Advancement

Advancement

“It could be said we’re all advancing. From the moment we’re born, it starts. Be it simply growing or learning, our brains and bodies are developing, we’re advancing”

The question is, to what extent are we advancing compared to others? Of course, comparing ourselves to others, is potentially never a good idea. We’re all different. One person’s view on what it means to grow and advance may differ greatly to another. Just so long as we’re changing and developing, in some fashion, all is well. The point remains though, the quickest development, is the greatest gain.

Life is short. We’re all in a hurry. This isn’t surprising considering the uncertainty of it all. Live the moment. There’s always a bus ready to run you over. You never know what’s around the next corner. You could be dead tomorrow etc., etc.

“With this in mind, let’s also consider the close correlation between the words ‘advance’ and ‘advantage.’ The quicker you advance the greater the advantage”

In this moment now, I believe the quickest, most effective advancement, is to raise awareness. As I experience people, it’s all too obvious to me, many lack self-awareness. When we take a step back and think about the behaviour of some humans, we can see, it’s a lack of self-awareness, that drives their self-destructive patterns. We could say this lack is a form of mental illness.

Now, adding to the array of labels associated with mental illness, isn’t necessarily a good thing, we have plenty already. With so many children craving attention, and the mental health professionals so keen to pander to this through creating new labels, why add to it? Give me a label though, and it makes me feel so, so special. I’m Autistic, Dyslexic, Asperger. Are you? Or are you just a lonely human exhibiting a difference for attention?

“Does giving us labels help with self-awareness? Or do they close us down and give us something to live down to? We could live up to somewhere different. An awareness that gives us advantage”

Once we become aware of limiting behaviour, devoid of a label, we’re more able to change it. Let’s take the limiting thoughts and behaviour related to sexism, bigotry, racism and intolerance. Is it not the case that labelling ourselves may be creating a form of individuality, yet also creating, a separateness? Can we be individuals without others being intolerant? I believe we can through raising awareness.

For example, what’s behind the behaviour of sexism? Why are we intolerant of others? Is it because we’ve given them a label? Does the label mean less or more? Why is there hatred? Raise this: Hatred is a consequence of a lack of self-awareness. We hate what we don’t understand about ourselves, and project it, onto those we’ve labelled.

As children, when the adults around us display their hatred of other humans, we, as sensitive children, take this on, to our ‘selves.’ We only ever hate our selves. This is then projected. Children don’t see differences as occurring outside of themselves, they internalise them, and learn to hate their selves. Get it? The suicide bomber is blowing himself up. Clarity? 

Anyway, we just love our labels, don’t we? Think of this: I’m a Muslim, I’m a Christian, I’ve got a degree, I’m black, I’m White, and on and on we go. What if we removed all of these labels and simply had one? This one: Flawed Human.

There’s no getting away from the fact many want to be seen as better than others. To have the bigger car, more money, a better job, a more loving God and so on, however, the trick, through raising self-awareness, is we begin to see the nonsense of this.

“There is also a paradox to this trick. We need the driving to be better; to be more advanced, in order to want raised awareness. Once we have it though, some become enlightened to our often, ridiculous nature of wanting superiority. A Beautiful Paradox”

Seek the advantage of advancement and discover this Beautiful Paradox for yourself. When you find it you will also find a beautiful freedom. The freedom of Self-Love.

The Chains That Bind Us

theverythings

We must recognise, sometimes it’s the very things we strive for, that are the very things holding us down.

I read recently, once again, that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. We may find ourselves insane from time to time, however, as long as we recognise the error, eventually, we’re progressing. It’s those who fail in this recognition that potentially waste their lives, and a fortune, pursuing something that doesn’t want them.

This something could be a person or potential future. No matter how hard we try and what choices we make, it can be the case, that a certain future just isn’t a possibility. As strange as it may sound, it could well be, that it just isn’t available. The reasons for this can be myriad. Exploring this can also become a bind in itself. Far better, once we’ve recognised the insanity of our situation, to just drop it, and move on. This can take courage.

courage

To recognise that we may have been wrong; that we may have been pursuing the wrong idea, or wrong person for that matter, does take courage. It is only courage though.

Take heart, because once you begin to move away from the insanity of stagnation, you’ll be moving toward the sanity of change. One of the few certainties that’s pointless to try and avoid. Embrace change and never look back.

Pinpoint Anger

Anger

What makes you feel angry? What is anger? Do you ever feel angry?

I’ve never considered myself as someone who’s quick to anger. This has not always been the case though, as a much younger man, feelings of anger, were quite common.

“There are times nowadays when I feel like I’ve come full circle. As an older man, I’ve become quick to anger once again, however, there is a difference”

Previously I’ve become enraged and not really fully understood why. When I look back now, I can clearly remember times of anger. From drunken punch-ups in the street, to punching holes in hollow doors, I’ve certainly experienced it. Yet now, I become angry, at very specific things. The anger is controlled (I don’t punch holes in doors) and drink has absolutely nothing to do with it. I no longer do drugs.

To help explain my point, I can share with you an interesting experience I had with anger. It was about six or seven years ago driving home from the airport in the early hours of the morning. I’d just spent a disastrous week away in Croatia with a lady friend of mine.

On the drive I’d nearly fallen asleep several times through exhaustion. On reflection I now understand that I was exhausted through keeping my anger in check. Such was my rage at the time, I worried what might happen, if I let it out. It was important I keep it under control and it was exhausting me.

The lady in question had spent the last few days of the holiday giving me the cold shoulder. The reason for this I’ll explain later, suffice to say her behaviour was irrational and manipulative. In being quiet and aloof, I understood it for what it was: Manipulation. I’d been, and on the drive home, was still being manipulated, through her silence.

“In her state of suppressed anger, my lady friend, instead of having it out with me, so to speak, had decided the best policy, was silence”

To add to this she’d moved out of our hotel room to find a separate one of her own. For the last four days of the holiday it was as if I didn’t exist. The silence in the car on the drive home was just as palpable. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be manipulated and it was exhausting me. Going into a rage would have enabled her to take away my power. I would have been expressing her anger; her fear.  

The whole incident, and reason for the ruined holiday, was a rather off the cuff comment I’d made, about her erratic and extreme reaction to wasps. There were wasps everywhere. Every time one was spotted, my companion would jump around swatting and ducking in a panicked, irrational manner. We couldn’t, at any point on the holiday, eat outside. Not good in a Croatian summer.

My intention all along had been to help put her fear into perspective. So to apologise, for drawing her attention to the irrationality of her behaviour, would have also taken my power. Power she needed to defend her irrational behaviour.

“There is no flaw in being afraid, yet sometimes the fear is irrational. Swat at a wasp, for example, and you’ve more chance of getting stung. Leave it alone and it will do the same. Simple”

Anyway, back to the drive home from the airport. I’ve never experienced fatigue in quite the same way before, or since, this incident. After thinking about this for some time, I now fully understand why. The energy I needed, to hold on to the rage I felt, at being manipulated, was so intense, it was draining me to the point of exhaustion. It’s energy was vast.

Nowadays I have a far better understanding of these things, and so realise, as soon as someone exhibits this kind of behaviour, all I need do, is make them aware of it. Once someone realises you know their game, they tend to give it up, or find another strategy to manipulate you with. What that other strategy might be, is a whole different matter, and subject for another post entirely.

And so, being quick to anger is fine, as long as we understand the reason behind it. When this is the case, we’re better able to direct it at a specific target, in order to protect ourselves and get our needs respected. In other words, and continuing with the example of my holiday, everything could have been quickly resolved, if I’d simply used my anger to confront the situation, head on.

This is the exact dialogue that I ought to have used:

“Your silence is manipulative and I understand your fear.”

Pinpoint anger, is the power to get your needs met. I needed energy to drive us home safely, not to repress my confused rage. Along with that need all I wanted was to drop her off at her flat and never see her again. If I’d crashed the car – something my lady friend had experienced with a previous boyfriend – it could have killed us both.

