be failing to see – how the stuff he believed and taught over two thousand years ago – has lost much of its relevance in the 21st century? Many believe he was quite a smart guy.

This intelligence would certainly be enabling him to understand, the short life he lived all those years ago, was in fact his and our childhood. What he said and did then was as a result of his childish thinking. It’s very likely he’d be totally lost and confused, (if not angry) to see billions of humans still following the teachings he believed in, thousands of years ago, as a child.

Would you want people acting on things you said and did when a child? Do we not normally leave the beliefs we held in childhood behind? Do you still believe, that in the dead of night, Santa comes down your chimney to deliver gifts? Or that the tooth fairy leaves money under your pillow?

“We must leave the beliefs of childhood behind, because if we don’t, we remain stuck in that fearful place. A place many, if not all religious people, still currently inhabit.”

The comfortable position, those who work within the religion industry have placed themselves in, is something they’d rather not have to change. It is human nature to take the path of least resistance, even if this isn’t necessarily, the best route.

With this in mind, when it comes to removing ourselves from the comfortable and often fantastical beliefs of childhood, this can prove to be a painful transition. It’s never pleasant when a child – who truly believes in Santa Claus – discovers the deception. A deception designed by adults to remove fear through creating mystery and fantasy.

Like these adults JC wanted people to be less afraid. How can we think he expects us to still need the fantastical beliefs he devised – to help rid us of our fear – two thousand years on? Beliefs devised when he and humanity were still in its infancy.

Two thousand years ago, many human beings, were barbaric. Fear and guilt were used in an attempt to limit this. Religious leaders must think we’re still barbaric and underdeveloped, and as such, need the control rods of superstition, fear and guilt. Are you a barbarian? They really do have a lot to answer for don’t they? They’re keeping billions, in a barbaric, dark past.

“How do they sleep at night knowing they continue to stilt human development through failing to move away from the beliefs of their childhood?”

Of course the reason they’re unable to move forward is their fear of the pain this would potentially create. The expression: “Your pain is the breaking of the shell of your understanding” will never apply to those who refuse to acknowledge truth.

Emotional pain is something we must be taught to deal with when young. Responsible parents teach our children how to temper their emotions during the trauma of their childhood. It’s the parents, who’ve yet to do this for themselves, that struggle with this responsibility. If we have little sense of personal responsibility ourselves, how can we possibly be expected to teach this to our children? Are religious leaders acting responsibly?

“If the religious ‘Fathers’ want to parent us, and teach us right from wrong, they’d better smarten up their act.”

Smartening up their act would include packing their bags. It’s the job of parents – not priests or whatever – to teach children about the importance of empathy. It’s their job to teach children how to empathise. Once we’re able to do this, right and wrong is understood to have nothing to do with god and religion, and everything to do with creating better lives for ourselves. You give fear and guilt and that’s all you’ll get. Priests often fall off the rails. This comes as no surprise when they’re already riddled with fear and guilt.

“Give someone the gift of an lemon, for example, and you can easily imagine the experience of how it tastes. Do we really need to continue tasting the lessons of two thousand years ago?”

Let’s just allow JC to move on shall we? He’s had enough of his childhood. Back then he was a martyr who, according to legend, got himself nailed to a dogwood tree. Today we can easily imagine – if we put our minds to it – that he’d find an improved, powerful and beneficial way, to teach us all about love, and how to live better lives. Do you not think?

Perhaps he’d still end up nailed to a cross. If the religious leaders had it their way he would. In order to maintain their antiquated beliefs, religious leaders, need to remember their past mistakes. Every. Single. Day. Pack your bags guys, it really is time now, for you to move on.

Adapt through facing reality

Forget Reality Happiness Lies in Delusion

Adapt through facing reality
We easily adapt through facing reality

Yes, so here we are again, it’s Christmas. The season to be jolly and all that. And indeed why not? It’s a sure fact, Christmas does have the power to create happiness, peace and love, for some. Who am I to question this power? If it works, do it, that’s my advice.

Just as long as delusional beliefs have the power to make us happy, why shouldn’t we continue to hold them? If a belief, delusional or not, has the power to lift our lives and create happiness, there can be no harm, surely? Well, I think we should entertain a little caution.

Most beliefs are very much a personal thing. Collective beliefs, such as those surrounding Christmas, do come at a cost to some. The cost is, not all of us actually want to be drafted into the collective beliefs, of the majority. Because of this, Christmas may have the opposite effect on us, to that of the majority. To some, Christmas is a very challenging and difficult time.

To feel obliged, into following traditions and the beliefs of others at this time of year, is a very tiring and stressful affair. I can of course hear the reaction. I hear the words: “Bah Humbug” and all that guilting shit. However, it’s true to say, the lonely are no less alone at this time, in fact, they may feel worse.  Unless, that is, they’re able to pull a very special trick.

This special trick, is to adopt some delusional beliefs of their own, that are as useful, to those working within the fictional reality, of religion.

“A fictional reality created by the manipulative cleverness of religious workers. These chancers, have succeeded in making the fictional beliefs of religion, a working reality. They earn money from a collective delusion. Is this a brilliant deception?”

This deception has been achieved through the ‘time wearing’ effect. Think of a slow drip of water onto a rock, in time, the water will wear the rock. You might think this an amazing feat, it no doubt is, however we must remember, the Chinese also invented water torture,  something that eventually drove those who experienced it, insane.

“And so collective insanity has been created through the ‘time wearing’ effect. I would like to give you further account of this phenomenon.”

Think of spending time with a work colleague who is very kind and accommodating. This colleague even has the means at her disposal to grant you extra time off, and even determine extra paid hours, that you might not necessarily have worked. Over time, the more these ‘special favours’ go on, the more indebted you might become. One day this work colleague approaches you asking for a favour.

Now, even though you may have an understanding – about the potential backward/forward nature of ‘favours’ never being a good thing – you listen to her suggestion. Because this colleague has been unable to use up all her holiday allowance during the year she has a plan to get paid for them instead, the only problem being, she’s salaried.

Yes, she is salaried (fixed wages with no overtime) and you’re not. So here is the suggestion: What she would like to do, is pay you these extra hours, so you can then transfer these extra hours,  into her bank account. 

To the streetwise this will instantly sound a bit doggy. You’d be right, it’s fraud. However, because you’ve potentially been softened up over time, you may feel it necessary to overlook, the fraudulent nature of this arrangement, and go ahead with it.

Clearly, we can see the dangers of the insanity of others, and the ‘time wearing’ effect, rearing its ugly head once again. Imagine how you’d feel if, some months down the line, this anomaly became flagged-up at head office, and everyone got fired. Slightly pissed off I should imagine. The time wearing effect really is a fucker.

“There can be no harm in delusional beliefs provided they’re kept to the individual who finds them of benefit. Many delusional beliefs, when shared with others, are dangerously exploitative.”

And so coming back to happiness and delusion. What we must understand about delusional beliefs is, they often only suit the individual. If delusional beliefs are of benefit and use to you, as an individual,  all is well. Just remember, when we include others into our delusions, this can prove damaging. Cults would be prime example of their damaging nature when others are involved.

Let’s be clear: the ‘time wearing effect’ is very seductive and subtle. We may be sucked into a false sense of security. Be sure that collective beliefs are of benefit to you, if not, dump them. If you choose, I can help you dump the current, collective beliefs – of manipulative religious workers – by pointing something out to you:

“You can make every day happy and peaceful through believing you are a good, compassionate person. A person who has the power of love to help you through. Once you decide to dump the delusions of others, this power of love, is something you will find deep within.”

Please have a lovely day tomorrow. This can be achieved through having nothing to do with the delusions of chancers, and everything to do with knowing this: Your future reality is what you consciously make it. Make the right choice. א

Information

Unfortunately Your Three AppCloud Has Stopped Working

 

Unlike the Locksmith I do have a phone. In fact, I’ve had one ever since someone – way back in 1998 – slapped their old one into my hands with the instructions: “Get a fucking life!” The only problem with it was the colour. . . Pink! Yuck.

Being in touch with my feminine side I learned to cope with the colour and eventually (having got a life) did even manage to upgrade it. My reluctance to own a mobile phone wasn’t so much about being a technophobe, or anything like that, it’s just that I often find phones a little intrusive, mobile phones say: “whether you like it or not stop what you’re doing and talk to me.” And yes, I do realise they have an off button, which is not dissimilar to pulling the plug out from the wall socket when – all those years ago – phones had wires (some of you may remember).

Anyway, yesterday I went shopping. Oh yes, money in my pocket, mission decided, I was going to get new phone. A ZTE Blade V7 to be exact; being cleverly tipped off, that this is the phone to have, I’d made my decision. So, into the shop; asked for the product; money exchanged, job done, until I get home and start the setting up procedure, that is.

To cut a very long story short, it turns out that this phone was initially set up for a specific network provider. With this being the case, if you put a sim card in – other than from this specific provider – and then begin the start-up procedure, you’ll find a problem. With this ‘foreign’ sim card inserted, after a short period of time, one of it’s apps (Three AppCloud to be exact) stops working. When this happens, you’re screwed, basically. You can do absolutely fuck-all with the bastard phone.

Bastard Phone

“My annoyance wasn’t so much that this happened (several times as I re-instigated the start-up procedure over and over) it was that I’d not been told that this was likely to happen.”

I was not told, that if you insert any other sim card (other than the specific service provider) at the beginning of the start-up process, it would crash the software. It later transpired, after much pissing about, that in order to disable the app you needed to set-up the phone without the sim card inserted. Duh. What a dick head for not knowing this!

Now, let’s just go back a step or two, shall we. When we ask ourselves, why didn’t I know this? The answer must surely be, because you’re a fucking dick head! No, no, of course that’s not true. The answer is, I didn’t know this, because no one had fucking told me!

It’s not possible for a man – who hasn’t grown up with computers, or fancy mobile phones, for that matter – to understand what the proper procedures are, or understand issues of compatibility, if he’s not been told. Simple.

“All in all a strange and straining week.”

When it comes to information there’s certainly a lot of it about. Take the further example of unfortunately finding myself without a working CD player in my car.

This is how the story goes. I’ve recently found cause to replace my car’s battery. In the process of changing it, the car stereo was without power for a short time, as such, I now need the security code for it to work again.

As the car is a recent purchase, and of a certain age, (not unlike myself) the only way for me to find the code was to get online, pay £9.99, input the stereo serial numbers, and hey presto, fifteen minutes later, the code is emailed to me. So much for security!

All of this does beg the question: what the hell have we done to ourselves? What with all the pin numbers, security questions, and user names, has the world not gone bloody mad? We’re told to never write this kind of information down, and yet if we don’t, we’re reliant on believing we have the gift of supper-memories.

“There is a trick to remembering all this differing information, without having to write it down, but that’s the subject of another post.”

The moral of the story – and to bring this little ditty to its inevitable conclusion – is this: if we’ve not been given the relevant, updated, modern information, we’re screwed. Do you have the relevant information?

Empowerment Through Self-awareness

The Empowerment of Awareness

Empowerment Through Self-awareness
The DISC Model of Human Behaviour

On this blog you will find many references to empowerment and the empowering forces of love. It’s useful at this point to further explain what exactly is meant by this.

The clearest example we can give, involves the empowerment of raising awareness. Before we do, it’s worth being made aware that we are bound by the limitations of what can be said, within a few hundred words, on a blog post. Due to the style of this medium we must keep things to a minimum in an attempt to retain human attention.

“It may well be, that a video or comedy act, would prove better at retaining attention, however, these options are currently unavailable. . . sorry.”

Does this mean that we don’t love you enough, to empower you by better retaining your attention with a comedy act, or video? No, not really. What this does say is, we believe that raising your attention has more to do with helping you understand that this actually involves the input of energy. In other words, the more we do for you, the less energy you’ll need to input. Which would consequently lower your attention. We need you to think. Furthermore, to gain understanding from these words, you will need to be aware and attentive.

With your raised awareness (and reluctance to input energy) you might now ask: Surely if you did this through a comedy act would you not have our full attention then?

Potentially this would be the case. Comedy is a very powerful medium for alleviating fear and guilt but does this through diverting our attention. Our desire here is to focus your thoughts in one direction. The added benefit is, fear or guilt really have little place, in the minds of those who’re aware and focused.

“The greater your self-awareness the greater your awareness of the limiting nature of fear and/or guilt.”

Suffice to say, the empowerment of love, is help to diminish these two negative forces. If you like, the empowerment of love is the antidote to fear and guilt. Videos and comedy may only be a temporary fix to alleviating these things.

“So, with raising awareness being the clearest example of the empowerment of love, lets get on with it.”

The quickest and easiest way, of raising one’s awareness, is through the acknowledgement of others. In other words, once we begin to take a fascination and interest in the behaviour of others, we become increasingly more aware of our own. As a result, of becoming more aware of those around us, we may then choose to become advisory. We may become more opinionated. As we do, we attract greater interest, from others.

For example, just this morning one of our members decided to make a colleague of theirs aware of something he’d noticed. What he’d noticed was that their criticism of another person, had become so frequent, that it could now be considered pathological. These are the exact words he used:

“Just to make you aware, your criticism of Colin, has now become pathological.”

Using the word ‘pathological’ proved very effective, in gaining the attention of someone, who doesn’t normally absorb anything. In fact, so contradictory is this person (to most things anyone says) that helping her raise her awareness is nigh-on impossible. However, the use of such a word, is suggestive, of mental illness is it not? This often gets people’s attention through fear.

Now, with your new focus and raised awareness, you’ll have seen the contradiction: fear was used to raise someone’s attention, when empowerment through love was said to be the antidote to fear. Well, your observation is correct, however, before we can rid them of the fear, motivating their pathology, a good slap, (metaphorically speaking) is often for the best. Think: a small dose of the disease often works as the cure.

“Put simply, raising our awareness involves energy. The more energy we have available, the more likely it is, we’ll have a high degree of awareness.”

In contrast to that last statement, those of us who’re dealing with high levels of conflict, stress and confusion, have far less energy available devoted to raising our self-awareness. To further explain, the colleague used in our example, expends such huge amounts of energy – on a defence system of clash, conflict and contradiction – that there is very little left for her to ever become self-aware. Her defence mechanism has effectively disabled her. She’s exhausted.

It’s important for all of us to consider how we use our mental energy and how this may be limiting us. Remember, the less awareness we have, the more we’re being directed by those forces beyond it; namely fear and guilt.

So there we are, empowerment through love because we’re aware of you, even if you are not. Happy Christmas.     

 

Children running free, Beauty of Naivety

Beautiful Naivety

Children running free, Beauty of
The Beauty of Innocence and Naivety

I’ve worked alongside a person, who has such deep and limiting insecurity within herself, it’s left me feeling bewildered. I’ve asked myself: how can this person think like this? How can she have such a shocking disregard of her own achievements? How can she be so insecure? and how is it she feels threatened by those of no comparison?