“Anger, may well be the power to save your life, and that of others”

Let’s hope for some happy summer holidays guys.

Understanding Love is Empowerment

Understanding Love

Additional tools to help navigate our way through life, love and relationships

“When we truly understand love – following its simple rules – we will live life well”

It’s interesting because we immediately think, following the rules of love, throughout our lives, is likely to be the easiest path. It is, however, there is one important proviso: We must all have a clean and clear understanding of what it is.

We watch the news and it becomes very easy for us to jump on the same bandwagon, as journalist, and start aggressively pointing the finger of blame. In the past I’ve done this myself. I’ve ranted and become angry and frustrated. It doesn’t change things when we react in this way though, in fact, it just makes matters worse. Far better to understand why – the things that are wrong in our societies are prevalent – and then educate people into understanding the dangers and repercussions of failing to love and protect our children.

“For better to educate people into understanding the hows and whys of their behaviour and then teaching them how things could be better thought out; thinking skills are needed”

Now, we could say this is a loving response to neglect and abuse, for example. Abuse happens, keeps happening, and this will remain the case, as long as people are ignorant to the truth of how and why. Raising awareness is the name of the game here. Doing this in a gentle and effective manner is where love comes into play. Never be mistaken, this doesn’t mean that love is the gentle sentimentality it’s often mistaken for, no, when we properly love, we empower. This has nothing to do with sentimentality.

We might think there’s no changing the unsavoury aspects to humanity. We might think this because the people within – these darker aspects – aren’t interested. We might be right. It may well be that some people are lost to us; that some minds are just too broken and the repression of ignorance too great. If this is the case, then we must focus on the young. It’s this next generation, through being enlightened to the mistakes of their parents (us), that will change the world for the better. We never enlighten when we blame. All we do is create resistance from the stubborn ego.

livewell

“When we realise and accept the full repercussions of physical and emotional abuse we change”

When we see that much of this abuse is due to ignorance we change. Some parents may be surprised to learn, their responsibility to our children is far greater, than they first realised. Yes society as a whole has a responsibility to our children, yet when there exists such divide, in terms of parental awareness of this, we have a problem. Society must be there to support parents but not take on too many of their responsibilities.

Children need to experience clean and clear love from those they’ve bonded to. Due to our current belief in family, children bond to specific people, and not society as a whole until later. Children obviously need society but their need for parental love is greater. Governments must come to understand this if they’re to improve mental health and the issues of physical and emotional abuse. Whether parents like it or not, we must find a way to lift them, from ignorance.

Something clearly stated is: We love our children when we empower them. For example, even though we may fear the dentist, we love our children by taking them to see the health professionals government has provided. Government provides the service, we love and care for our children, when we educate ourselves about their importance. If we want our children to live better lives than ourselves, we must educate ourselves into what it is, that’s held us back in the past.

“It can never be the job of governments to love our children”

There are parents, who don’t actually care what quality of life our children are likely to have, once grown. There are those parents who have no care for understanding cause and effect. Some of these children are the ones who go on to propagate the darker aspects of society. They will always exist. If it should happen, that individuals are woken by some random event or understanding, it will have been love that did this.

The benefits to loving our children are often missed. Parents that don’t care sufficiently have yet to see the benefit to fully understanding love. We can know, those who’ve not been shown empowering love in their own childhood, will find it challenging to show this to their offspring. It’s a cycle that can only be broken through increased awareness. We must be aware: when we empower others we empower ourselves.

Only last night, I found myself pondering, once again, on how it is so many shy away from understanding themselves better. In some respects, this must come down to what kind of things are instilled into our minds, as interests, when young. Is inquisitiveness not something we’re all born with? Perhaps this is yet to be sufficiently encouraged and nurtured? Is it not natural for the human mind to be inquisitive? How is it we’re not encouraging an inquisitiveness into the workings of our own minds?

As example, many people simply jump into their cars, not giving a hoot about how it actually works. How does the car do what it does? On a personal level I find it bewildering that so many are simply not interested in this. In the same light, I find it bewildering that so many of us simply don’t care, about how our minds work. Is it this, or have we been scared off, by the intellectuals?

“Psychology has been labelled a science, as such, its been over-complicated by those who have something to prove”

Too many people seeking new and better understandings of a subject that’s already awash with theories. Here guys, I’ll tell you why there’s so much mental illness in the world: TOO MUCH FEAR AND IGNORANCE – NOT ENOUGH LOVE. When we confuse and over-complicate things, we’re only adding to the problem. It’s not helping. How would it be if you had nothing to prove? How would it be if you stopped needing to prove your intelligence by owning a subject that belongs to all? There need be no qualification in understanding the mind. It ought to be something all children have.

And so, love, is empowerment. We empower our children when we care enough to want them to have better lives than ourselves. We do this when we understand maturity and what it is to be grown. A mature love is when we take full responsibility for ourselves and our children. We may think, for example, that keeping a child quiet with a sugar-dummy is effective, however, the mature empowerment of love states: a child is kept happy and contented, not with sugar, but with our loving attention. If we can’t give this attention we must learn how. Simple. If this sounds like I’m pointing the finger of blame, you may want to read more. All the best, with love.

The Ego, Fragile Ego

Understanding the Ego (a useful take)

Synergies of Passion

It will prove useful to fix your attention on this short post for a moment. If we’re to advance, it’s important we become aware, of what drives us. We must understand the usefulness of the ego and its limitations.

Our ego is what we are, or more specifically, what we believe we are. Put another way, the ego, is the vast collection of beliefs that form our sense of self. Reinforcing this sense of self is expressed when we talk of boosting ones ego.

So when we say: his ego needs a boost we’re referring to the minds need to bolster and reinforce the minds beliefs. The ego is responsible for our reality and the testing of this reality. Confirmation of beliefs is part of this process.

For example, let’s say you believe men treat you badly. In order for your ego to test this reality you may talk openly with friends about how badly boyfriends (past and present) have treated you. The subsequent reaction of your friends will often prove a boost to your ego. In addition to this, continued bad behaviour, of future boyfriends, acts as proof and sufficient testing of the your ego’s reality. The fact that your belief is erroneous, due to its generalised nature, (i.e not all men are arsholes) is of no interest to your ego, at all.

Now, as we can see, there are negative limitations to having an ego. It stands to reason, every negative has a positive, so when it comes to its usefulness we can easily sum this up: Without an ego we become a bit of a dullard.

Alternatively, people with big egos, are interesting people. A big ego is a facilitator to living a full life. All this testing and proving – the ego requires to constantly confirm its reality – drives individuals to constantly seek more. They’re seeking more of the feelings created when it receives confirmation of what it contains. We’re given a good feeling when ego receives confirmation of our reality.

“Confusion comes when this reality is a painful one”

On the one hand we have the ego’s need to confirm what it holds (beliefs) and yet on the other hand, we have the pain these beliefs may be creating. We obviously can’t feel pleasure and pain at the same time (unless we’re amongst the growing band of sadists in the world) so ego, will often defer the good feelings associated with confirmation, until later. Playing the victim when out with friends is the time for that.

Now we have a rudimentary understanding, we’re empowered to make some small, yet powerful changes. Know, all and every belief you hold, is very precious to your ego. Your ego will look to grasp on to what you are. You are your beliefs and the ego’s job is to protect their integrity.

The way in which we’re now empowered is through awareness. Once we’re aware of the job of our ego, we’re aware of its limitations. Its limitations are its unceasing need to protect the integrity of our beliefs. 

What you believe, is not necessarily, true.

Personal Development Workshops introduce tools designed to help bypass, our often stubborn egos, and change our limiting beliefs.

Happiness

It comes when you stop. For crying out loud, just stop what you’re doing for a moment, and ponder. What are you doing to make happiness?

What we’re all potentially doing is reaching. We’re planning and we’re thinking about that next thing. When we have free time, the question forms: what shall I do today?

When we compare ourselves, to the other animals of the world, there’s one thing that pops up: Choice. Our consciousness (as it is so far) gives us choice. We’re aware of the possible alternatives. We’re able to plan ahead.