“The answer to these questions doesn’t lie quite as deeply as we might first imagine.”

If we’re not given sufficient reason to value ourselves when young, we will potentially always struggle to do so. An adult, who has faced neglect and/or physical abuse in childhood, will find it a persistent struggle to achieve higher levels of self-esteem.

It doesn’t matter what achievements they may have made in their life, they will never regard them as such, when inside, there lurks this lack of security and self-belief. A gremlin of monstrous proportions.

It’s often difficult when observing how the neglected are constantly fighting for their lives. Not only fighting to keep their heads above water, but also to wrestle down their own self-destructive, inner-demons. So damaged are they, that life has become an intolerable day to day struggle. Lonely people wondering why, this stinking mess of a life, has turned into such a goddamn hell.

“There is this desire to gently place my hands on her shoulders and tell her softly why she hates him so.”

I see her with these daily struggles. It would be so much easier for her if she understood the principles of projection: how we project our inner demons onto others. We don’t really know, that person sitting opposite us on the bus, but we hate him so.

“We hate him because he represents the coward who took our power and abused us back then.”

Of course simply projecting all this anger and hatred onto others, children included (even our own) does nothing but keep us angry, and hateful. To top it all, these feelings, also keep us confused.

Projecting our inner fears never fixes the problem. Not until we realise how our power was taken away from us, at a time when we we’re powerless to defend ourselves, do we start to change. Now we have a measure of power, we want to strike out, no matter our chosen victim. Stop wasting your energy.

Through these projections, our unconscious mind is looking to help us resolve conflict. When we get this, freedom from our demons, beckons. Do not blame the man on the bus, do not blame yourself, accept the truth and move on.

Small dependent children have the power of love on their side, and yet sometimes this love, doesn’t exist, within the adults around them.

“In this instance, even the power of love is shrouded in the darkness of a cowardly, abusive adult.”

The harmed, when touched by the love of an understanding person, in their adult lives, often don’t know how to react, or what to do with their conflicting feelings. They may even reject this kind of love as fear and confusion grips their soul.

In order to survive, children must love those they’re dependent on, and it’s so often this love, borne of their naivety, that becomes an additional weakness. As adults, believing we may be abused through our love once again, we shut down and reject the good from our lives. 

“When this love and dependence is used and abused by loveless adults, the gates of hell are opened.”

Even though the woman I’ve worked alongside has achieved greatness, even beyond what she can presently understand, I’ve heard her express how death would come as relief. If she could spend just ten minutes in the mind of a loved, cherished and protected child, she would clearly see the almighty struggle her life has been. It may fill her with rage, at the injustice and inequality of it all, and yet, it may also help her realise, what an amazing and beautiful survivor, she is.

“Perhaps then she would cease this journey of self-destruction.”

Children, who are understood for their beautiful-disability of naivety, and their beautiful-vulnerability through dependence, are fortunate. In this way and through these understandings, they’re set free on a course through life, that is sure and true. Fortunate indeed.

When we understand children for their capacity to love, we are all this fortunate, because we set ourselves free too. If only we could cherish more of our children in this way. If only.

entitlement and the fantasy reality crossover, education for the individula

Education for Individuals

Mainstream, standardised education, is for the masses. That’s fine if you’re happy being considered one of them. However, what if you’re looking for something different, that stretches your thinking, enabling you to further escape the masses?

When we think about standardised education, be it from religion to geology, we’re all expected to have the same viewpoint on these and many other subjects. When this is the case, it becomes harder for us to expand our minds, beyond the confines of this standard. We all become standardised. Above average becomes increasingly rare when we’re not encouraged to think differently.

“Geology, for example, may hold hidden understandings that reveal themselves through above average lessons”

So, staying within the area of our particular expertise, when taught en masse, that most relationships follow a particular course, it becomes hard for us to deviate from this teaching. We all have a tendency to follow the path of least resistance. This path is the established thinking society teaches us. If we want to witness societies teachings, all we need do, is watch the drama of the average soap opera. What if there were no ‘drama’ in relationships and just love?

“Our expectations will always be fulfilled.”

On a conscious level our minds may expect relationships to be magical, almost like the childhood teachings of princes and princesses, who live happily ever after. We may believe – as religion and some of the biggest box office hits of the century teach our children – that love is self-sacrifice. So, when we talk of expectations being fulfilled, we’re talking of our unconscious expectations. They may differ greatly from our conscious ones.

The fulfilment of these unconscious expectations does of course take time. At first all is well, and our conscious dreams of a loving, magical relationship, are a living reality. As we tire though, and get to know each other better, our unconscious expectations and beliefs begin to surface. These beliefs are the ones society and our upbringing have taught us. We may have thought: I’ll never be like my mother/father, and yet time passes and we become them.

“Education for individuals teaches a different model of relationships to that taught the masses.”

The ability to question if our unconscious expectations, actually match our conscious ones, means we break free from potential conflict. Take the ‘Frozen’ teaching (the film) that love is self-sacrifice. This belief will never stand the test of time. If we should try and fulfil such a demanding belief, our relationships will be a constant and unnecessary strain, and challenge.

“We can never possibly empower someone through sacrificing ourselves.”

What this actually teaches is inequality. To sacrifice ourself (our happiness or life) would be to place someone else’s life or happiness in a higher place than our own. We must never teach this to our children, if we do, in their eyes, we undervalued ourselves. This is no way to gain the respect of our children. We gain respect by teaching equality, we say:

“My happiness is just as important as yours.”  

The reality is, if we’re to be happy, none of us can sacrifice ourselves. We are all one and equal. Self-sacrifice is an illusion of love.

In time, many, if not most of the people in relationships, become focused on finding ways to stay in control of each other. We do this to ensure our relationships last. We’re raised with the expectation that this is how we must behave. Many couples are together simply because their fear of loss, is greater than their self-love, and self-respect.

“Be educated as an individual, recognise these traits within you, and change them.”

We must do this, because so often it’s the methods we use to strengthen our relationships, that actually weaken them.

In direct opposition to control, the more we truly love those around us, the more we simply want to empower them, setting them free. Games for control always spell the beginning of the end.

Do you want something different to the average?

Tasked

The only reason I’m writing this post today is because of this word: Tasked.

I’ve heard it many times over the last few days so that’s the trigger.

And I hear you ask:

“You’re writing a post because you’ve heard the word tasked several times?”

And I reply:

‘Yep it’s that simple.’

The next question that comes to mind is:

“Who’s setting this task?”

And I reply:

‘The universe is setting the task.’

And the next question:

“How do you know it’s the universe?”

And the reply:

‘I don’t, does it matter?’

The only thing that really matters is that you set yourself a task. Without it, there’s little point to life. Without task life is empty and meaningless.

Tasked
We’ve all been tasked to evolve

So my task, as is everyone else’s, is to further life. It is actually the most fundamental task, we’re all set from birth, we just don’t often see it that way.

“Life’s task is to further life.”

When we take a moment to think about life on earth we see that every single, living organism, be it a virus, parasite, worm, or indeed human being, is driven mainly by the need to reproduce.

“Evolution see’s to it that the most adaptable, healthy and strong, get to spread their genetic coding.”

In time the weak fizzle out and die. How long it takes, for mother nature to weed out the weakest and least adaptable, is often something we’re unable to perceive of. The process of natural selection happens over many, many years. It’s happening to us now, we just don’t see it. When we look at the creatures on earth, and all the weird patterns, shapes and so on, within the species that live here, we get a sense of how ancient the planet really is. This planet is very, very old.

“In real terms, our evolution is happening all the time, yet due to its time frame, we’re unaware.”

As we now understand, we’re all tasked to reproduce. So is that it, or is there more we can do?

I believe if we include evolution into this task we’ll be getting somewhere. In other words, we must continue to make our evolution something we’re conscious of. We’re certainly conscious when we’re reproducing – and what a beautiful consciousness it is – however, as with all other living beings on the planet, evolution isn’t always so pleasurable.

“Evolution and natural selection teaches us to do without certain things as other aspects change and adapt.”

Let’s take consciousness. To assist with our evolution and future survival we must become more aware. That seems simple enough, and yet how we do this, is not quiet so clear cut.

Raising our consciousness involves cutting back on some of the clutter. In other words, we must become more efficient with our thinking.

Mindfulness is the word we can use to describe this efficiency.

“We’re efficient when we’re mindful of our thoughts and actions because mindfulness reduces waste.”

There is actually a kind of paradox here. You might imagine, that to be mindful of our thoughts and actions, the majority of the time, would take a lot of energy. It does. However, through being mindful – in the long term – we become more efficient due to spending less time in the past or future, or indeed nowhere in particular, through daydreaming. We become more efficient, and waste less time, by keeping our thoughts in the present moment. Practise is the key. The more we do it, the better we become.

Also the process of asking ourselves – from moment to moment – what our intentions are, is a very powerful way of raising our awareness. For example, what is your intention through reading this post? To learn something? Find a way to dismiss it? Be entertained for a moment? To find a way to disprove it and discount it? Perhaps, you’re looking to raise your consciousness too? What is your true intention?

Through raising our consciousness we better guarantee the future survival of our species. Be assured, the process of evolution and natural selection is doing many things we’re simply unaware of. It’s the genes, of those who seek greater awareness of this, that will survive. The task that life has set you.

Are you paying attention to what the universe is tasking you?

Learn more.

 

In Response to Emotions

“If we have little control over our emotions we’re vulnerable through allowing others to manipulate us emotionally.”

In response to:

Daily Dose of Inspiration – Deep Feelings

“I’m not sure if this is something normal people think about, or only weird, fucked up people like me.”

It’s very refreshing to see someone write from the heart in the way you have here. Because of your candid approach I particularly enjoyed this piece. It could be said that feeling ‘overly’ emotional – “about a crippled person on the side of the road” – for example, is of no real benefit to the person with the disability. It could also be said that being ‘overly’ emotion is just as disabling to you.

Real benefit comes when we’re able to look objectively at a person’s situation and then help in a pragmatic way: taking them for a square meal, buying them a wheelchair or giving their plight some deeper meaning, for example. If our reaction to pain, suffering, sadness, pity or whatever, is to become overly distressed ourselves, we are of no help, we may even add to their troubles.

In addition to this, to show someone pity in times of their hardship is to be disrespectful and may ultimately disempower them. My revulsion to pity stems from understanding how self-pity is utterly futile.

“On a personal level, if the people in my life – during my times of hardship – had shown me emotions and pity, instead of understanding and purpose, there’s a very strong likelihood I wouldn’t have made it through.”

Sometimes, I think it’s important to take a step back, and consider, that the emotionally charged things we experience outside of ourselves, often trigger something on the inside of our minds, we may be hiding from. In other words, where does our fear originate from when seeing the cripple, or the special child or death? Our fear of these things is very debilitating.

When we lose our fear, only then, are we truly able to offer practical assistance to those in need. If there’d been any level of fear from those around me, during my time of need, this would have manifested into the pity that may well have killed me. We offer people true and effective love when we ‘feel’ yet pull away from feelings that restrict practical action.

In Response to Emotions
In Response to Emotions

During recent times, it seems that our reaction to events, have been very extreme. From the annihilation of the innocent inhabitants of foreign countries to the childish and sentimental weeping at the death of a kitten.

When we lose total control of reason, and our emotions to boot, we’re completely ineffective. As further example, it sickens me to see the guilt ridden, sentimental appeals, charities use to drag money out of people’s pockets. It seems no one ‘gives’ unless guilted or made to ‘feel’ uncontrollably.

The charities in this country (UK), are just businesses using horrible manipulation in order to pay their employees wages, there is something fundamentally wrong here. A charity, and those working within it, must do – the act of giving their time – for nothing. If they don’t give this charitably (for free) it’s not a charity, it’s a business! When did we lose this distinction?

Charities are failing to understand the principle of: ‘you only have what you give.’ Giving of your time for nothing is about gaining the understanding and true value of time itself. Until we give something, we never understand it’s true value.

“No one has sufficient money to pay for my time. I’m not free when being paid I’m ensnared by my need. Make sense?”

So, in a nutshell, you’re most certainly not fucked up, and neither is anyone else who’s empathic and emotional, however, understand the things that trigger our internal fears helps us to help others, with true, empowering love.

Kindest regards AF א

The Locksmith Series #7 (look closely)

Emily and the weight loss Questions
Weight Loss

Emily was aware of the disembodied voice asking her questions, she’d already asked her’s: “Why am I am I over weight?” “Why do I keep eating all the wrong things when I know they’re bad for me?” “Why do I keep thinking I deserve a relationship but keep myself feeling unattractive?” “Why am I crying right now?”

The Locksmith had anticipated Emily’s questions, everyone who’d ever been to see him had questions, and of course he knew all about how important they were to his inquisitors, yet he also knew, it wasn’t so much the questions that mattered, but how you asked them.

He asked Emily to use her minds eye and imagine a leopard running through the jungle. Knowing the next question was potentially deceitful (as the animal itself was often seen) but with good intent, he asked her:

“How is it the leopard isn’t fat?”

“I know all about exercise!” exclaimed Emily, “I work out at the gym, but when I get home I eat a packet of fucking biscuits, sorry about my bad language,” she added.

Lord Harry, the little terrier curled up beside her, had raised his head. The Locksmith’s question had worked.

“Well, it must be that eating the packet of biscuits is doing something for you, satisfying you in some way. What is the feeling you experience just before you open the packet?”

“Just before I open the packet?”

“That’s right.”

“I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it before.”

“And now that you are?”

Emily was feeling exasperated, “Christ! . . . , sorry,” she said.

“So if I’m hearing you right the feeling you have is sorry,” said the Locksmith.

“No, no, I was apologising for using Christ’s name in vain, I keep swearing.”

“Yes, and if you were sorry, what would you be sorry for?” asked the Locksmith

There was a long pause before Emily answered that last question, she was waiting for some rather inexplicable angry feelings to subside. Once calm she repeated the question to herself: if I was sorry what would I be sorry for?

Finding her voice she said, “I’d feel sorry that I was opening a packet of bloody biscuits, that’s for sure! . . . sorry.”

“Um hum, that particular packet, or the packet before that one?” asked the Locksmith.

After a while Emily came to an understanding the Locksmith was looking to help her with; he was helping her understand the looping nature of guilt, and how guilt doesn’t tend to be ‘date stamped.’

“We can feel guilty for something that happened years ago, or hours ago, and the feelings associated with each incident can be no less intense or destructive,” he told her.

“What we must focus our attention on, is the first time we felt guilty, eating. Also we must focus on how something has changed from necessity to guilt.”

That last part didn’t make any sense to Emily but she was listening all the same, especially when he asked her: “Tell me about that first time; feeling guilty; eating to feel better.”

She didn’t want to say, but somehow, Emily found the strength: “It was after the first time he touched me,” she said. Now the tears had become a well.

To be continued…

The Locksmith Series #6

Drugs. Back in the bar, the two girls had migrated over, John and Evo were giving it their best.