We have an awareness, amongst many other things, of self, time, environment and feelings. We have control (to varying degrees) over our emotions and are able to exert influence over them. Our imagination creates future scenarios and we imagine how we might feel whilst within these imagined situations.

There are times when we no longer need to plan or think very much at all. We unthinkingly act because we know what’s made us happy in the past. Our past has quite literally taught us what to believe makes us happy and what happiness is. We automatically follow routines by remembering previous events where we’ve felt happy. The human mind does like familiarity.

It’s often these familiarities that cause us to become stuck. Staying with the same happy-habits and activities, over extended periods of time, creates dissatisfaction. The effect happy-habits have on us, start to wane, and we may even start to feel slightly depressed or stuck. Once we realise what’s missing, we inject a little variety into our lives, and put ourselves back on the road to happy feelings again. All is well for a while longer.

“We’re coping. We have survival strategies and coping mechanisms. When we stop, ponder and reread these understandings, some of us will see the problem.”

As touched on, what we come to believe makes us happy, obviously stems from past events where we’ve experienced happy feelings. We remember happy and we also remember sad. As such, from day to day, we make a conscious effort to avoid what we believe makes us sad and seek out those things which make us feel happy.

Consider for a moment what made you feel happy as a child. There are those of us, who had happy – if not joyful – childhoods, where happy feelings were predominant. It is, believe it or not, easier for these fortunate individuals to find happiness now as adults; it follows as a natural consequence of living a happy childhood. And so what of the less fortunate? What of those whose childhood was mostly devoid of happiness? Lonely children make lonely adults.

Consider how we feel when alone. It is a rare individual indeed who doesn’t need the company of others to feel happy. From personal experience, I can tell you, time alone for me when young, wasn’t so much ‘happy time,’ but was often just time away from the stress and fear of my dysfunctional family. I wasn’t necessarily happy whilst alone, however, it was the closest approximation of happiness I could find. It was time free from stress and fear. It remains the same today: when alone I’m neither happy or sad, I just feel less stress and fear. I do experience fleeting happiness when in the company of others though.

To help us better understand the happiness conundrum, it’s important we stop, and take the time to think about the methods we employed then, and how they compare to now. Those methods we used, or were taught as children, may be tired and worn by the time we reach adulthood. They may not of even been true happiness, and just the avoidance of sadness, fear or stress.

I feel that interacting with people, of a like mind, is one of the most beautiful and lasting methods of experiencing happiness. Sometimes we must go out of our way and break from our ordinary routines in order to find these people. Creativeness, that is removed from being too self-absorbed, is also very powerful. In addition to these suggestions, I think we should all look to find a little more contentedness through being more comfortable, within ourselves.

happiness

When we stop reaching out for happiness, and realise much of it is about internal contentedness – created when we’re loved by ourselves and others – the world will be a much brighter place. Lonely individuals struggle with this, simply because they have yet to really, deeply understand, how lonely they are from themselves. Understand who you are. Get to know, that deep within you, there is a beautiful child, longing to be loved by you.

justice, forgiveness, information

The Only Form of Justice

justice, forgiveness, information

“Over time many of us come to the opinion that there is no such thing as justice. We’re reminded over and over again, not only about the injustice within our legal systems, but also the injustice within the wider scheme of things, world over.”

I’m going to make some subtle changes to this opinion though, and I can tell you, this is no easy thing to do. You might immediately think: oh yeah, here we go, he’s going to talk the usual rubbish, about forgiveness and self-love, being the only form of justice – and if I was, you’d be right to call me out on it.

For starters we can know that forgiveness is fundamentally flawed. Yep, that’s right, and I say this because forgiveness is a little like saying “I’m superior.” It’s saying: “as I’m superior, I’m sufficiently qualified to judge you, as being less of a person than I.” As we’re all equal, we can’t do that, and get away with it. Forgiveness is also another example of how we take on the responsibilities of others. I forgive you is also saying: “I’m responsible.”

For example, you could say that being raped, as a result of accepting drink, and being impressed by smooth talk and the sight of money, makes you partly responsible. What about the drugs put in the drink, that caused you to become intoxicated, in a way you didn’t expect? Does forgiving the rapist who drugged you, mean you accept the rape, as being partly your fault? If you knew you were being drugged, then yes, you would have been complicit. If not, forgiving such an act, is taking responsibility where none is due.

What about the parents who forgive the murderers of our children? Does this offer them closure and some kind of justice? When it comes to our legal systems, does seeing the murderer or the rapist punished, really give us a sense of justice? I struggle to see how any of it does. Forgiveness, punishment, or even the ability to love ourselves sufficiently, really doesn’t cut it for me.

As an extreme, further example, I also struggle to see how the death penalty can give us any kind of justice or closure, even if we’re the one who pulls the switch, or trigger. So no, when we look at things in this way, there is no such thing as justice.

“To believe suffering, is a form of justice, is to believe in guilt, and when we believe in this, we all suffer.”

To create a sense of justice the world teaches us we must have suffering. We suffer, as a result of being a victim, and so our form of justice, is to re-inflict this suffering onto the perpetrator. We must show them the error of their ways. We want revenge. Even when the victim of a murder, has no relatives or friends, society, as a whole, needs revenge. We believe we need to right this wrong because the whole of society is damaged by such a crime.

“As long as we stay angry, about being a victim, we suffer and need our assailants to suffer also.”

Gender-Equality-Justice-Scales-800px

Consider the adult who was sexually abused as a girl. Now consider how it is for this person who then continues to remain guilty and angry – at the unconscious level – and projects this guilt and anger onto most, if not all the men, she meets. Does she suffer all her life in this way? Does she ever truly find a good, honest and loving man? Not if she remains angry and guilty she doesn’t. What if society remains angry and guilty? Do we all suffer? Are we all finding less from life, whilst we continue to believe justice, is to inflict suffering?

And what about the issue of compensation? Will money bring our loved ones back? All the money in the world will never truly remove the indignity of being raped. It will never remove the invasive nature of rape or the memory of the powerlessness it created. Not in a million years will it.

Some believe religion has the answers to this. Some believe the teachings of the bible remain relevant in this respect. If so, let’s not forget, there are people in parts of the world – entrapped by religious beliefs and its barbarism – still stoning each other. And not for rape or murder either, but for the crime of falling in love with someone their peer group disapproved of. And so, as we’ve just seen, religion, forgiveness – and the analogy of an eye for an eye etc. – remain the barbaric nonsense they’ve always been.

So what is the answer? What is the only form of justice?

The only form of justice is information.

“When we truly understand why we’ve been harmed – why that child was murdered – will we find justice and closure.”

You might find this answer to simplistic. This will be because your mind is fighting against the worlds belief relating to suffering. The world believes: we suffer, so others must suffer, in return. All this does is perpetuate the anger and everything that comes with it. When we understand: they suffered, which is why we suffer, will we instigate change. Damaged people inflict damage in return. Our form of justice only perpetuates the problem.

forgiveness, justice
Think of all this energy we could put to better use

“When we improve ourselves, from the lessons perpetrators of crime have taught us, all the harm is undone. This is justice.”

Being informed is the only resolution. When we love our children sufficiently, so that none are ever placed in harm’s way, we find all the justice we will ever need. Is this an impossible task? Not when parents are informed it isn’t.

life, elitism, children

Life Riding on the Coattails of Others

elitism of the children

A new year beckons and with it we see the new year honours list of 2018. The British aristocracy keeping themselves at the top, by creating another elitist list, of human beings. Life riding on the coattails of others. With that in mind I’d like to create a new award:

THE AWARD FOR EVERY PERSON WHO HAS MADE IT INTO ADULTHOOD

There’s a fairly strict criteria, because if we we were to ask the average adult: Do you consider yourself to be a grown up? They’d no doubt say, yes. There is a finite number of awards available you see. There is a problem though, to what do we gauge our award? To what do we compare our maturity?. How do we set the criteria? How do we know what it actually is to be an adult in 2018?