It was all going so well until the gorgeous girl John was talking to, leaned in towards him, and with her right hand, cupped his balls over his jeans and whispered in his ear: “It’s a shame, but if you weren’t such a stoner, maybe we’d have got it on.” John was so stunned, it was a moment before he realised they’d left.

“Sexy bitches,” he heard Evo say.

John let out the breath he hadn’t noticed he’d been holding. “Yeah, sexy bitches,” he agreed wistfully.

In his heart of hearts John knew it was time to make some changes in his life, he also knew – with this knowing heart of his – it would involve dropping Evo from his life. That would be the easy part, changing his habits, potentially wouldn’t.

“Evo, I’m off mate,” he said, “Things are quieting down.”

“Oh come on man, the nights just getting started,” Evo leaned in and whispered into the opposite ear the girl had used, “I’ve got some more gear.”

“Nah, thanks all the same, I’ve sort of lost me mojo all of sudden, I’ll see around.” He didn’t even give Evo the opportunity to respond, wouldn’t have heard him if he had, a moment later he was outside the bar, standing in the rain. It was time to go home.

The Locksmith Series #5

Abreaction is the phenomena experienced when we revisit emotionally charged memories from the past. These emotions and buried memories drive our neurosis.
Abreaction is the phenomena experienced when we revisit emotionally charged memories from the past. These emotions and buried memories drive our neurosis.

Abreaction and Meditation. Emily was standing in front of the flame red door. Finding Vidya Alley had been surprisingly easy. A few minutes earlier, as she’d walked toward the door – clearly spotted at the end of the alley – she’d been puzzling over how, in all the years living in the area, she’d never noticed the alleyway before. It’s amazing what you can miss, when you’re not looking for it, she’d thought. As she raised her hand, about to touch the gold coloured knob, neatly centred in the middle of the door, it clicked open. The door continued to gently swing inwards and now, beyond it, she could see a softly lit hallway. There was no one there to greet her, and yet, after seeing the soft light, and now smelling the sweet incense, she decided to step forward.

Tucked into the right hand corner of the L-shaped hallway, sat a grandfather clock, it was gently ticking; the pendulum swinging, right to left, right to left: tick, tock, tick, tock went the hypnotic sound. Just in front of the clock, and somehow slightly out of context, there sat a small terrier type dog: quite scruffy and unkempt looking, and in that way dogs do, when they’re trying to work something out: a sound or something they’ve seen, its head was turned slightly to the right; he sat very still, completely unmoving.

As Emily stared at the dog, it sat so still, she began to wonder if it was a stuffed toy. But then, as if seeming to want to clear up her confusion, the little dog stood up, walked away from her, retreating further into the house. She looked on after it, slightly sad – thinking that might be the end of the encounter – when it suddenly stopped, turned around, and looked back at her.

After a few moments, and a slight wag of its tail, the dog walked off turning into the entrance of an adjoining room. Emily, perhaps foolishly, decided to take that as an invitation to follow, she glanced behind her, noticing that the front door was now closed. It had closed so gently and silently, she hadn’t felt, or heard a thing.

The entrance, through which the little dog had disappeared, was covered by a beaded curtain. Emily couldn’t see what lay beyond the curtain and so allowed her curiosity to pull her into the room.

On entering, the first thing she noticed, was a man sitting on a cushion in the centre of the room. There was absolutely nothing else in the room except a small incense burner and a similar cushion placed opposite him. The man appeared to have his eyes closed. He had very short hair and was wearing loose, saffron coloured, robes. She thought to herself, oh bollocks, it’s a fucking Buddhist.

“Hello Emily,” said the man, “I see you’ve met Lord Harry, and no, I’m certainly not a Buddhist, the reason I wear these robes is because they’re practical and comfortable, and I like the colour.”

Two things popped instantly into her mind: How the fuck did he know my name and who the fuck is Lord Harry?

“Lord Harry is the little fella sitting next to you who showed you in, and no, I’m not reading your mind, I just have excellent timing is all.”

She looked down, and sure enough, there was the curious little dog.

“That doesn’t explain how you know my name though, does it?” said Emily, “That’s a bit creepy by the way, and actually, now I come to think of it, this whole experience so far has been a bit creepy,” – I was warned, she thought – “and why don’t you have a phone, everybody has a phone, and how did you know my name?”

“So many questions girl, come, sit as I am, here, opposite me.”

The Locksmith, she’d assumed this must be who she was now talking to, indicated with his hand that she should sit on the small cushion opposite; she did as he requested; placing her bag on the floor; crossing her legs. Lord Harry, the little terrier dog, came over and curled up next to her; she felt instantly at ease, after everything that had happened to Emily, she was ready to be now.

Taking her attention for a moment, a single, white tendril of smoke, spiralled out of the copper incense burner, in front of her. She began to notice the soft lighting now, and wondered where the source of the light was. There were no lamps, wall or ceiling lights she could easily discern, and yet there was light; a calming, soothing light; it seemed to shift and change like the Northern Lights she’d heard so much of. Emily found herself becoming very relaxed, she dreamily heard the Locksmith telling her to notice her breathing, and how the in-breath felt: cool and relaxing; how the out-breath calmed. Her eyelids became so very, very heavy, she felt so relaxed and calm now, and then the unexpected warmth of that salty tear, as it slowly tracked its way down her cheek.  

What on earth is happening to me, she thought.

To be continued…

The Locksmith Series #4

Loneliness
We all find ways to cope with loneliness

Loneliness. Walking in the opposite direction to Emily, Joanne was pondering on what she needed to pick up from her local convenience store. As it was Friday, she thought it would be especially nice to treat Molly, her cat, to some posh cat food and not the cheap stuff she normally bought. Amongst these thoughts wrestled the indecision of whether tonight’s wine was going to be red or white. To help, she tasted them in her mind, comparing the difference between the two, she also thought about what to prepare for dinner, if prepare was the right word, ready meals didn’t really count on that score.

Earlier, she’d reminded Emily about the Locksmith, because she was beginning to grow a little tired of hearing about her struggles with food; we all had our share of problems, and even though she often enjoyed listening, she felt Emily would be better off talking to a professional. Being slightly overweight was one thing, but Joanne believed Emily’s problems, ran a little deeper.

Now she came to think of it, the friend – less of a friend, more of an acquaintance – who’d first mentioned the Locksmith, had described him in quite vague terms, but said she’d felt deeply affected by what he’d told her. The more she thought of it now, the more she started to doubt if sending Emily on such a quest, had been wise. What did she actually know about the Locksmith? The old acquaintance who’d confided in her hadn’t been seen or heard of for some time, in fact, when was the last time she’d seen Rebecca?

Having climbed the few stairs to the landing she now stood at the door to her flat. The bag containing the cat food, and the red wine she’d decided on, swung from her left arm. Joanne was feeling good about her choices, as her true and only trusted companion, she felt Molly was especially deserving of a gourmet-cat-food-treat. The animal was very important to Joanne.

Whilst fumbling around in her bag for keys, she heard a sound from the other side of the door, a smile touched her lips, it sounded like Molly had anticipated her return.

To be continued…

The Universe Will Test Your Resolve

The universe is testing your resolve, and so, whatever the test, the universe is asking: how strong a human being can you prove to be?
The universe is testing your resolve, and so, whatever the test, the universe is asking: how strong a human being can you prove to be?

Yes, even the universe itself, has willpower, and is designed to test your resolve daily.

That may sound like a very odd assertion. It may sound like so much of the new age wishy-washy-namby-pamby-sentimental nonsense the internet seems so full of these days, however, pause, because you will come to see real, true value in the statement, through gaining deeper understanding.

We could gain this deeper understanding through asking why? Why is the universe so set on testing our resolve? What does it have to gain? And asserting that the universe is testing us, suggests some kind of plan, or even some kind of consciousness. Is the universe conscious?

Well you know what? The only thing that matters is whether or not believing the universe is conscious has any real value. It’s like any belief. When we ask ourselves: is this useful, we’re asking if a believe has any positive input that we can give constructive use.

Allow me to give you an example. Let’s say you’ve very recently really begun to understand the concept of boundaries, and how asserting your needs, is of paramount importance. Let’s say you’ve spent the majority of your life as a bit of a people-pleasing-yes-person, and so full of guilt have you been, that when ever you’ve looked to assert boundaries, you’ve been met by some kind of challenge, that’s caused you to weaken and revert into your old guilt driven ways.

Now, to see these instances as a test, set by the universe, is to acknowledge a kind of universal loving presence, that is working for your benefit. And no I’m NOT going to call this presence God, I’m going to call it a POSITIVE AND BENEFICIAL BELIEF and that’s all. It’s positive, because with this new understanding, it gives the things we found frustrating or overly challenging in the past, a loving purpose. We’re suggesting that everything you experience in life has at it’s root a loving purpose. Is that something that’s useful to believe?

“Whatever the test, the universe is asking: how strong a human being can you prove yourself to be?”

You might now ask: what’s the benefit to being tested on a daily basis? The benefit is development. You can know that if your resolve is tested every day, and you see it as having loving purpose, you will, in time, develop into a beautiful example of a human being. Think about it. 

The Locksmith Series #3

Any form of rape is unacceptable and is conducted by the weak and cowardly. The use of drugs is a modern phenomena in this crime
Any form of rape is unacceptable and is conducted by the weak and cowardly. The use of drugs is a modern phenomena in this crime

Rape. It took John all of half an hour to find Evo. It was one of the reasons they stayed friends; they never made any kind of firm arrangements to meet, they just knew where each other tended to hang out, and so relied on fate to guide them. Beside’s, Evo knew some shady characters, and if John spotted any of them in his vicinity, he could easily avoid them.

Having found one another, and separately visiting the bogs for a line of the powdered stuff, the both of them now stood, propping up the bar, and were well into their second vodka and coke of the evening. Chat came easily in the crowded bar, flying high as they both were, they’d also noticed the menu, lady-flesh menu that was.

“It’d be alright if they’d kept on putting coke in coke like they used to wouldn’t it, we could kill two birds with one stone,” said John

“Nah, be less fun that, I don’t mind a quick snort of the powdered stuff myself. Have ya seen those two over yonder?”

“Of course I bloody av,” he replied, “they’re way out of our league though.”  

“You speak for yourself mate, I reckon after half an hour of my intelligent conversation, they’d be sneaking Valium into my glass, never mind the ruffies I’ve got in reserve for the red head!”

“The Valium I can believe, you’d bloody well need it with the amount of shit you’ve been snorting up ya honk of late,” said John, quietly adding, “and if you do ever use those ruffies mate, it makes you more of a wanker, than I’d ever imagined you to be,”

“I’d never use bloody ruffies mate, I’ve got the necessary talent to get what I need, so don’t you worry ya little head. I believe in chemicals though, all the chemicals I can get, but some of them are strictly for sale to the wankers.”

And so it went on, all typical patter to mark the beginning of a weekend that may, or may not, build into one to remember, or not remember, as the case may be.

For Emily and Joanne their Friday afternoon had continued on in a much more sedate fashion. Earlier in the cafe, soon after John had left, Joanne had shared what she knew of the Locksmith: his address, but also explained, that strangely, no appointments could be made as he gave out no phone number; it was just a case of turning up on his doorstep, and hoping for the best. A bit vague for Emily’s liking but her curiosity had been piqued by Joanne’s enthusiasm.

According to directions, off the main road, a few miles from where she now stood, there was a narrow alleyway. At the entrance there was a small nameplate raised high up on the corner building. The nameplate read: Vidya. Again according to directions, soon after entering this alley, she would find a beautifully well maintained door. On asking, Emily had noted that Joanne had said she didn’t know what the nameplate meant either, and added, she didn’t think it important. Emily thought otherwise.

As Joanne had relayed the directions, Emily was surprised to realise she’d never actually noticed the alley before. She assumed this to be similar to when people, who travel the same journey many times, tend to not notice much of what’s going on around them. This understanding was enough to dismiss her confusion. Back in the cafe, she’d asked Joanne if she’d ever seen it herself, and was met with a blank stare. “Why would I,” she’d said, “it’s you and John who go that way to work.”

Joanne had told her that apparently the door was a freshly painted red and a very striking flame-red at that. She’d also told her that right in the centre of the door was a large brass doorknob. According to the person who’d payed the locksmith a visit some time ago, there was no knocker, letter plate, bell or anything like that, so they’d simply placed their hand on the brass knob, to find out if the door would open or not.

Pulling her coat tight around her shoulders, she thought, how intriguing it is to visit a man, calling himself The Locksmith, who has no visible lock on his front door. Sounds a bit like number Ten Downing street but painted red instead, she thought. There was of course every possibility that the name Locksmith, wasn’t self-appointed, or whether this person existed at all. It could all be a great big, and very embarrassing, wind-up. If that proved to be the case, Emily had already decided to not let on she’d actually gone through with it, and visited the beautiful red door. She set of in the direction of Vidya Alley.

To be continued…

The Locksmith Series #2

Meditation helps to focus the mind as we seek answers to questions the mind wouldn't ordinarily reveal. There are many benefits to meditation.
Meditation helps to focus the mind as we seek answers to questions the mind wouldn’t ordinarily reveal. There are many benefits to meditation.

Meditation. He was sitting in a darkened room, cross legged, a firm cushion raising him slightly from the floor. His back was straight, he sat perfectly balanced with no perceptible tension in his body at all. As he gently breathed in, through slightly parted lips, tongue gently tucked behind his front teeth, his mind spoke the word: Shamatha, an old Sanskrit word meaning “Dwelling in tranquillity.” And as he breathed out, his mind spoke the Sanskrit word: Shunyata, meaning “Emptiness, void.”

He found that using these old words for a short time, at the start of his meditation, helped to rid his mind of all the chatter and the sounds of the world around him. He could remember a time when it was so, so quiet, and how they told him, he’d hear God’s plan. Beliefs in God, as was prescribed to him then, as a child, had long since faded though. There was a new God in his life now; one of his own making.

To the observer, seeing the Locksmith, sitting as he was now, in a darkened room, incense burning, he would potentially have been instantly labelled as Buddhist, yet looks can be deceiving. He didn’t hold to many of the Buddhist’s beliefs, just those he found useful. And he knew about labels, he knew about the label an observer would place on him, and how that flew directly in the face, of so much of what the Buddhists believed. Hypocrisy and nonsense so much of it. No, he was happy to have an identity all of his own, not Buddhist, yet not quite fully anything you could easily label. Human of course, just as human as the Buddhists, who’d even like to lose that particular tag; a tag all humans carry, right up until they die. No escaping that.

As the chatter of his mind stilled so did the need for the repetition of his Sanskrit words. Only aware of his breathing now: the sound and feel of it, a slow steady inhalation followed by that inevitable, yet no longer fully automatic, exhalation. Becoming more and more relaxed with every out breath, drifting down and down into that comfortable place of calm. It was then that the Locksmith heard and felt the name; the name of his next inquisitor: Emily. His mind felt the sound. He would patiently wait.