Difficult questions. One persons take, on what it means to be an adult, can obviously differ greatly from another. We do need some kind of benchmark, and I think we can keep things simple, by listing a few important provisos here. Let’s start with just two:

To be an adult we must have a level of independence and we must also have a high degree of self awareness.

That said, I know of people who have a very high level of independence, and yet have very poor self-awareness. Their behaviour and gameplay is very manipulative, and  conversation/interpersonal skills, no further forward, than that of a ten year old child.

For example, recent experience, with trying to converse with a 57 year old woman, left me feeling very uncomfortable indeed. This was simply due to the fact it belonged in the mind of someone aged ten – or thereabouts. Even though this is the case, the lady in question is independent, and has carried many responsibilities. Raising a child on her own being just one of them.

Suffice to say, this lady, who has remained unaware of much of her behaviour during her life, has had a horrible time. Many of the events in her life have placed excessive demands on her. Excessive pain and confusion has been due to her ability to reject everyone, and everything good, from her life so far. To add to this, her list of past (and present) ailments would include: cervical cancer, crones disease, anorexia and chronic tooth decay. She deserves an award all of her own, just for making it through.

Snippets of conversation have led me to the understanding, her childhood was full of neglect, and other forms of abuse. Please note: It’s certainly not my place – beyond a therapeutic setting – to interfere, counsel or advise, in any capacity whatsoever, someone who has no wish to seek such things. As such I’m a very good silent-listener in her company. Now, the clue to my next award-proviso is in the word seek, because:

An adult must be a seeker.

What must they seek? Well, we could say, they must look to seek knowledge, awareness and truth. By seeking these things, we’re expressing our intention, to become adults.

For much of life, many people, are confused and bewildered by the behaviour of others. Many are left wondering: “What the hell is going on?” “What are these people doing?” “Why does this shit happen?” These people find relief when introduced to the value of seeking.

Shit does happen – as our beautiful American cousins are so keen on telling us – and yet shit really does happen around you, when you’re an adult amongst the children. Children keep-fucking-things-up simply because it’s in their nature to do so. As such, all this chaos, going on in the world around us, is instigated by the children who have yet to find the value in seeking.

In this vain, I’d like to think my style of writing, is suited to many people who don’t seek, purely because they’ve been put off in the past.  Many intellectuals and teachers in the world, are very possessive of their intellect and talent. To this end they deliberately confuse the buggery out of the average man. This must be another form of elitism yet to be fully recognised. So stop making things difficult for others to understand guys. There is no such thing as bad students only useless teachers. Here’s another proviso for my list:

An adult must never ride on the coattails of others.

Many adults are in the position they are, simply because they’re exploiting what they see, as the worlds children. The British aristocracy, for example, achieve this through their awards system. This system states: “We have sufficient high status to award you.” What they’re once again forgetting is, if you treat adults as children (we award you dear child) you only add to their confusion. Those who achieve greatness do this through being adults. Perhaps when the elite finally grow up themselves and find independence, instead of leeching off the rest of us, we’ll all be freed to move on to adulthood. Here’s my final proviso:

Once grown awards become obsolete

That’s right, give me a medal for picking up that rubber brick of the bottom of the swimming pool, but fuck you if you try and keep me down, by awarding me once I’m grown. We must all become sufficiently self-aware, so as to realise the gameplay of dependent adult-children, so we may then help them move on. Thankfully, now we know awards for maturity would be a paradox, I can put this one safely to bed.

Happy new year my grown up friends.

maturity

Maturity: Something people want or something they need?

maturity
Iron and vitamins or sugar? Your choice.

“It’s a bit like offering a child the choice between candy or sprouts. The adults know which one carries the iron and vitamins, and yet, if we were to ask the child, which one they want, we can all guess at the negative outcome.”

In the same light, if my intentions were incorrectly motivated, I could very easily tie my choices down here. When maintaining a blog, if the intention (unconscious or not) is to stroke the ego, through gaining more followers, I’m helping no one. At the same time as restricting myself,  through  looking to please people by stroking their ego’s (surely a kind of mutual masturbation) I’d also be restricting those I’m writing for. If you have something useful to say, stop pandering to the egos and/or your own loneliness. If you are you’ll be doing everyone a disservice.

When we think of the distinction between childhood and adulthood, the truly grown are those who have a mature sense of self. I’ve met adults who’ve never grown beyond a certain point in their maturation. This is simply because they’ve never been shown any advantage to becoming grown.

“When the child isn’t made aware of the reason, why sprouts must become their food of choice, they’ll continue choosing the sugar alternative into adulthood. They’ll potentially continue with this until diabetes catches up with them. It’s the same with alcohol and smoking, we’ll stick with the things of adolescence, as long as we remain there emotionally. For some, this will be the case, all their short lives.”

Of course there can be many other reasons why adults remain as children. Unconsciously hankering for care and attention – missing from childhood – is a major contributor to this phenomena. Extreme trauma is further example: The mind, in an attempt to defend and repair itself, can often be reluctant to move beyond extreme trauma and the associated emotions. Think PTSD.

“Headed in a slightly different direction, I also think the point about our level of independence, being a kind of marker for how mature we are, is very relevant. The level of independence we’ve achieved, clearly marks out our level of fearlessness, and courage.”

Something to consider, in this respect, is our hunter gatherer ancestors. As a result of the melting of glaciers, there’s now evidence to show, solo hunters existed and survived just as well as those who lived within tribes. Human remains, dated to be thousands of years old, have been found at the heads of receding glaciers. The shoes, mittens, clothes, weapons and walking sticks, found with these ancient finds, has been suggestive of people travelling alone. Is it perhaps the case, that solo hunter gatherers, were braver and stronger, than those in constant need of others? Was the solo hunter potentially more adaptable, more mature, and consequently less fearful?

“We can only speculate on these things, however, it’s a certain fact, those who have a high level of independence, along with a courageous and adventurous spirit, live freer more fulfilling lives. To suggest, this is something only modern man has achieved, is absurd.”

There’s no doubt, if whatever you’re doing is only done to gain more friends and followers, the content of your posts, or other creative work, will reflect this. Alternatively, if you’re writing from an adult perspective, you’ll be doing this with the intention to empower.

You might now ask what is the motivation? and the answer is of course, love. No adult will ever be empowered trough being spoken to as if they were a child. Why do you thing religious leaders are constantly tempted to call their followers children? Because they’re all children of God? Or is it more likely they need to keep them stuck in childhood (with all the disability this brings) by talking to them as if we still were?

“Whilst we remain as children – and they as the adults – we continue to give our power away. Stop talking to your audience as if they’re children and potentially you’ll gain the attention of adults followers. They’re the kind of friends I prefer.”

Those who have the courage to read something, that create thoughts directly opposed to the thoughts and opinions of the masses, are the ones who follow the solo hunter. Not because they want to be members of a tribe, they do it because they want to see and experience the freedom, maturity brings.

Jesus Christ! Just let him move on.

pain, human emotions

Imagine being reminded, year on year, about how the actions and behaviour of your past, are still troubling the people around you in the present. Imagine being guilted in this way. Imagine being reminded of your past mistakes over and over again.

To some extent we do this to ourselves. Our minds, in an attempt to resolve unfinished business, often remind us of our errors in the past. How we mistreated people. How we said or did the wrong things. Sometimes, either by our own memories or by turn of events, we’re reminded of the things we did when young and foolish.

It could be said, the benefit to this is, we don’t make the same errors over and over. As a general rule though, because of our painful, guilty mistakes in the past, we’re simply unconsciously aware of how we must behave now. We don’t need to be constantly reminded of them.   

And so, do we really think that if Christ were alive today, he’d actually be failing to see – how the stuff he believed and taught over two thousand years ago – has lost much of its relevance in the 21st century? Many believe he was quite a smart guy.

This intelligence would certainly be enabling him to understand, the short life he lived all those years ago, was in fact his and our childhood. What he said and did then was as a result of his childish thinking. It’s very likely he’d be totally lost and confused, (if not angry) to see billions of humans still following the teachings he believed in, thousands of years ago, as a child.