To be continued…

The Locksmith Series #1

Friendships
Friendships

Friendships. “I’ve always got my nose in the fridge or the kitchen cupboard,” said Emily, “like a bloody grazing cow I am, I know it’s why I’m fat but I just can’t stop myself, it’s like an automatic thing, trying to get some kind of satisfaction or fill some bloody hole”

“Yeah ya cake-hole!” said John

“Shut the fuck up John,” chastised Joanne, “that kind of comment really isn’t of any help.”

It was Friday afternoon and the three of them: Emily, John and Joanne were in their favourite cafe, well, to be absolutely clear, it was Emily’s favourite (she loved the cake),  for the other two it was something to tolerate, it was on their way home.

A few months of meeting like this meant it had grown into something of a habit, and now that casual familiarity close friends tend to have, meant the boundaries, in respect of the subject matter they discussed – and how they discussed them – were, to say the least, starting to become blurred and stretched.

Emily looked up at John, “Yeah well you might be skinny John but we all know why that is don’t we?”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh come on, if you choose to replace a proper evening meal with a line of coke up ya snozer, followed by a vodka and coke, or should I say several, we’d all be skinny; fucked up wasters, but skinny all the same.”

“Now that’s a bit strong, I may be a piss head with a teeny tiny coke habit, but I’m not fucked up and neither am I a waster.”

“Matter of opinion,” muttered Emily.

Joanne was getting a bit bored with their bickering. “Err, look guys, as much as I love the friendly banter between you two, the atmosphere in here’s getting a bit thick, and thicker each time we meet in fact, perhaps it’s time to call it a day?”

“I think you mean call it an evening, don’t you,” said John, “and yes, I have had enough, I’m off to meet Evo for a vodka and coke, and just for the record, Em, I might even have a packet of crisps as a chaser, so up yours” and with that, a disgruntled John stood up, pulled on his coat, and left.

They both watched him walk out the door, the little bell attached to the frame chimed again, as the door swung shut behind him.

“What is it with you two guys?” asked Joanne, “anyone would think you were old lovers or something.”

“Old lovers! Give me a break Jo, he just gets on my nerves that’s all, I open up about something and he just makes snide remarks, he can’t deal with anything serious or emotional.”

“Um, maybe, anyhow he’s gone now,” said Joanne, “off for a weekend full of casual sex and debauchery no doubt, he reckons it’s what gets him through the week you know.” A little bit of debauchery wouldn’t go amiss with me, she thought to herself. Wanting to change the subject she looked squarely at Emily “So did you go?”

“Go? I do hate it when you ask a question like that. It’s as if you think half of it, and only speak half of it, looking to get me into your head so I can work out what the fuck you’re on about.”

“Bloody hell Em, chill-the-fuck-out, I was just wondering if you’d been to see that guy who calls himself the Locksmith, that’s all. You talk about being overweight, but don’t change your habits. You just said you’re always in the fridge, or whatever, grazing like a bloody cow, was how you put it.”

Joanne took a moment to check herself: a long slow breath, she decided to change her tone. Sounding gentle and slightly conspiratorial she went on, “those I’ve spoken to reckon he’s really good and can help you unravel why you feel a bit powerless to change.”

Emily tutted her exasperation, “Truth is he sounds a bit weird Jo, and weird, is like the last thing I need right now.”

The edge came quickly back to Joanne’s voice, “How can it be weird to have an interest in finding out what makes you tick? If it takes a bit of weirdness to sort stuff out, isn’t it worth coping with? Besides, don’t you think it’s a bit weird always having your face in the fridge and kitchen cupboards?”

“Jo!” exclaimed Emily, “now you’re beginning to sound like that arshole who just left. I tell you what, I’ll go see him, this Locksmith, I’ll listen to what he has to say, will that please you?”

To be continued…

Freedom Costs Nothing

Many of us believe that if we just had a little more money we’d be freer. We think that if we only had enough money to set up that business, or establish some kind of higher status in the world, all would be well. The truth is, freedom, has nothing to do with these things.

Clarity of mind:

“This can be achieved through a meditative state. During this state, we must look to drop everything from our minds, that we believe matters. When we’re able to do this, we clearly understand: freedom occurs when we shed the layers of confusion brought about through conflicting beliefs.”

freedom
Freedom Costs Nothing

“The common man is indoctrinated into his expectations of life.”

A very broad and general system of beliefs we’re given, comes as a consequence of our environment, during childhood. For example, when young, what made our parents happy? This is easy to answer, because most times all we need do, is ask ourselves what makes us happy. Happiness, and most importantly what makes us happy, is a learned behaviour.

“By questioning our ‘learned’ behaviour we escape many of the shackles previous generations have taught us. Paradoxically, many of the means we use to seek happiness, actually enslave us.”

It goes without saying, happiness, well-being and safety, are important to us all. How we find these things varies from individual to individual. One individual might feel free, well, happy and safe when he’s in the local betting shop, placing a months wages on a horse, whereas another, may feel free and safe sitting in his favourite chair, with his family around him, watching a good movie after a hard days work.

“Yet another person, who has questioned the types of systems we’ve developed to make us happy, may feel all these things when sitting alone on a beach.”

True happiness is achieved when we free ourselves from the illusions created through learned behaviour. When we take the time to really think about it, happiness is a state of mind, effortlessly achieved, when we have balance. A Buddhist monk for example, may well tell you: happiness is achieved through realising the now moment. How easy would life be, if we we’re able to achieve happiness (a state of contentment) through simply being aware, of our breathing! In those moments, would we be enslaved by all the ‘trappings’ of life we’re taught to believe we need, in order to be happy?

“It may seem difficult to believe and accept, the most effective route to the true happiness freedom brings, will include: Creativity, Change, Challenge and Variety. All of which, can cost us, nothing.”

It’s worth considering a different route, to what you believe may help you feel happier, before seeking investment in that business. It’s only ever the ego (the best creator of illusions there ever was) that seeks a higher status in life, and is often driven by fear. Do we fear not seeming good enough? Our fears enslave us.

In addition to all this, raised self-esteem, is something we attach to happiness. The assumption is: low self-esteem equals unhappy. It’s certainly the case, if we’ve found activities – from learning martial arts to having sex – help with building our self-esteem, we feel happier when doing them. However when this is the case, we’re also working to the same mistaken principle: happiness comes from outside of us. This belief is our weakness.

Freedom
Small Diamonds Are Used To Change Big Things

We raise our self-esteem from the inside out. For example, if a child is small and weaker than his classmates, the solution will often be seen as something external. With this in mind, is learning martial arts the answer? High self-esteem will only be achieved during the hand chopping, board breaking classes. He’ll still potentially grow up to have low self-esteem in many other aspects of his life. If he never questions the belief: small and weak, he’ll remain this way on the inside forever.

“Now he has his ‘black belt’ what if he were drawn to a violent lifestyle or adopted a confrontational approach to others?”

Would this be a useful way to get through life? Far better to change how he feels about himself on the inside. We do this through helping him deal with his emotions in a gentle way, and then question his beliefs about size: small is efficient, small diamonds are used to change big things, and so on.

The paradox is this: The greater the happiness – found through our archaic beliefs – the more enslaved we become.

Happiness is found through the things that help us feel less afraid; when we can fight we’re less fearful; when we own we’re less fearful. The bigger the car, or the house or whatever – now we have the black belt – the safer we feel; all paradoxical. We really do live in a world that’s a mirror reflection of the true one. When we step out of this mirror – through shedding the confused conditioning of our beliefs – we’re able to see the ridiculous nature of the world we’ve created. Only then, will we find the freedom, that costs nothing.