Would you want people acting on things you said and did when a child? Do we not normally leave the beliefs we held in childhood behind? Do you still believe, that in the dead of night, Santa comes down your chimney to deliver gifts? Or that the tooth fairy leaves money under your pillow?

“We must leave the beliefs of childhood behind, because if we don’t, we remain stuck in that fearful place. A place many, if not all religious people, still currently inhabit.”

The comfortable position, those who work within the religion industry have placed themselves in, is something they’d rather not have to change. It is human nature to take the path of least resistance, even if this isn’t necessarily, the best route.

With this in mind, when it comes to removing ourselves from the comfortable and often fantastical beliefs of childhood, this can prove to be a painful transition. It’s never pleasant when a child – who truly believes in Santa Claus – discovers the deception. A deception designed by adults to remove fear through creating mystery and fantasy.

Like these adults JC wanted people to be less afraid. How can we think he expects us to still need the fantastical beliefs he devised – to help rid us of our fear – two thousand years on? Beliefs devised when he and humanity were still in its infancy.

Two thousand years ago, many human beings, were barbaric. Fear and guilt were used in an attempt to limit this. Religious leaders must think we’re still barbaric and underdeveloped, and as such, need the control rods of superstition, fear and guilt. Are you a barbarian? They really do have a lot to answer for don’t they? They’re keeping billions, in a barbaric, dark past.

“How do they sleep at night knowing they continue to stilt human development through failing to move away from the beliefs of their childhood?”

Of course the reason they’re unable to move forward is their fear of the pain this would potentially create. The expression: “Your pain is the breaking of the shell of your understanding” will never apply to those who refuse to acknowledge truth.

Emotional pain is something we must be taught to deal with when young. Responsible parents teach our children how to temper their emotions during the trauma of their childhood. It’s the parents, who’ve yet to do this for themselves, that struggle with this responsibility. If we have little sense of personal responsibility ourselves, how can we possibly be expected to teach this to our children? Are religious leaders acting responsibly?

“If the religious ‘Fathers’ want to parent us, and teach us right from wrong, they’d better smarten up their act.”

Smartening up their act would include packing their bags. It’s the job of parents – not priests or whatever – to teach children about the importance of empathy. It’s their job to teach children how to empathise. Once we’re able to do this, right and wrong is understood to have nothing to do with god and religion, and everything to do with creating better lives for ourselves. You give fear and guilt and that’s all you’ll get. Priests often fall off the rails. This comes as no surprise when they’re already riddled with fear and guilt.

“Give someone the gift of an lemon, for example, and you can easily imagine the experience of how it tastes. Do we really need to continue tasting the lessons of two thousand years ago?”

Let’s just allow JC to move on shall we? He’s had enough of his childhood. Back then he was a martyr who, according to legend, got himself nailed to a dogwood tree. Today we can easily imagine – if we put our minds to it – that he’d find an improved, powerful and beneficial way, to teach us all about love, and how to live better lives. Do you not think?

Perhaps he’d still end up nailed to a cross. If the religious leaders had it their way he would. In order to maintain their antiquated beliefs, religious leaders, need to remember their past mistakes. Every. Single. Day. Pack your bags guys, it really is time now, for you to move on.

Adapt through facing reality

Forget Reality Happiness Lies in Delusion

Adapt through facing reality
We easily adapt through facing reality

Yes, so here we are again, it’s Christmas. The season to be jolly and all that. And indeed why not? It’s a sure fact, Christmas does have the power to create happiness, peace and love, for some. Who am I to question this power? If it works, do it, that’s my advice.

Just as long as delusional beliefs have the power to make us happy, why shouldn’t we continue to hold them? If a belief, delusional or not, has the power to lift our lives and create happiness, there can be no harm, surely? Well, I think we should entertain a little caution.

Most beliefs are very much a personal thing. Collective beliefs, such as those surrounding Christmas, do come at a cost to some. The cost is, not all of us actually want to be drafted into the collective beliefs, of the majority. Because of this, Christmas may have the opposite effect on us, to that of the majority. To some, Christmas is a very challenging and difficult time.

To feel obliged, into following traditions and the beliefs of others at this time of year, is a very tiring and stressful affair. I can of course hear the reaction. I hear the words: “Bah Humbug” and all that guilting shit. However, it’s true to say, the lonely are no less alone at this time, in fact, they may feel worse.  Unless, that is, they’re able to pull a very special trick.

This special trick, is to adopt some delusional beliefs of their own, that are as useful, to those working within the fictional reality, of religion.

A fictional reality created by the manipulative cleverness of religious workers. These chancers, have succeeded in making the fictional beliefs of religion, a working reality. They earn money from a collective delusion. Is this a brilliant deception?”

This deception has been achieved through the ‘time wearing’ effect. Think of a slow drip of water onto a rock, in time, the water will wear the rock. You might think this an amazing feat, it no doubt is, however we must remember, the Chinese also invented water torture,  something that eventually drove those who experienced it, insane.

And so collective insanity has been created through the ‘time wearing’ effect. I would like to give you further account of this phenomenon.”

Think of spending time with a work colleague who is very kind and accommodating. This colleague even has the means at her disposal to grant you extra time off, and even determine extra paid hours, that you might not necessarily have worked. Over time, the more these ‘special favours’ go on, the more indebted you might become. One day this work colleague approaches you asking for a favour.

Now, even though you may have an understanding – about the potential backward/forward nature of ‘favours’ never being a good thing – you listen to her suggestion. Because this colleague has been unable to use up all her holiday allowance during the year she has a plan to get paid for them instead, the only problem being, she’s salaried.

Yes, she is salaried (fixed wages with no overtime) and you’re not. So here is the suggestion: What she would like to do, is pay you these extra hours, so you can then transfer these extra hours,  into her bank account. 

To the streetwise this will instantly sound a bit doggy. You’d be right, it’s fraud. However, because you’ve potentially been softened up over time, you may feel it necessary to overlook, the fraudulent nature of this arrangement, and go ahead with it.

Clearly, we can see the dangers of the insanity of others, and the ‘time wearing’ effect, rearing its ugly head once again. Imagine how you’d feel if, some months down the line, this anomaly became flagged-up at head office, and everyone got fired. Slightly pissed off I should imagine. The time wearing effect really is a fucker.

“There can be no harm in delusional beliefs provided they’re kept to the individual who finds them of benefit. Many delusional beliefs, when shared with others, are dangerously exploitative.”

And so coming back to happiness and delusion. What we must understand about delusional beliefs is, they often only suit the individual. If delusional beliefs are of benefit and use to you, as an individual,  all is well. Just remember, when we include others into our delusions, this can prove damaging. Cults would be prime example of their damaging nature when others are involved.

Let’s be clear: the ‘time wearing effect’ is very seductive and subtle. We may be sucked into a false sense of security. Be sure that collective beliefs are of benefit to you, if not, dump them. If you choose, I can help you dump the current, collective beliefs – of manipulative religious workers – by pointing something out to you:

“You can make every day happy and peaceful through believing you are a good, compassionate person. A person who has the power of love to help you through. Once you decide to dump the delusions of others, this power of love, is something you will find deep within.”

Please have a lovely day tomorrow. This can be achieved through having nothing to do with the delusions of chancers, and everything to do with knowing this: Your future reality is what you consciously make it. Make the right choice. א

Children running free, Beauty of Naivety

Beautiful Naivety

Children running free, Beauty of
The Beauty of Innocence and Naivety

I’ve worked alongside a person, who has such deep and limiting insecurity within herself, it’s left me feeling bewildered. I’ve asked myself: how can this person think like this? How can she have such a shocking disregard of her own achievements? How can she be so insecure? and how is it she feels threatened by those of no comparison?

“The answer to these questions doesn’t lie quite as deeply as we might first imagine.”

If we’re not given sufficient reason to value ourselves when young, we will potentially always struggle to do so. An adult, who has faced neglect and/or physical abuse in childhood, will find it a persistent struggle to achieve higher levels of self-esteem.

It doesn’t matter what achievements they may have made in their life, they will never regard them as such, when inside, there lurks this lack of security and self-belief. A gremlin of monstrous proportions.

It’s often difficult when observing how the neglected are constantly fighting for their lives. Not only fighting to keep their heads above water, but also to wrestle down their own self-destructive, inner-demons. So damaged are they, that life has become an intolerable day to day struggle. Lonely people wondering why, this stinking mess of a life, has turned into such a goddamn hell.

“There is this desire to gently place my hands on her shoulders and tell her softly why she hates him so.”

I see her with these daily struggles. It would be so much easier for her if she understood the principles of projection: how we project our inner demons onto others. We don’t really know, that person sitting opposite us on the bus, but we hate him so.

“We hate him because he represents the coward who took our power and abused us back then.”

Of course simply projecting all this anger and hatred onto others, children included (even our own) does nothing but keep us angry, and hateful. To top it all, these feelings, also keep us confused.

Projecting our inner fears never fixes the problem. Not until we realise how our power was taken away from us, at a time when we we’re powerless to defend ourselves, do we start to change. Now we have a measure of power, we want to strike out, no matter our chosen victim. Stop wasting your energy.

Through these projections, our unconscious mind is looking to help us resolve conflict. When we get this, freedom from our demons, beckons. Do not blame the man on the bus, do not blame yourself, accept the truth and move on.

Small dependent children have the power of love on their side, and yet sometimes this love, doesn’t exist, within the adults around them.

“In this instance, even the power of love is shrouded in the darkness of a cowardly, abusive adult.”

The harmed, when touched by the love of an understanding person, in their adult lives, often don’t know how to react, or what to do with their conflicting feelings. They may even reject this kind of love as fear and confusion grips their soul.

In order to survive, children must love those they’re dependent on, and it’s so often this love, borne of their naivety, that becomes an additional weakness. As adults, believing we may be abused through our love once again, we shut down and reject the good from our lives. 

“When this love and dependence is used and abused by loveless adults, the gates of hell are opened.”

Even though the woman I’ve worked alongside has achieved greatness, even beyond what she can presently understand, I’ve heard her express how death would come as relief. If she could spend just ten minutes in the mind of a loved, cherished and protected child, she would clearly see the almighty struggle her life has been. It may fill her with rage, at the injustice and inequality of it all, and yet, it may also help her realise, what an amazing and beautiful survivor, she is.

“Perhaps then she would cease this journey of self-destruction.”

Children, who are understood for their beautiful-disability of naivety, and their beautiful-vulnerability through dependence, are fortunate. In this way and through these understandings, they’re set free on a course through life, that is sure and true. Fortunate indeed.

When we understand children for their capacity to love, we are all this fortunate, because we set ourselves free too. If only we could cherish more of our children in this way. If only.

Tasked

The only reason I’m writing this post today is because of this word: Tasked.

I’ve heard it many times over the last few days so that’s the trigger.

And I hear you ask:

“You’re writing a post because you’ve heard the word tasked several times?”

And I reply:

‘Yep it’s that simple.’

The next question that comes to mind is:

“Who’s setting this task?”

And I reply:

‘The universe is setting the task.’

And the next question:

“How do you know it’s the universe?”

And the reply:

‘I don’t, does it matter?’

The only thing that really matters is that you set yourself a task. Without it, there’s little point to life. Without task life is empty and meaningless.

Tasked
We’ve all been tasked to evolve

So my task, as is everyone else’s, is to further life. It is actually the most fundamental task, we’re all set from birth, we just don’t often see it that way.

“Life’s task is to further life.”

When we take a moment to think about life on earth we see that every single, living organism, be it a virus, parasite, worm, or indeed human being, is driven mainly by the need to reproduce.

“Evolution see’s to it that the most adaptable, healthy and strong, get to spread their genetic coding.”

In time the weak fizzle out and die. How long it takes, for mother nature to weed out the weakest and least adaptable, is often something we’re unable to perceive of. The process of natural selection happens over many, many years. It’s happening to us now, we just don’t see it. When we look at the creatures on earth, and all the weird patterns, shapes and so on, within the species that live here, we get a sense of how ancient the planet really is. This planet is very, very old.

“In real terms, our evolution is happening all the time, yet due to its time frame, we’re unaware.”

As we now understand, we’re all tasked to reproduce. So is that it, or is there more we can do?

I believe if we include evolution into this task we’ll be getting somewhere. In other words, we must continue to make our evolution something we’re conscious of. We’re certainly conscious when we’re reproducing – and what a beautiful consciousness it is – however, as with all other living beings on the planet, evolution isn’t always so pleasurable.

“Evolution and natural selection teaches us to do without certain things as other aspects change and adapt.”

Let’s take consciousness. To assist with our evolution and future survival we must become more aware. That seems simple enough, and yet how we do this, is not quiet so clear cut.

Raising our consciousness involves cutting back on some of the clutter. In other words, we must become more efficient with our thinking.

Mindfulness is the word we can use to describe this efficiency.

“We’re efficient when we’re mindful of our thoughts and actions because mindfulness reduces waste.”

There is actually a kind of paradox here. You might imagine, that to be mindful of our thoughts and actions, the majority of the time, would take a lot of energy. It does. However, through being mindful – in the long term – we become more efficient due to spending less time in the past or future, or indeed nowhere in particular, through daydreaming. We become more efficient, and waste less time, by keeping our thoughts in the present moment. Practise is the key. The more we do it, the better we become.

Also the process of asking ourselves – from moment to moment – what our intentions are, is a very powerful way of raising our awareness. For example, what is your intention through reading this post? To learn something? Find a way to dismiss it? Be entertained for a moment? To find a way to disprove it and discount it? Perhaps, you’re looking to raise your consciousness too? What is your true intention?

Through raising our consciousness we better guarantee the future survival of our species. Be assured, the process of evolution and natural selection is doing many things we’re simply unaware of. It’s the genes, of those who seek greater awareness of this, that will survive. The task that life has set you.

Are you paying attention to what the universe is tasking you?

Learn more.

 

The Locksmith Series #7 (look closely)

Emily and the weight loss Questions
Weight Loss

Emily was aware of the disembodied voice asking her questions, she’d already asked her’s: “Why am I am I over weight?” “Why do I keep eating all the wrong things when I know they’re bad for me?” “Why do I keep thinking I deserve a relationship but keep myself feeling unattractive?” “Why am I crying right now?”

The Locksmith had anticipated Emily’s questions, everyone who’d ever been to see him had questions, and of course he knew all about how important they were to his inquisitors, yet he also knew, it wasn’t so much the questions that mattered, but how you asked them.

He asked Emily to use her minds eye and imagine a leopard running through the jungle. Knowing the next question was potentially deceitful (as the animal itself was often seen) but with good intent, he asked her:

“How is it the leopard isn’t fat?”

“I know all about exercise!” exclaimed Emily, “I work out at the gym, but when I get home I eat a packet of fucking biscuits, sorry about my bad language,” she added.

Lord Harry, the little terrier curled up beside her, had raised his head. The Locksmith’s question had worked.

“Well, it must be that eating the packet of biscuits is doing something for you, satisfying you in some way. What is the feeling you experience just before you open the packet?”

“Just before I open the packet?”

“That’s right.”

“I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it before.”

“And now that you are?”

Emily was feeling exasperated, “Christ! . . . , sorry,” she said.

“So if I’m hearing you right the feeling you have is sorry,” said the Locksmith.

“No, no, I was apologising for using Christ’s name in vain, I keep swearing.”

“Yes, and if you were sorry, what would you be sorry for?” asked the Locksmith

There was a long pause before Emily answered that last question, she was waiting for some rather inexplicable angry feelings to subside. Once calm she repeated the question to herself: if I was sorry what would I be sorry for?

Finding her voice she said, “I’d feel sorry that I was opening a packet of bloody biscuits, that’s for sure! . . . sorry.”

“Um hum, that particular packet, or the packet before that one?” asked the Locksmith.