Is Happiness Always an Illusion?

We know what creates happiness don’t we? Whether it be the simple things in life, like walking the dogs, a nice meal with friends and family, or perhaps it’s the larger things like our work or relationships; we know what makes us happy. Perhaps for you it’s security that works: a nice home, enough food and sufficient money to have what you want and need.

All of these things create a feeling that we call happiness. On a physical level our activities release certain chemicals (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins) into the brain, creating our happy feelings; we’re happy because our brain is telling us we are.

“Scientist have of course measured this and can now manufacture these chemicals, (drugs) and once in the bloodstream, they actually bypass those things we need to be doing in order to feel happy. So being happy is a physical thing we can measure.”

With this in mind, can happiness ever be an illusion? If we’re creating the chemicals associated with happiness, (ether externally administered or within our own bodies) this must mean that happiness is tangible and real; surely there is never an illusion? If we feel it, we are!

All things considered, and on a slightly different track, we now know all about the placebo effect: feelings can be created through administering the placebo of a sugar pill. As such, the effect of happiness is created by the belief we’ve been given a pill. In this respect we can see that happiness is always an illusion simply created within the mind through belief. We believe that certain things need to be happening for us to be happy. When we believe something works its the belief making it so.

Going back to our opening examples, if we’re unable to walk the dog, or spend time with friends and family, and we believe these things lead to happiness, surely without them, it follows we’ll be unhappy? To explain we can use a certain group of people as example: prisoners. Are all prisoners unhappy?

We know there’s currently a lot of self-harm and depression in our prisons, and so is it the case the removing a person’s liberty, always leads to unhappiness? Actually, no, this is not the case, some people are actually happier in prison, than they were in the outside world. In particular those who’ve been institutionalised.

“One might say, that to a greater or lesser extent, we’ve all been institutionalised, and our happiness is simply the consequence of what we’ve come to expect from life, and what kind of life we need to be living, in order to be happy.”

Depression in the outside world is on the increase also, and considering our quality of life has never been better, we might want to wonder why. Perhaps old beliefs are beginning to break down and we now need some new ones.

Try this one. It’s my belief that happiness is a state of mind that can be found no matter the circumstances or quality of life. That might seem an odd assertion, however, this kind of positive mental attitude (PMA), is achieved when we have this fundamental understanding:

“Happiness already exists within us and is found (released) through the change and challenges we set ourselves. Contrary to this, beliefs are often the false, illusory root to our failing happiness.”

When it comes to depression we can say that this is simply a symptom of feeling stuck. Even prisoners are able to escape depression once they’ve been given sufficient challenge and variety. Exercise, for example, is a popular activity in prisons, as this helps to release the chemicals mentioned earlier, and also sets competition and challenge between inmates.

Further to this, it could be said, the type of people who find themselves incarcerated in our prisons, have confused beliefs on life, and once they’re made to feel safe, with sufficient challenge and variety, this is all that’s needed for them to feel some kind of contentment. Potentially imprisonment has challenged (but not changed) their beliefs, and so once released back into the wide world, confusion sets in again, causing them to reoffend.

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Happiness is often an illusion maintained through lifestyle

Coming back to the illusion of happiness for a moment, let’s consider the average man and what he needs to be doing in order to feel happy. How about spending the day watching television, does this work? How about working all week living with the expectation of watching his local football team at the weekend, followed by a few beers when out with his mates? Is this man happy?

The average man would probably tell you that he’s okay with this, and he’d be telling you the truth. Provided his beliefs for happiness are being fulfilled, all is well. His expectations (beliefs) may well be that he must work all week, in order to afford seeing his local team and buy beers later, and when this is the case, he’s sorted. For the average man problems can begin when this pattern is threatened. For the average man, security and stability are the linchpin to his happiness. I would consider these beliefs to be illusory.

“I say this, because there simply wouldn’t be enough variety and challenge in this kind of life, for it to lead to happiness. Once a man raises himself above average, his old beliefs break down into illusory, leading to frustration, dissatisfaction and depression.”

And so to sum up, happiness will be a failing illusion under certain circumstances:

1, When induced by manufactured drugs

2, When governed by old and average beliefs

3, When driven by possessions, habits (good or bad) and security, rather than challenge and change

Happiness is real, lasting and tangible when:

1, We understand it’s ‘released’ from within through challenge, change and variety

2, We’re able to push aside our fear of losing the illusion of security

3, We recognise how the average man imprisons himself through his beliefs

Breaking free? Find true happiness and do so.  

LOVE IS EMPOWERMENT

The Time Machine

The Time Machine

The Time Machine
The Time Machine

“I think back to my earlier life and I wonder what would have motivated me to attend a workshop that taught me about relationships.”

The honest truth is, it’s highly unlikely I’d have found the reason, my attention was mainly fixed on improving my situation; believing my girlfriend and future wife needed security and a man who was a provider. I believed she was attracted to money I needed to earn it.

Educational workshop
The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet

“From very meagre beginnings (semi-illiterate on leaving school) I strived to retrain and find better paid work. Being a fairly shallow young man, provided there was enough sex, I felt my relationship was okay.”

I did as much as I could to care for my girlfriend and make her happy. Due to my background I believed my role was to care for my girlfriend almost as if she was a dependent. Little did I know at the time, dependency was in fact the attraction. Her mother was an old fashioned dependent housewife and that was ultimately the aim of my girlfriend: to become as dependent as her mother. Daughters often become their mothers. I remember thinking, even at the time, that her mother seemed nervy and slightly neurotic; the outcome of a dependent life.

“In time, I rejected all the emotionally dependant people from my life (luckily children weren’t involved) as on some level I realised, that the model of behaviour (caring for the emotional wellbeing of others) taught me in childhood, was of no real value to anyone (disempowering) and definitely not a recipe for happiness.”

As hard as I may have tried, I never fully managed to break from the model of caring for others, because I didn’t fully understand how and why I was doing it. All I knew, was that after a short time in a relationship, I’d reject it, as the vampires became close and emotionally dependent on me.

If we offer a human being a shortcut out of their responsibilities, they will nearly always take it. We must remember: we’re drawn to people on many different levels, and those seeking this way out would be extremely attractive to me; mostly on an unconscious level of course.

“This human tendency, toward taking shortcuts, is the main reason for my suspicion of our modern health care systems today.”

Many doctors, nurses and all manner of health care professionals, have simply become surrogate parents for those who lacked parental care during their childhood. The human mind will crave this kind of love if not provided when needed. The transition from childhood to adulthood is assisted when the kind of love we experience evolves. If all we seek is a caring love, that belongs in childhood, we then remain stuck. This has the effect of weakening society as a whole. Why do we imagine our healthcare system is creaking at the seams?

“The troubles of the NHS can’t be all about money, much of it is due to the unnecessary demand brought on by needy, dependent adult-children, whose body-minds have found the ultimate solution to receiving a caring love: illness.”

Educational Workshop

“And so, in a sense, attendance on a workshop when young would have been like jumping into a time machine showing me the dangers of the path I was about to follow. The question remains though: what would have motivated me to go an a workshop when my mind was elsewhere?”

I suppose the answer to that question lies in belief: I would have needed to believe in someone who introduced such an education to me. There would have also needed to be some kind of hook that appealed to my young mind. No doubt the prospect of a less tormented life, and being shown the example of a life filled with love and joy, would have motivated me to think again. At the time though, no such educational programme excised, it does now. Think again?