After a while Emily came to an understanding the Locksmith was looking to help her with; he was helping her understand the looping nature of guilt, and how guilt doesn’t tend to be ‘date stamped.’

“We can feel guilty for something that happened years ago, or hours ago, and the feelings associated with each incident can be no less intense or destructive,” he told her.

“What we must focus our attention on, is the first time we felt guilty, eating. Also we must focus on how something has changed from necessity to guilt.”

That last part didn’t make any sense to Emily but she was listening all the same, especially when he asked her: “Tell me about that first time; feeling guilty; eating to feel better.”

She didn’t want to say, but somehow, Emily found the strength: “It was after the first time he touched me,” she said. Now the tears had become a well.

To be continued…

The Locksmith Series #6

Drugs. Back in the bar, the two girls had migrated over, John and Evo were giving it their best.

It was all going so well until the gorgeous girl John was talking to, leaned in towards him, and with her right hand, cupped his balls over his jeans and whispered in his ear: “It’s a shame, but if you weren’t such a stoner, maybe we’d have got it on.” John was so stunned, it was a moment before he realised they’d left.

“Sexy bitches,” he heard Evo say.

John let out the breath he hadn’t noticed he’d been holding. “Yeah, sexy bitches,” he agreed wistfully.

In his heart of hearts John knew it was time to make some changes in his life, he also knew – with this knowing heart of his – it would involve dropping Evo from his life. That would be the easy part, changing his habits, potentially wouldn’t.

“Evo, I’m off mate,” he said, “Things are quieting down.”

“Oh come on man, the nights just getting started,” Evo leaned in and whispered into the opposite ear the girl had used, “I’ve got some more gear.”

“Nah, thanks all the same, I’ve sort of lost me mojo all of sudden, I’ll see around.” He didn’t even give Evo the opportunity to respond, wouldn’t have heard him if he had, a moment later he was outside the bar, standing in the rain. It was time to go home.

The Locksmith Series #5

Abreaction is the phenomena experienced when we revisit emotionally charged memories from the past. These emotions and buried memories drive our neurosis.
Abreaction is the phenomenon experienced when we revisit emotionally charged memories from the past. These emotions and buried memories drive our neurosis.

Abreaction and Meditation. Emily was standing in front of the flame red door. Finding Vidya Alley had been surprisingly easy. A few minutes earlier, as she’d walked toward the door – clearly spotted at the end of the alley – she’d been puzzling over how, in all the years living in the area, she’d never noticed the alleyway before. It’s amazing what you can miss, when you’re not looking for it, she’d thought. As she raised her hand, about to touch the gold coloured knob, neatly centred in the middle of the door, it clicked open. The door continued to gently swing inwards and now, beyond it, she could see a softly lit hallway. There was no one there to greet her, and yet, after seeing the soft light, and now smelling the sweet incense, she decided to step forward.

Tucked into the right hand corner of the L-shaped hallway, sat a grandfather clock, it was gently ticking; the pendulum swinging, right to left, right to left: tick, tock, tick, tock went the hypnotic sound. Just in front of the clock, and somehow slightly out of context, there sat a small terrier type dog: quite scruffy and unkempt looking, and in that way dogs do, when they’re trying to work something out: a sound or something they’ve seen, its head was turned slightly to the right; he sat very still, completely unmoving.

As Emily stared at the dog, it sat so still, she began to wonder if it was a stuffed toy. But then, as if seeming to want to clear up her confusion, the little dog stood up, walked away from her, retreating further into the house. She looked on after it, slightly sad – thinking that might be the end of the encounter – when it suddenly stopped, turned around, and looked back at her.

After a few moments, and a slight wag of its tail, the dog walked off turning into the entrance of an adjoining room. Emily, perhaps foolishly, decided to take that as an invitation to follow, she glanced behind her, noticing that the front door was now closed. It had closed so gently and silently, she hadn’t felt, or heard a thing.

The entrance, through which the little dog had disappeared, was covered by a beaded curtain. Emily couldn’t see what lay beyond the curtain and so allowed her curiosity to pull her into the room.

On entering, the first thing she noticed, was a man sitting on a cushion in the centre of the room. There was absolutely nothing else in the room except a small incense burner and a similar cushion placed opposite him. The man appeared to have his eyes closed. He had very short hair and was wearing loose, saffron coloured, robes. She thought to herself, oh bollocks, it’s a fucking Buddhist.

“Hello Emily,” said the man, “I see you’ve met Lord Harry, and no, I’m certainly not a Buddhist, the reason I wear these robes is because they’re practical and comfortable, and I like the colour.”

Two things popped instantly into her mind: How the fuck did he know my name and who the fuck is Lord Harry?

“Lord Harry is the little fella sitting next to you who showed you in, and no, I’m not reading your mind, I just have excellent timing is all.”

She looked down, and sure enough, there was the curious little dog.

“That doesn’t explain how you know my name though, does it?” said Emily, “That’s a bit creepy by the way, and actually, now I come to think of it, this whole experience so far has been a bit creepy,” – I was warned, she thought – “and why don’t you have a phone, everybody has a phone, and how did you know my name?”

“So many questions girl, come, sit as I am, here, opposite me.”

The Locksmith, she’d assumed this must be who she was now talking to, indicated with his hand that she should sit on the small cushion opposite; she did as he requested; placing her bag on the floor; crossing her legs. Lord Harry, the little terrier dog, came over and curled up next to her; she felt instantly at ease, after everything that had happened to Emily, she was ready to be now.

Taking her attention for a moment, a single, white tendril of smoke, spiralled out of the copper incense burner, in front of her. She began to notice the soft lighting now, and wondered where the source of the light was. There were no lamps, wall or ceiling lights she could easily discern, and yet there was light; a calming, soothing light; it seemed to shift and change like the Northern Lights she’d heard so much of. Emily found herself becoming very relaxed, she dreamily heard the Locksmith telling her to notice her breathing, and how the in-breath felt: cool and relaxing; how the out-breath calmed. Her eyelids became so very, very heavy, she felt so relaxed and calm now, and then the unexpected warmth of that salty tear, as it slowly tracked its way down her cheek.  

What on earth is happening to me, she thought.

To be continued…

The Locksmith Series #4

Loneliness
We all find ways to cope with loneliness

Loneliness. Walking in the opposite direction to Emily, Joanne was pondering on what she needed to pick up from her local convenience store. As it was Friday, she thought it would be especially nice to treat Molly, her cat, to some posh cat food and not the cheap stuff she normally bought. Amongst these thoughts wrestled the indecision of whether tonight’s wine was going to be red or white. To help, she tasted them in her mind, comparing the difference between the two, she also thought about what to prepare for dinner, if prepare was the right word, ready meals didn’t really count on that score.

Earlier, she’d reminded Emily about the Locksmith, because she was beginning to grow a little tired of hearing about her struggles with food; we all had our share of problems, and even though she often enjoyed listening, she felt Emily would be better off talking to a professional. Being slightly overweight was one thing, but Joanne believed Emily’s problems, ran a little deeper.

Now she came to think of it, the friend – less of a friend, more of an acquaintance – who’d first mentioned the Locksmith, had described him in quite vague terms, but said she’d felt deeply affected by what he’d told her. The more she thought of it now, the more she started to doubt if sending Emily on such a quest, had been wise. What did she actually know about the Locksmith? The old acquaintance who’d confided in her hadn’t been seen or heard of for some time, in fact, when was the last time she’d seen Rebecca?

Having climbed the few stairs to the landing she now stood at the door to her flat. The bag containing the cat food, and the red wine she’d decided on, swung from her left arm. Joanne was feeling good about her choices, as her true and only trusted companion, she felt Molly was especially deserving of a gourmet-cat-food-treat. The animal was very important to Joanne.

Whilst fumbling around in her bag for keys, she heard a sound from the other side of the door, a smile touched her lips, it sounded like Molly had anticipated her return.

To be continued…

The Universe Will Test Your Resolve

The universe is testing your resolve, and so, whatever the test, the universe is asking: how strong a human being can you prove to be?
The universe is testing your resolve, and so, whatever the test, the universe is asking: how strong a human being can you prove to be?

Yes, even the universe itself, has willpower, and is designed to test your resolve daily.

That may sound like a very odd assertion. It may sound like so much of the new age wishy-washy-namby-pamby-sentimental nonsense the internet seems so full of these days, however, pause, because you will come to see real, true value in the statement, through gaining deeper understanding.

We could gain this deeper understanding through asking why? Why is the universe so set on testing our resolve? What does it have to gain? And asserting that the universe is testing us, suggests some kind of plan, or even some kind of consciousness. Is the universe conscious?

Well you know what? The only thing that matters is whether or not believing the universe is conscious has any real value. It’s like any belief. When we ask ourselves: is this useful, we’re asking if a believe has any positive input that we can give constructive use.

Allow me to give you an example. Let’s say you’ve very recently really begun to understand the concept of boundaries, and how asserting your needs, is of paramount importance. Let’s say you’ve spent the majority of your life as a bit of a people-pleasing-yes-person, and so full of guilt have you been, that when ever you’ve looked to assert boundaries, you’ve been met by some kind of challenge, that’s caused you to weaken and revert into your old guilt driven ways.

Now, to see these instances as a test, set by the universe, is to acknowledge a kind of universal loving presence, that is working for your benefit. And no I’m NOT going to call this presence God, I’m going to call it a POSITIVE AND BENEFICIAL BELIEF and that’s all. It’s positive, because with this new understanding, it gives the things we found frustrating or overly challenging in the past, a loving purpose. We’re suggesting that everything you experience in life has at it’s root a loving purpose. Is that something that’s useful to believe?

“Whatever the test, the universe is asking: how strong a human being can you prove yourself to be?”

You might now ask: what’s the benefit to being tested on a daily basis? The benefit is development. You can know that if your resolve is tested every day, and you see it as having loving purpose, you will, in time, develop into a beautiful example of a human being. Think about it. 

The Locksmith Series #3

Any form of rape is unacceptable and is conducted by the weak and cowardly. The use of drugs is a modern phenomena in this crime
Any form of rape is unacceptable and is conducted by the weak and cowardly. The use of drugs is a modern phenomena in this crime

Rape. It took John all of half an hour to find Evo. It was one of the reasons they stayed friends; they never made any kind of firm arrangements to meet, they just knew where each other tended to hang out, and so relied on fate to guide them. Beside’s, Evo knew some shady characters, and if John spotted any of them in his vicinity, he could easily avoid them.

Having found one another, and separately visiting the bogs for a line of the powdered stuff, the both of them now stood, propping up the bar, and were well into their second vodka and coke of the evening. Chat came easily in the crowded bar, flying high as they both were, they’d also noticed the menu, lady-flesh menu that was.

“It’d be alright if they’d kept on putting coke in coke like they used to wouldn’t it, we could kill two birds with one stone,” said John

“Nah, be less fun that, I don’t mind a quick snort of the powdered stuff myself. Have ya seen those two over yonder?”

“Of course I bloody av,” he replied, “they’re way out of our league though.”  

“You speak for yourself mate, I reckon after half an hour of my intelligent conversation, they’d be sneaking Valium into my glass, never mind the ruffies I’ve got in reserve for the red head!”

“The Valium I can believe, you’d bloody well need it with the amount of shit you’ve been snorting up ya honk of late,” said John, quietly adding, “and if you do ever use those ruffies mate, it makes you more of a wanker, than I’d ever imagined you to be,”

“I’d never use bloody ruffies mate, I’ve got the necessary talent to get what I need, so don’t you worry ya little head. I believe in chemicals though, all the chemicals I can get, but some of them are strictly for sale to the wankers.”

And so it went on, all typical patter to mark the beginning of a weekend that may, or may not, build into one to remember, or not remember, as the case may be.

For Emily and Joanne their Friday afternoon had continued on in a much more sedate fashion. Earlier in the cafe, soon after John had left, Joanne had shared what she knew of the Locksmith: his address, but also explained, that strangely, no appointments could be made as he gave out no phone number; it was just a case of turning up on his doorstep, and hoping for the best. A bit vague for Emily’s liking but her curiosity had been piqued by Joanne’s enthusiasm.

According to directions, off the main road, a few miles from where she now stood, there was a narrow alleyway. At the entrance there was a small nameplate raised high up on the corner building. The nameplate read: Vidya. Again according to directions, soon after entering this alley, she would find a beautifully well maintained door. On asking, Emily had noted that Joanne had said she didn’t know what the nameplate meant either, and added, she didn’t think it important. Emily thought otherwise.

As Joanne had relayed the directions, Emily was surprised to realise she’d never actually noticed the alley before. She assumed this to be similar to when people, who travel the same journey many times, tend to not notice much of what’s going on around them. This understanding was enough to dismiss her confusion. Back in the cafe, she’d asked Joanne if she’d ever seen it herself, and was met with a blank stare. “Why would I,” she’d said, “it’s you and John who go that way to work.”

Joanne had told her that apparently the door was a freshly painted red and a very striking flame-red at that. She’d also told her that right in the centre of the door was a large brass doorknob. According to the person who’d payed the locksmith a visit some time ago, there was no knocker, letter plate, bell or anything like that, so they’d simply placed their hand on the brass knob, to find out if the door would open or not.

Pulling her coat tight around her shoulders, she thought, how intriguing it is to visit a man, calling himself The Locksmith, who has no visible lock on his front door. Sounds a bit like number Ten Downing street but painted red instead, she thought. There was of course every possibility that the name Locksmith, wasn’t self-appointed, or whether this person existed at all. It could all be a great big, and very embarrassing, wind-up. If that proved to be the case, Emily had already decided to not let on she’d actually gone through with it, and visited the beautiful red door. She set of in the direction of Vidya Alley.

To be continued…

The Locksmith Series #2

Meditation helps to focus the mind as we seek answers to questions the mind wouldn't ordinarily reveal. There are many benefits to meditation.
Meditation helps to focus the mind as we seek answers to questions the mind wouldn’t ordinarily reveal. There are many benefits to meditation.

Meditation. He was sitting in a darkened room, cross legged, a firm cushion raising him slightly from the floor. His back was straight, he sat perfectly balanced with no perceptible tension in his body at all. As he gently breathed in, through slightly parted lips, tongue gently tucked behind his front teeth, his mind spoke the word: Shamatha, an old Sanskrit word meaning “Dwelling in tranquillity.” And as he breathed out, his mind spoke the Sanskrit word: Shunyata, meaning “Emptiness, void.”

He found that using these old words for a short time, at the start of his meditation, helped to rid his mind of all the chatter and the sounds of the world around him. He could remember a time when it was so, so quiet, and how they told him, he’d hear God’s plan. Beliefs in God, as was prescribed to him then, as a child, had long since faded though. There was a new God in his life now; one of his own making.

To the observer, seeing the Locksmith, sitting as he was now, in a darkened room, incense burning, he would potentially have been instantly labelled as Buddhist, yet looks can be deceiving. He didn’t hold to many of the Buddhist’s beliefs, just those he found useful. And he knew about labels, he knew about the label an observer would place on him, and how that flew directly in the face, of so much of what the Buddhists believed. Hypocrisy and nonsense so much of it. No, he was happy to have an identity all of his own, not Buddhist, yet not quite fully anything you could easily label. Human of course, just as human as the Buddhists, who’d even like to lose that particular tag; a tag all humans carry, right up until they die. No escaping that.

As the chatter of his mind stilled so did the need for the repetition of his Sanskrit words. Only aware of his breathing now: the sound and feel of it, a slow steady inhalation followed by that inevitable, yet no longer fully automatic, exhalation. Becoming more and more relaxed with every out breath, drifting down and down into that comfortable place of calm. It was then that the Locksmith heard and felt the name; the name of his next inquisitor: Emily. His mind felt the sound. He would patiently wait.

To be continued…